Saviour
by Bodge
Summary: What if the men Shelby gave her baby to hadn't been the loving parents she thought they would be?
1. Chapter 1

**Saviour **- What if the men Shelby gave her baby to hadn't been the loving parents she thought they would be

**Rating** - T

**Characters** - Shelby & Rachel

**A/N -**This started from an idea that wouldn't leave me alone. There'll either be one or two more parts depending on how I split up what's left.

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Shelby shivered slightly and pulled the blanket tighter around her body, she'd stupidly forgotten to set the timer on the heating before she left for work so she'd returned home after a long day to a freezing cold house. She reached for the wine glass that sat on the coffee table before relaxing into the soft cushions on the sofa and tucking her feet underneath herself, listening to the rain as it pounded on the windows and the wind as it howled across the front porch.

She was emptying the dishwasher a while later when there was a loud knock at the front door. She placed the plate in her hand on the side and rushed to open the door, the weather was horrible and she didn't want whoever was at the door stood there for any longer than necessary. She froze in shock when she saw the young girl on her porch, she knew instantly that that girl was her daughter, the girl she'd only seen for a couple of moments almost fifteen years ago, she didn't even know her name.

The girl said nothing but held out a large brown envelope to Shelby making the older woman come to her senses, "come in, come in, you must be freezing" she took the envelope and ushered the girl into the house as her mothering instincts took over and she noticed the girl had on a just a skirt and a thin jumper even though snow had been forecast for later that night, "I'm sorry" Shelby apologised, "I don't know your name."

"Rachel" the shaking girl whispered, "my name's Rachel. My fathers dropped me off here and asked me to give you that" she spoke softly as she gestured towards the envelope, her teeth chattering and her hands shaking as she spoke.

"Rachel" Shelby whispered to herself before shaking her head, "here, take this" Shelby passed Rachel the blanket she'd used earlier, glad that the heating had kicked in and the house had warmed up, she didn't want the first time she met her daughter to end with the girl getting ill. Rachel took the blanket and draped it loosely over her shoulders as Shelby pulled the papers from the envelope, Rachel hadn't looked, her fathers had told her not to.

Shelby's eyes scanned the top sheet of paper, she couldn't believe what she was reading, _'had enough...brat...Florida...keep her...giving up parental rights...signed paperwork'. _They were dumping the daughter they'd once wanted so much on her doorstep because they were bored of her, they'd not even left her with any belongings, just a small black bag that wouldn't hold much at all.

"Rachel" Shelby spoke softly, "do you know who I am?" Rachel nodded but didn't say anything, "I'm the surrogate your fathers hired, I'm your birth Mom." Rachel nodded, as soon as Shelby had opened the door Rachel had known, she'd seen herself in twenty years time, "do you know why your fathers dropped you off here?"

"They said they were going to Florida" she said quietly, her head bowed.

Shelby smiled sadly, her own eyes filling with tears, "I'm so sorry sweetheart, but you're welcome to stay with me, I'd like you to stay with me."

"I don't even know your name" Rachel whispered, "do I have to call you Mom?"

Shelby shook her head, "my name's Shelby, Shelby Corcoran, and I'd like it if you could call me Mom one day but I understand if you're not ready for that, so for now you can call me Shelby if you'd rather. I'm waffling" Shelby smiled, "let's get you upstairs, I'll show you to the spare, to your room and you can have a warm shower, you look freezing."

Rachel nodded, she was terribly cold but she hadn't wanted to inconvenience Shelby, she didn't want to come across as needy or demanding, she didn't want another parent to abandon her. "Here we are" Shelby smiled as she opened the door to a large, airy bedroom, "this will be your room. It's a little plain at the moment but we can go and get some things to make it a little more homely tomorrow." Rachel wasn't hearing what Shelby was saying, she was too busy taking things in, the walls were painted a warm cream colour apart from the wall behind the bed which was a rich coffee brown. The sheets on the bed were brown and teal and the duvet looked so warm and inviting all Rachel wanted to do was curl up and sleep for a week, there was a large window to the left of the bed and the wall to the foot of the bed housed a sliding door which Rachel assumed was the closet "and your bathroom is right across the hall..."

Rachel suddenly tuned into what Shelby was saying "my, my bathroom?"

Shelby nodded, "well it's the main bathroom really but I have an ensuite in my room so I never really use it, if I have guests over they tend to use the washroom downstairs." She saw Rachel looked a little overwhelmed and decided to give her some space, "I'll go run you a bath and get some clean towels". She looked at Rachel's bag, "do you have something warm to change into?"

Rachel's eyes darted nervously around the room, she didn't want to admit to her mom that she didn't really have anything, that she'd never really had anything, "I, my, it's."

"Don't worry" Shelby interrupted with a smile, "I'll find you some pyjamas or something. I'll get you some soap and shampoo and things too, why don't you hang out here for a minute, I'll be right back."

Rachel nodded as Shelby left the room, she stood rooted to the spot for a moment before walking over to the bed and stroking the sheets carefully so as not to wrinkle them, they were the softest thing she'd felt in longer than she could remember. She walked over to the window next, she couldn't see much because of the rain but from what she made out the room had a view over a large garden. "I've put you some towels and some pyjamas on the radiator in the bathroom" Rachel jumped as Shelby spoke, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you" she walked over to the girl and placed a comforting hand on her arm, pulling it back when Rachel flinched, "I'll make a start on dinner while you're warming up, is there anything you want? Anything you don't like, any allergies?"

"I, I'm vegan" the lie rolled easily off her tongue, "but you don't have to go to any trouble, I'm not really hungry."

It was the most Rachel had spoken since she arrived, "I don't mind" Shelby smiled softly, "I don't have much vegan food in the house but I have veggies, pasta, rice. I could make us a stir fry, would you prefer rice or cous cous?"

Rachel shrugged, "I don't really mind." She'd been told never to make herself an inconvenience, no one should ever have to go to any trouble because of her.

"Okay" Shelby smiled, "I'll rustle something up. The bath should be nearly ready but don't rush, take as long as you need and come down when you're ready." Shelby paused in the doorway for a minute before turning to face Rachel and smiling softly, "if you need anything just yell okay."

Shelby smiled as Rachel came into the room almost half an hour later, the young girl almost drowning in her mother's pyjamas, Rachel wasn't just petite, she was borderline skeletal and Shelby knew she had to do something about that, "sit down" Shelby said with a smile, "this won't be long, it's nothing special I'm afraid, just some rice and veggies, we'll have to go grocery shopping and pick up some things for you."

Rachel didn't lift her gaze from the table she was sat at, "you don't have to go to any trouble for me."

"It's no trouble" Shelby smiled as she turned off the hob and stepped over to the fridge, "would you like water or apple juice?" Shelby gazed into the fridge, she really did need to go shopping!

"Water's fine" Rachel replied quietly, "is there anything I can help with."

"You could get us some cutlery, it's in the top drawer over there" she gestured to the drawers by the fridge as she poured water into two large glasses, "knives and forks are fine unless you want a spoon."

They ate in silence and almost too soon for Shelby the clock on the wall read 10.30 and she couldn't hold back a yawn. She was almost too scared to sleep, terrified that she'd wake up tomorrow to find that this was all some bizarre dream. Another half an hour and she could barely keep her eyes open, "I'm going to head up to bed" she said reluctantly, "you're welcome to stay up and watch tv if you like."

Rachel shook her head, "could I go to bed too?"

"Sure" Shelby smiled, reaching for the remote and turning off the tv, "you don't have to ask to go to bed. Why don't you go up and get ready, I've put you a toothbrush in your bathroom, and I'll just lock up down here and turn everything off then I'll come in and say goodnight."

Rachel still felt like she was dreaming as she stood in the bathroom. Hot water had been a luxury in her father's house, a privilege she'd had to earn but now, now she had her own bathroom, with a bath and a shower, a toilet and a sink. She shook her head as she realised how long she'd been standing there and she quickly began to brush her teeth and splash some water onto her face. Shelby wanted to say goodnight to her and Rachel didn't want to keep the woman waiting.

She was sat on the edge of her bed when Shelby came into the room, "everything okay?" Shelby asked. Rachel nodded and Shelby smiled, "are you going to get into bed or do you sleep sitting up?"

"Sorry" Rachel bowed her head and climbed under the sheets.

"It's okay" Shelby straightened the sheets once Rachel was settled, "do you have everything you need?"

"Yes thank you."

"Okay. I'll see you in the morning then. My room's right across the hall if you need anything."

"Thank you" Rachel said softly, "good night."

Shelby smiled before flicking off the light and leaving the room, "good night darling."

Rachel woke with a jump at 3am, it was the same dream as usual, and like always the sheets around her were soaked through and she knew she'd blown it, Shelby wouldn't want her now. She slid from the bed and curled herself into a ball on the floor in the corner of the room, her father's were right, she didn't deserve to sleep in a bed.

Shelby woke at 3.07 to gentle sobbing from down the hall, it took her sleepy brain a moment to work out what the noise was but as the clock changed to 3.08 she flew from her bed and raced to her daughter. She was confused when she saw the bed empty and flicked on the light only to find a wet patch on the sheets and her daughter hiding in the corner, "Rachel" she spoke softly as she crouched down to her level, "are you okay darling".

Shelby reached out a hand to tuck Rachel's hair back from her face and Rachel flinched, "I'm sorry" she sobbed, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

"It's okay sweetheart, accidents happen." She rubbed her hand up and down Rachel's cold arm, "did you have a bad dream?" Rachel nodded, "do you want to talk about it?" Rachel shook her head and Shelby sighed, "Okay. Why don't you go get cleaned up and I'll sort this out, I'll get you some thing clean to change into." Rachel nodded and silently left the room with her head bowed.

Shelby walked back into the room after leaving some clean pyjamas outside the bathroom. She stripped the bed and sighed, she didn't have another set of clean sheets for the guest room, she usually had time to launder this set between guest visits. "I don't have any clean sheets for this bed" Shelby explained as Rachel walked back into the room, "mine would be too big."

"It's okay" Rachel whispered, "I'll sleep on the floor."

Shelby frowned, "don't be silly, you'll get a bad back, and you'd probably freeze, you can share with me for tonight and we'll pick up some more bedding tomorrow."

"What, what if..."

"Does it happen more than once?" Shelby guessed what Rachel was so worried about.

Rachel nodded, "sometimes."

Shelby smiled sadly, "I'll lay a towel down, and I've got plenty of spare sheets for my bed" she put her arm around Rachel's shoulder and resisted the urge to kiss her forehead, "come on, we've got a long day of shopping ahead of us tomorrow, we should get some sleep." She climbed into the bed and held open the sheets for Rachel, "come on" she smiled when the girl hesitated, "I don't bite and I promise not to hog the covers" she joked as Rachel finally gave in and climbed into the bed beside her mother, "Night Rach" Shelby wanted nothing more than to hold Rachel in her arms as she drifted off to sleep but she didn't want to overwhelm the girl, "sleep well", she flicked off the light and settled herself under the covers.

"Thanks" Rachel smiled into the darkness, "good night."

Rachel woke the next morning to find herself playing little spoon to Shelby's big spoon, she cursed herself for seeking the woman out in her sleep but it seemed like they'd both met in the middle of the bed and now Rachel was laid with her back against Shelby's chest, her head was under Shelby's chin and Shelby's arms were wrapped around Rachel's middle. Rachel sighed, it was a long time since anyone had held her and the thought bought tears to her eyes. She blinked them back and then noticed the clock on the wall, it was almost 10am, it was the latest she'd ever slept and it was the longest she'd slept without having a nightmare and she was still dry. She held her breath when she felt Shelby shift behind her, "Mmm, morning" Shelby mumbled sleepily without letting go of Rachel, "did you sleep okay?"

"Yes thank you".

Shelby still didn't let go of her hold on Rachel, "We should get up" she still didn't move, "but I'm too comfortable." It was then she realised how tightly she was holding Rachel, "Oh, I'm sorry" she moved her hands, "I didn't mean to smother you. I guess I was a little scared I'd wake up to find I'd dreamt about having you here" she rolled onto her back and stretched.

"It's okay" Rachel whispered as she too rolled onto her back, "I, I didn't mind."

Shelby reached for Rachel's hand under the covers and squeezed it gently before slipping their fingers together, "I missed you you know, every day I missed you, I know it's not under the best circumstances but I'm so glad you're here, I'm so glad I've got the chance to have you in my life." She wiped at her eyes, "but anyway, we should get up and get ready or we'll never get anything done. We've got a lot of things to get today, we'll have breakfast at the mall." She paused for a minute, "do you need something to wear? It'll be cold out, do you have something warm to wear? A coat? Some jeans?" Rachel shook her head and Shelby briefly wondered what sort of men she'd let bring up her baby but she tried not to let her anger at the two men show. She stood from the bed and opened the door to her large walk in wardrobe, "come on" she gestured for Rachel to follow her, "I'm sure we'll find you something to wear in here."

All Shelby's trousers were far too big for Rachel, the girl obviously hadn't inherited the 'Corcoran curves', so she ended up wearing black leggings over thick woolly tights and a knitted jumper dress, "Okay" Shelby grabbed her keys and bag once she'd found Rachel a coat and some boots, "let's go. What do you want to get first? Some clothes or things for your room?"

"I, I don't have any money" Rachel admitted, her fathers didn't give her an allowance and she only got new clothes when she really, really needed them and even then everything came from a charity shop. The most expensive thing she owned were her shoes and they'd been just five dollars.

"So" Shelby shrugged before looking over at Rachel, "you, oh God no" she realised what Rachel was thinking, "you won't be buying a thing, I'm your mother Rachel, I've not seen you for almost fifteen years. I'm going to spoil you rotten." Rachel burst into tears at that moment and Shelby was quick to drop her bag and pull Rachel into her arms, "Oh Darling" she sighed, "it's okay, you're okay" she stood in the hallway holding Rachel until Rachel had nothing left, "Rachel" Shelby whispered softly, "I, I don't know what went on with your fathers, I think we should talk about that but I won't force you into telling me anything you don't want to tell me." She took a deep breath, "I don't know what went on, I don't, I don't know anything about how you were bought up but baby I do know that all I want to do is love you and take care of you. I don't mind if you wake me up at 3am because you've had a bad dream and you want me to hold you, I don't mind you asking me for twenty dollars so you can go to the movies with your friends. Whatever you need I'll provide for you, whatever you want, I'll be honest I'll probably give you too" she chuckled slightly, "I see you and I, I can't believe that you're here, I just want to hold you and kiss you, I want you to be happy here, I want you to be comfortable with me, I want you to be comfortable enough to call this your home. Consider this your new start Rachel, whatever went on before is over. A new chapter starts today." Rachel nodded against Shelby's chest, "do you still want to go out?" Shelby asked, "we can stay at home if you'd rather?"

"I don't mind, whatever you'd like to do is fine."

Shelby shook her head, "No it's not, What I want to do doesn't matter, today we do what you want to do."

Rachel looked up at the woman who still had her in a warm embrace, the woman who had shown her more love in the past ten minutes than her two fathers combined in the past ten years. "Could we go out?"

Shelby dropped a kiss to Rachel's hair, "sure thing, let's go get some breakfast first, I know a great little place on the way to the mall."

A little while later Shelby pulled up outside a small cafe and lead Rachel to a table by the window, "here" she passed Rachel a menu, "order whatever you want darling." She saw Rachel smile slightly, "what?" she smiled back.

"You called me darling" Rachel whispered, "and earlier you called me sweetheart".

"Is that okay?" Shelby asked, "they just seem to slip out when I'm talking to you, I can try and stop though if, if you don't like them."

"No" Rachel smiled, "it's okay."

"Good" Shelby grinned, "now lets order some food I'm starving."

"Could I..." Rachel shook her head and began to push her food around her plate, "it doesn't matter."

"Are you sure?" Shelby raised an eyebrow before taking a drink of her coffee.

"Yeah" Rachel began pushing beans around her plate, "it doesn't matter."

"Go on" Shelby smiled, "humour me, what were you going to say?"

"Could I maybe try some of your sausage?"

Shelby frowned, she could have sworn Rachel was vegan which she thought explained the girls choosing beans on toast whilst Shelby had a full breakfast, "didn't you say you were a vegan?"

Rachel nodded, "I'm sorry, my fathers, they..." her eyes filled with tears.

"Hey, it's okay" she cut off a small piece of meat and held her fork out to Rachel, "what do you think?" she asked once she'd had time to eat it.

Rachel thought for a moment, "it, it's nice."

Shelby smiled, "here" she slid the sausage she'd not started eating onto Rachel's plate along with a piece of bacon, "try some bacon too."

"Okay" Shelby smiled as they entered the mall almost two hours after they'd left the house, "we need to get you kitted out for winter, where do you want to go first?"

Rachel shrugged, "I don't know, I erm, I've never bought clothes new before."

Shelby smiled sadly and lead Rachel towards the nearest shop, "we'll start here, we can go up one side and down the other and we can go in every shop if we need to. A warm coat and some sturdy boots are the most important things, but if you see anything you like pick it up, I don't care how much it costs as long as its reasonable." She saw the frown on Rachel's face, "try and keep pants under $100 and shirts under $50. Each that is. I want you to get at the very least three of four outfits. And of course pyjamas and underwear. Whatever you need darling." Rachel's eyes darted to the sale section, "buy things you like, not things that are the cheapest."

Rachel nodded and took a moment to look around the shop. It was huge, she had no idea where to even begin looking, she couldn't look Shelby in the eye, "could you help me pick some things out?" She asked quietly. She was in a store she's heard her peers talk about frequently, a store she could only ever dream of looking into. Any of the other girls at her school would be in heaven knowing they had an almost unlimited amount of money to spend on new clothes but Rachel was lost.

"Of course" Shelby answered Rachel's question with a smile, "do you prefer pants or skirts? I'd like you to get at least a couple of pairs of pants for when the snow comes but we can get you skirts and thick tights for every day if you prefer?"

Rachel shrugged softly, "I could never afford pants" she admitted and Shelby had to blink back tears.

"Okay, well how about we walk around the shop and pick up everything that you see and like, then we can go into the fitting rooms, you can try things on and we'll go from there. Once we know what sort of things you like and what suits you it'll make it easier on the other stores."

It was almost five hours later when Rachel and Shelby finally left the mall laden down with bags. Shelby was pleased that Rachel had picked out several outfits as well as a thick padded coat, a hat, scarf and gloves and a couple of pairs of shoes suitable for the winter. She'd also forced Rachel into picking out some new bed linen and accessories for her bedroom and the elder woman planned on ordering her daughter a laptop and a cell phone from the internet that evening.

Rachel on the other hand was worried, Shelby had easily spent over a thousand dollars just on clothes, she couldn't even begin to work out how many hours of chores she's have to do to work that off. She was also concerned about the new bed linen she'd had to choose. Her fathers got angry if she had an accident sleeping on an old blanket, how would Shelby react if it happened in her brand new bedding.

"Hey, take a deep breath, are you okay?" Rachel didn't realise she'd started to hyperventilate until she felt Shelby's hand on her back, "take some deep breaths, you're okay." Shelby comforted Rachel until her breathing returned to normal, "are you okay?"

Rachel shook her head, "its too much" she gestured to the bags, "we need to take it all back, I can't pay you back I'm sorry."

Shelby sighed, "I told you before Rach, I don't expect you to pay me back. This is what mothers do sweetheart, I don't expect you to pay me for anything whilst you're in my house. Maybe if you stay around after high school and live with me when you have a job we can talk about you maybe giving me something towards the bills but that's a long way off. I am your mother, it's my job to give you food and clothes and a safe place to live and that's what I'm going to do." She smiled sadly at Rachel, "come on, let's get home, we can talk about this there."


	2. Chapter 2

**Saviour **- What if the men Shelby gave her baby to hadn't been the loving parents she thought they would be

**Rating** - T

**Characters** - Shelby & Rachel

**A/N -**I'm overwhelmed by the amount of people who commented/followed/favourited this story! I never thought it would be so popular. It seemed to take on a life of its own as I was writing, so this is part 2/3. Enjoy!

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Once they were back at home Shelby helped Rachel hang all her new clothes in the closet and set out the things she'd chosen for her room, "there we go" Shelby smiled as she fluffed the final pillow, the bed now made up in the new sheets, "much more homely."

"Thank you" Rachel smiled as she stepped from the closet, "where would you like me to put these?" she asked, gesturing to the empty bags she held in her hands.

"Give them here" Shelby took them from her daughter, "I'll put them downstairs. I keep them in the kitchen, I'll show you where and then if you ever need a bag for anything you can just help yourself." Rachel nodded and Shelby smiled, "how about we go get a drink and then sit down and have that chat?"

"O,okay" Rachel's face fell. She had no idea what Shelby wanted to talk about and that terrified her. She knew all along that sooner or later Shelby would start asking questions but she didn't realise it would come so soon. She looked round as she realised she was sat on the sofa with a glass of juice in her hand. She couldn't even remember leaving her room. Wasn't Shelby going to show her something?

"Rach, Rachel" Rachel snapped her attention back to her mother when she heard her calling her name, "are you okay?"

"Yeah" Rachel nodded, looking up at Shelby who was sat on the coffee table in front of her, "sorry."

"It's okay. I just thought, well we don't really know anything about each other, and I'm sure there are things you want to know about me so I thought it might be a good idea to try and get to know each other a little better, 20 questions so to speak but not limited to 20. I'm rambling again, sorry."

Rachel smiled, "I, it's okay, I ramble sometimes too."

Shelby returned the smile, "well now you know where you got it from" she laughed slightly. "So what do you want to know about me?"

Rachel thought for a moment, she didn't want to ask anything too personal in case she angered her, "Erm... where do you work?" she finally asked.

"Carmel High School, I teach English and I'm the show choir coach." She waited to see if Rachel said anything in response and when she didn't Shelby took it as her cue to ask, "what's your favourite subject at school?" She decided to play it safe for now, there were several, more personal questions that Shelby wanted to know the answers to but she knew she had to gain Rachel's trust first.

"I like music" Rachel said with her head bowed, "and English". It was true, music and English were her two favourite subjects with biology coming in a close third but now she knew what her mother did she didn't want her to think she was just saying that to please her.

"What a coincidence" Shelby laughed, "I was a complete science nerd at your age. I loved Chemistry and Physics. I only got into music when I was about sixteen and I tagged along on a friends birthday trip to New York and we saw almost everything that was on Broadway at the time, or at least it felt like we did. It was then I knew I wanted to be on stage but I didn't think Chemistry and Physics were good minors for a major in music theatre so I ended up doing English. I thought it might help with scripts and things." She waited for Rachel to ask her something before prompting, "it's your turn."

"Do you have any siblings?" Rachel played it safe once again.

"Yeah, two brothers and a sister, Matt, Luke and Amy. I'm the oldest, Matt's three years younger than me, Luke's five years younger and Amy's almost nine years younger than I am. What's your favourite colour?"

"Purple" Rachel said without hesitating, "what's yours?"

"I like purple too" Shelby nodded, "it seems like we're more alike than I ever thought."

They went backwards and forwards for almost an hour before Shelby moved on to the things she really wanted to talk about, "last night" Shelby approached the subject cautiously, "does that happen often?"

Rachel took a shaky breath, "I'm sorry, I, I have this nightmare sometimes, it, it's not really vivid but it, I don't know, I can't stop it and I can't wake up. I'm sorry."

"You've got nothing to be sorry for" Shelby said sincerely, accidents happen to everyone, I just wondered if it was something you needed to see a doctor about but if it's because of a nightmare then I doubt it's a medical problem." She could see that Rachel didn't believe her when she said everybody had accidents so she tried to reassure her, "I wet myself when I was pregnant with you" she told Rachel, continuing her story when she saw Rachel look up at her, "It was about five weeks before you were born" she began to explain, "you woke me up, you were fidgeting like crazy, I used to think you were tap dancing in there or something. I tried singing to you, it usually calmed you down but it didn't work so I rolled over and you rolled onto my bladder. I honestly didn't think I was going to be able to get out of bed but I did, I'd just stood up and you moved again and I couldn't hold it, I wet myself."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be, it wasn't your fault, I've always been lazy once I'm in my bed. I'd probably been laid there thinking about going to pee for ages." They sat in silence for a while before Shelby spoke again, "Rachel, I, I need to ask, are you, or have you ever been sexually active?" She was pretty certain Rachel had been neglected by her fathers but she needed to know how far they'd gone but she didn't want to push the girl, Rachel would talk about her fathers when she was ready.

"No" Rachel shook her head, "I'm still a virgin."

"Okay" Shelby put her hand on Rachel's knee, "I'm going to make you an appointment with a paediatrician, I'm pretty certain you're underweight but I want to make sure there's nothing else wrong and that all your vaccinations are up to date. I was going to make you an appointment with my gynaecologist but if you're not having sex yet we can leave that for a while" she smiled softly, "have you started your periods yet?"

Rachel shook her head, "no, not yet."

"We can pick some things up when we go grocery shopping" Shelby told Rachel, "put them in your bathroom for you so we're ready. I was about your age when I started, my sister was a little older the lucky thing" Shelby smiled, she didn't want Rachel to feel like this was a lecture, "we can mention it to the doctor if you're worried" Rachel nodded and Shelby continued, "I'm not going to give you a lecture or tell you about the birds and the bees because I'm sure you've had all that at school right?" Rachel nodded and Shelby continued, "so I won't repeat all that but I know that this is a confusing time for you and I want you to know that I'm here for you, if you have any questions about your body, or about boys, about anything, any questions, or if you're worried about anything no matter how embarrassing you think it is, you can come to me okay, any time, night or day I'll drop anything for you."

Rachel nodded, "you don't have to, you must be busy, I'll try not to bother you."

"No" Shelby said a little harsher than she meant to, "I want you to bother me. I don't want you to feel like you can't come to me because you can Rachel, if I'm busy and you want to talk I'll make time for you, you are my daughter and I want you to forget everything your fathers told you because from now on you are my number one priority, if you're not happy I'll drop everything to change that. I know this is going to be a big learning curve for both of us and I don't expect us to go from being strangers to mother and daughter over night but I hope you'll work with me, I hope you'll let me in and learn to trust me because I'm not going anywhere sweetheart" she took Rachel's hand and squeezed it softly, "even when you're forty with a family of your own I will never be more than a phone call away. I know how tough it is growing up and I feel lucky that I had an amazing mother who I could talk to about anything and I hope one day you'll feel like that towards me, I want you to be able to tell me you've met a really great guy and you're thinking about having sex with him, I want you to be able to talk to me about contraception and drugs and alcohol and anything else that might be on your mind. I get that it might be hard for a while but promise me you'll try, if there's something on your mind you feel like you can't approach me about write me a letter, send me a text, let me start the conversation. I know I'm rambling on but I just" a single tear rolled down Shelby's cheek, "I just want you to know that I hate that I've not been there Rachel and I love you so much, I, I just want to show you how much I love you, how much I've always loved you."

Tears were rolling steadily down both Rachel and Shelby's cheeks by the time Rachel finally spoke, "could I, could I maybe have a hug?"

Shelby was quick to pull Rachel onto her lap, cradling her like a baby she began to rock her crying daughter, "you never have to ask for a hug darling."

"I missed you" Rachel whispered as she began to cry harder, "I never knew who you were but I missed you."

"Oh sweetheart" Shelby sighed as she rubbed Rachel's back, "you've got me now and I'm not going anywhere." She felt her shirt get damp and Rachel clung to the thin fabric as she cried, "shh" she continued rocking and rubbing at Rachel's back, "you let it out, let it all out."

"I, I'm, so...rry" Rachel's breath caught in her throat as she sobbed.

Shelby finally gave in and kissed Rachel's head, "you've got nothing to be sorry for" they sat for a while before Shelby began to get uncomfortable and she stood from the coffee table, easily lifting Rachel in her arms.

"What.." Rachel was confused as she felt Shelby lift her up.

"I thought the sofa would be more comfortable than the coffee table" she smiled as she sat on the sofa and settled Rachel back in her lap, "I mean it Rachel, I'm not going anywhere, I'm going to be there whenever you need me, and I'll be honest I'm probably going to be around when you don't want me to be. You're stuck with me forever now" she said with a smile. She saw Rachel yawn, "close your eyes baby, get some sleep, I'll still be here when you wake up."

"I'm sat on you" Rachel whispered.

"Are you comfortable?"

Rachel nodded, "but you must..."

Shelby shook her head, "if you're comfortable then I'm fine too." She briefly took one arm from around Rachel and reached down the side of the sofa to pull the lever that lifted the foot rest and made her seat recline, "come on" she pulled the blanket she and Rachel had used the previous day and wrapped it around them both, "I could do with a nap too."

Rachel didn't know what time it was when she woke but she could see it was dark outside as well as inside. She shut her eyes again she heard Shelby sigh, Shelby was still holding her tightly and Rachel didn't want to give that up just yet. "I shouldn't have given you away" Shelby whispered as she ran her fingers gently through Rachel's hair, "I should have fought for you. I should have torn up that paper and taken you home from the hospital myself. I love you so much baby, I hope you can see that, I hope I never let you down." Rachel had to screw her eyes shut to stop her own tears from falling. She already trusted Shelby so much and it hadn't even been 24 hours since her fathers had left her on the woman's doorstep and Rachel hated herself, she hated herself for being so open with her mother, so trusting, so weak, but what she hated even more was that a big part of her was almost waiting for Shelby to get bored, to find out how annoying she was, a part of her was waiting for Shelby to leave too.

"Rach" Shelby shook Rachel slowly, "Rachel, wake up darling".

Rachel groaned and stretched as she pretended to wake up, "what time is it?"

Shelby made no effort to move Rachel from her lap, "it's 6.30, if you sleep any longer you might not sleep tonight. Do you feel any better now?"

Rachel nodded, "I'm sorry about earlier, I didn't mean to cry so much."

"It's okay" Shelby kissed Rachel's head, "you can cry all you like, it can be pretty cathartic. I always feel better after a good cry, it makes me feel lighter too but I suspect if you got any lighter you'd float away" Shelby joked. Rachel was shocked, her mother had just admitted that she still cried, something her fathers had always told her only babies did, "I'm getting hungry" Shelby said a while later, "would you like to help me cook something? I don't have much in until we go grocery shopping tomorrow but I'm sure we could rustle something up."

Rachel smiled genuinely, "that would be good" she reluctantly stood from Shelby's lap, "could I use the bathroom first?"

"Of course" Shelby stood and stretched, "you don't need to ask to go to the bathroom, I'll be in the kitchen when you're done." Shelby was stood by the freezer when Rachel came back into the room, "how do you feel about trying chicken?" she asked, "we know you like sausage and bacon, but if you'd rather not then that's okay too." She said quickly, not wanting Rachel to feel forced into anything.

"Chicken sounds good."

"Okay" Shelby smiled, "I thought we could have it with potatoes and vegetables, so why don't you make a start on peeling and chopping" Shelby gestured to the vegetables she'd put on the sideboard, "I'll put the chicken on and then come help you." Shelby put the chicken under the grill and then moved to stand beside Rachel, chopping the vegetables her daughter had peeled and throwing them into a pan ready to cook, "what made you say you were vegan?" Shelby finally asked the question that had been playing on her mind since that morning.

"My fathers told me to tell people I was a vegan, . it was mainly a reason for not eating lunch, they never gave me lunch money and it wasn't often that we had food in the house for me to make something to take with me."

"Okay, well we'll be going grocery shopping tomorrow so you'll have to decide whether you want to buy things from the store to take to school or if you'd rather I gave you lunch money. From now on you get three meals a day at the very least. I don't want you to ever worry about going hungry and if there's ever anything on your plate that you don't like then just say so and we'll find you something else to eat.

"Thank you" Rachel whispered, her head still bowed as she peeled the final carrot. It broke Shelby's heart, no child should ever have to feel lucky for being given three square meals a day. When she was growing up there was always food on the table, she was lucky that her mom didn't go out to work and most days of the week Shelby came home from school to the smell of something amazing coming from the kitchen. She knew she had a huge amount of money saved in the bank for a rainy day, and not for the first time in the past 24 hours Shelby found herself thinking of resigning so she would be able to spend as much time as possible with her beautiful daughter.

Dinner passed silently like it had the previous night and it was only after Rachel had spent almost five minutes pushing pieces of food around her plate that Shelby asked of she was finished, "I'm sorry" Rachel whispered, stabbing a piece of chicken and some potato and forcing them into her mouth.

"Hey" Shelby reached across the table and laid her hand on Rachel's, "I didn't mean it like that. I was just going to clear away the plates, that's all darling."

Rachel looked shocked, "but, but I haven't cleared my plate."

"Have you had enough?"

Rachel bowed her head, "I should be grateful for what you've given me, I shouldn't be wasting your food."

"Rachel, baby, if you're full I would much rather throw some food in the bin than have you force feed yourself and end up making yourself sick. In this house food is neither a punishment nor a reward okay, if you're hungry you eat, if you're not hungry you don't. If you've had enough now we'll clear the plates away, if you feel hungry later you can have some toast or some cereal or something before you go up to bed okay, and you're welcome to help yourself to anything at any time. If you wake up at 3am and want a snack come get something. If I have to work late and you're here alone make yourself dinner if you want to." She moved around the table and gently lifted Rachel's chin so the girl had no choice but to look her mother in the eye, "baby" Shelby wiped at Rachel's damp cheeks, "I promise you that I will never, not allow you food. I can't promise you many things darling, but I can promise you will always have food and water, a safe place to sleep at night and my unconditional love. I would go without to make sure you didn't, so you don't need to worry about that any more."

Rachel looked at Shelby, her eyes full of unshed tears, "thank you."

"There's no need to thank me" Shelby hugged Rachel before reaching for the kitchen roll and wiping at Rachel's tears, "come on" Shelby pulled Rachel to her feet, "lets go watch a movie or something before we go to bed."

"But the dishes haven't be..."

"It doesn't matter" Shelby interrupted Rachel, "they'll still be there tomorrow."

It was a little after 10pm when Rachel asked if she could go to bed, a request which Shelby granted before reminding Rachel she didn't need to ask. They watched the end of the movie before walking upstairs together. "Okay, I've put the mattress protector on the bed and the spare sheets are in the top drawer right here" Shelby gestured to the drawers, "I really don't mind if you wake me up but I understand if you don't want to, I bought some disinfectant wipes, I'll leave them here" she placed them on top of the drawers, "give the mattress protector a wipe before you put the clean sheets on and put your dirty laundry in here" she gestured to one of the two laundry baskets they'd bought specially so Rachel would have somewhere to put the sheets if she had an accident, "there's no need to put them in the washing machine straight away, put them in here and we can sort them out in the morning, and if you don't want to mess about changing sheets then come and get in with me, I wont mind."

Rachel nodded, "okay" she whispered as she climbed in between the sheets and allowed Shelby to tuck her in slightly, "thank you."

"You don't need to thank me, darling." She kissed Rachel's head, "Good night, I've just got a couple of things to do downstairs, but then I'll be right across the hall if you need me."

Rachel nodded as Shelby moved to the door, "could you not close the door all the way?" she asked quietly.

Shelby nodded, "of course, I can leave the landing light on too if you think that might help you sleep?"

Rachel nodded, she hated knowing that she was behaving like a child but she remembered what she and Shelby had spoken about earlier, "yes please."

"Okay, maybe we could get you a dimmer light bulb for your light" Shelby gestured to the lamp by the bed, "have a bright one at one side for when you're reading in bed or whatever and one that isn't so bright on the other side to help you sleep."

Rachel nodded, "I think that would help" she knew Shelby wouldn't tease her or 'punish' her for not being able to sleep in the dark.

"I might have something in the garage, I'll go look tomorrow but I'll leave the landing light on tonight, now try not to worry about anything, you're safe here and unless you need anything I'll see you in the morning." She walked over to the bed, "I love you."

Rachel smiled into the semi darkness but waited for Shelby to leave the room before whispering, "I love you too Mom."

Once she was sure Rachel was settled Shelby headed back downstairs to her office, she added Rachel to her medical insurance before ordering a laptop and a cellphone for the girl. She knew that Rachel would try and refuse the gifts but Shelby planned on telling her the cellphone was so Shelby could always find out where she was and the laptop was for homework. Shelby checked her emails and then spent a while browsing the internet before ordering an ipod for Rachel. The girl had said she loved music and as it was only a few weeks til both her birthday and Christmas and Shelby knew it would make a perfect gift. Shelby tapped her fingers on the desk as she thought about the holidays, she was pretty sure that it had been a long time since Rachel celebrated anything. Would she want to celebrate Christmas or Hanukkah? Would she be overwhelmed by Shelby's family? Would she rather stay home and do something just the two of them. Shelby yawned as she flicked off the computer, she'd have to talk to Rachel about it so there was no point worrying now.

Shelby slowly climbed the stairs and changed into her pyjamas before brushing her teeth, despite the fact she and Rachel had taken a nap that afternoon she was exhausted, all she wanted to do was crawl into bed and sleep until Monday, but first she wanted to check on Rachel.

Rachel looked so peaceful as she slept and Shelby hoped that one day the girl would look that relaxed when she was awake too. Shelby sat on the bed and gently brushed a stray piece of hair back from the sleeping girls face. She knew that the next couple of days would be hectic, she needed to see her solicitor and there would be doctors visits and probably meetings with social workers and that even in the long run things wouldn't be easy but she knew that in the end, whatever it took, however much it cost her, it would be worth it, not only to have Rachel in her life but to show the girl that she deserved so much more, emotionally and physically than her fathers had ever given her.

"You are so beautiful" Shelby whispered as she ran her fingers through Rachel's hair. "I can't believe I helped make you, I can't believe you're the same tiny baby I gave away. I never forgot you" she whispered, "I thought of you every single day but you, you are so much more amazing than in my dreams. I know, I don't know. I don't know you at all, I don't know what your fathers did but I know, I know I'll try to be better than them. I'll try never to let you down. I want you to always know that you're loved. I want you to feel safe. I want you to be able to grow into the beautiful young woman you deserve to be. My beautiful girl" Shelby sighed sleepily, "my beautiful, beautiful girl. I love you so much and whatever you do I'll be so proud. I'll be your biggest fan, even if you're an estate agent in Columbus. I just want you to be happy darling. I hope I make you happy."

Rachel sighed in her sleep and rolled over as if she was seeking out Shelby in her sleep, _'ten more minutes' _Shelby thought to herself, '_I'll just sit with her for ten more minutes and then I'll go to bed'_


	3. Chapter 3

**Saviour **- What if the men Shelby gave her baby to hadn't been the loving parents she thought they would be

**Rating** - T

**Characters** - Shelby & Rachel

**A/N -**So, I had planned on ending this here, but I've had so many reviews and PMs that I think I might continue this. At least until the end of Rachel and Shelby's first week together, so let me know if you'd like to read more.

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Rachel woke the next morning to find herself, once again, being cuddled by Shelby. She frowned as she tried to remember when she sought out her mother but after she gave her brain a minute to wake up she realised she was in the bed she could now call her own. She basked for a moment at the feeling, something most people would take for granted, she was laying on a comfy mattress under a warm duvet in her mothers arms. It was only once that thought had passed that she realised, for the first time in far longer than she could remember she'd slept right through the night without a nightmare, she shuffled slightly before smiling to herself, the bed beneath her was dry. What was it about Shelby that made her feel so safe? She'd known the woman for less than a weekend yet she already felt so safe, so loved. She felt like she was finally home. Rachel smiled as Shelby sighed happily and somehow wriggled closer to her daughter. Rachel glanced over to the clock, it was almost 8.30 on a Sunday morning, if she'd have been with her fathers she'd have been doing chores for nearly two hours now and part of her wondered if she should get up and do something to help Shelby.

"Stop thinking so loudly. I can hear your brain ticking." Shelby's sleepy voice made Rachel jump.

"I'm sorry" Rachel was quick to apologise, she didn't want to anger her mother.

"Don't be" Shelby mumbled, "do you want to talk about whatever's going through your head?"

"No" Rachel shook her head, "I, I don't, it's okay"

"Okay" Shelby shifted slightly so she could kiss Rachel's forehead, "now let's go back to sleep. New house rule, Rachel and Momma sleep til noon on the weekends, or at least 10.30"

"I need to use the bathroom" Rachel whispered. Shelby reluctantly loosened her grip on her daughter, "don't be long" she mumbled, "you're like my own snugly hot water bottle." Shelby waited for Rachel to come back to bed before taking hold of her once again, "do you want to get up?"

"It's only eight thirty fi..."

"It doesn't matter" Shelby said softly, "I'm not going to force you to stay in bed, if you want to get up then we can get up. We need to go grocery shopping anyway."

Rachel sighed, "I'm sorry I've stopped you sleeping in this weekend"

"Nonsense. I'd get up at 5am every day if it meant you were happy."

Rachel sighed again, "I guess I'm just used to not getting much sleep."

Shelby's eyes were already closing, "I'm sure we can change that" she mumbled, "just lay with me for a while?"

Rachel nodded, she didn't really have much choice with Shelby holding her like she was, she didn't even know why her Mom was in her bed but she wasn't going to complain, it was nice to feel loved, to feel like someone wanted her around, she relaxed into the soft cushions and to her mothers embrace and closed her eyes, she knew the chances of her falling back to sleep were slim but there was no harm in trying.

The next time Rachel looked at the clock she was surprised to see it was almost midday, "hey" Shelby smiled sleepily as she walked into the room, "did you sleep well?"

Rachel nodded, "yeah, I did thank you, I've never slept so late before."

Shelby climbed back into bed, "it is pretty late, even by my standards and I'm so lazy at the weekends its unreal." She moved the pillows so she could sit back against the headboard and waited for Rachel to do the same before wrapping her arm around her daughters shoulders and pulling her close.

"Have you been awake long?" Rachel asked as she leant her head on Shelby's shoulder. It surprised Shelby that Rachel was already so open with her, especially after she'd flinched from her touch on Friday, but Shelby had her daughter in her arms, she wasn't going to complain.

Shelby ran her fingers through Rachel's hair and yawned slightly, "not long, only about five or ten minutes. I woke up, went to the bathroom and when I came back from the bathroom you were awake."

Rachel nodded before quietly asking the question that had been playing on her mind since she'd first woken a little after 8am, "why are you in my bed?"

Shelby blushed slightly, "last night, after we said good night I went back downstairs cos there were a few things I needed to do, when I came up to bed I checked in on you and, it sounds creepy but I sat and watched you sleep for a while, you looked so peaceful. I guess I fell asleep talking to you. You can tell me if I'm being too clingy though, I won't mind."

Rachel shook her head, "I don't mind. It's nice I guess. My dad's were never into cuddling or anything."

Shelby sighed, "can we talk about your dads? I don't, I, you said yesterday they never gave you lunch, was there anything else like that that they did? I know it's not going to be easy to talk about darling but once I know about it we can work through it. I don't ever want to do or say anything that might upset you because of something they've done. We can go as slowly as you want to."

"I don't know where to start" Rachel whispered, shifting slightly so her head was buried in the crook of Shelby's neck. If she was going to tell the truth she didn't want to have to look at her mother as she did so, "they rang my teachers every month. If I had anything but straight A's they, Igotaspanking" Rachel mumbled quickly. "10 hits with the belt for every grade I was below an A. I remember one time I was struggling to get above a B in History and Gym and then I got a C in a maths exam. I didn't think I'd ever be able to sit down again."

Shelby sighed and screwed her eyes shut, willing her tears not to fall. "First things first that won't ever happen here. As long as you're trying the best you can then I don't mind if you're getting As or Cs. And secondly, are there any subjects you're particularly struggling with?"

"I sometimes get a B in gym" Rachel said with her head bowed, "and I sometimes struggle with maths."

Shelby nodded, "I can live with you getting Bs in gym, and as for maths it's not my strong point either, but if there's anything in particular your struggling with and I can't help you I'll ask around at Carmel, I'm sure one of the maths teachers there would be willing to give you a bit of extra tuition."

Rachel was shocked, her fathers never so much as asked if she had homework. Shelby had not only offered to help but offered to find someone else to help if she couldn't help herself, "you, you don't have to do that."

Shelby reached out and squeezed Rachel's hand, "I want to, I want you to be the the best you can be, and if that means you need a little extra help in some areas then so be it."

"I was only allowed out of the basement to go to school or do chores" Rachel admitted quietly without being prompted, "I slept on a pile of blankets on the floor, when I erm, when I had the nightmare they bought puppy training pads and took the blankets away. They they never gave me lunch money, they hardly ever gave me any money, all my clothes came from second hand stores, they'd give me maybe ten dollars to get new clothes. I had to take the receipts home so they knew I'd spent the money on clothes" She bowed her head, "they were always at work and they went away at the weekends, they always locked the basement door before they went, I, I..." She shook her head.

"Hey it's okay" Shelby moved to sit beside Rachel and pulled her into a hug, "you don't have to do this all right now. I'd like to get you a therapist though, someone that you can see on your own or we can see together to help you work though what happened, I, I don't want this to hold you back, I want you to be able to move on, would you be okay with that?"

Rachel nodded, "yeah"

"Okay" Shelby smiled, "we'll ask the doctor if they can recommend someone when we go but for now I want to show you something." She stood from the bed and took Rachel's hand, leading her down the stairs and pausing at a door by the kitchen, "this is my basement" she said as she flicked on the light and reached for Rachel's hand again as she felt the girl hesitate, "there are not and will never be any locks on the door and you're welcome down here whenever you like, you don't have to ask permission."

Rachel gasped as they reached the bottom stair, right in front of her was a full size grand piano and behind that a book case full of binders, "the binders are all full of sheet music. When I said earlier you could talk to me about anything I lied, I never want to talk about how the hell I managed to get a grand piano in my basement" she laughed slightly.

"Wow" was all Rachel could manage as she stepped further into the room. The wall at the far end was covered in floor to ceiling mirrors and there was a ballet barre stood in front of the mirror. It was only then that she noticed the floor by the mirrors was different to the rest of the room, "is that?"

"Yeah" Shelby nodded, guessing what Rachel was going to ask, "fully sprung. I used to dance a lot but now I mainly use the floor to do some yoga or something when I've had a bad day."

"Wow" Rachel couldn't believe it, this room was like heaven, and it was only as she turned round that she noticed several pieces of gym equipment in the area under the stairs.

"I usually go on a major health kick at the start of every year" Shelby saw Rachel looking at her 'gym', "it usually doesn't last much longer than the 4th of January" she laughed, "and it's easier to come down here than go to the gym." Rachel nodded, "so, as you can see, even if I did somehow lock you in here, which I promise I never will. It wouldn't really be much of a punishment would it?" She saw the doubt on Rachel's face. "I want you to be happy here. You said you love music so I want you to feel able to come down here and play something or dance, whatever you want, whenever you want. If you think it will make you feel more comfortable I'll take the door off the top of the stairs."

"No" Rachel looked stunned, "you don't have to do that, I'm sorry, I, I'll try harder to..."

"Darling" Shelby reached out to rest a hand on Rachel's arm. "You don't need to 'try' and feel comfortable, that's something that will come with time but my minds made up, I'm going to take the door off tonight. We could pick out a curtain or something to replace it. I'd get rid of every door in the house if it made you feel more comfortable." Once Shelby was sure Rachel had spent enough time looking around the basement she lead her back upstairs, "are you ready for breakfast?"

Rachel frowned, "but I'm still in my pyjamas".

"So am I" Shelby smiled, "does it matter?"

"I, we..." Rachel shook her head.

"Sunday's a day of rest" Shelby smiled as she began pulling things from the fridge, "I consider getting dressed not resting. Sunday is also the day of the pancake breakfast, is that okay with you?"

"I, I don't think I've ever had pancakes."

"Well then" Shelby tried to hide her dismay that the teen had never had something so simple as pancakes, "you're in for a treat baby girl. Do you want plain pancakes with syrup, pancakes with chocolate chips in or pancakes with blueberries in?" She glanced at Rachel and saw the girl was completely overwhelmed, "never mind, I'll make a few of everything."

"Wow" Rachel looked amazed as Shelby placed a large plate of pancakes and a jug of orange juice in the middle of the table before she put a smaller plate and a glass in front of Rachel and another plate and glass in front of herself.

"What would you like to try first?" Shelby asked

Rachel looked exactly how Shelby's young nieces and nephews looked on Christmas morning, "could I have a chocolate one?"

"Sure" Shelby put a chocolate pancake on Rachel's plate, "you can have as many as you like" she said, putting a couple of blueberry pancakes onto her own plate and watching as Rachel cut off a small piece of the pancake and slowly put it in her mouth.

"Oh my" Rachel's face lit up, "these are amazing. What's in them?"

Shelby smiled, Rachel's grin was infectious, "Eggs, flour, sugar, a little milk and chocolate chips."

Rachel swallowed another mouthful of pancake, "could you maybe teach me how to make them one day?"

Shelby nodded, she'd make pancakes every single day of her life if it meant she saw Rachel smile like she was now, "next Sunday we'll make them together" she promised, she saw Rachel finish her pancake and knew the girl wouldn't help herself to more, "how about a blueberry one next? Or a plain one and some syrup? We can pick up some more things for pancakes when we go grocery shopping later."

They sat in silence for a while until almost all the pancakes were gone, "I don't think I can eat any more" Rachel said quietly, "thank you though, they were delicious."

"No problem" Shelby smiled and cleared her plate, "I'll cover them and put them in the fridge, we can warm them up and finish them later if we get hungry, but while we're here I think we should talk about some rules" she saw Rachel's face fall, "nothing like you had at your fathers, I promise. I think we'll start with curfew, if you go out I'd like you to be in at 9.30 on a school night or 11 on a Friday or Saturday, obviously if there's something special going off then talk to me, it's not set in stone, if you need a curfew extension come ask me, if someone's parents are bringing you home and you get stuck in traffic or even if you just loose track of time then call me and let me know okay? Does that sound fair?"

"Yeah" Rachel nodded, "I, I don't go out much, I don't have friends."

Shelby smiled sadly, "maybe that will change now, you're allowed to be out until 9.30, you could join some clubs or something to try and meet new people."

"Yeah" Rachel smiled slightly at the thought, "maybe."

Shelby smiled, "you're almost fifteen so I'm not going to give you a bedtime, I'll let you go to bed when you like, but if there's ever a morning where you're so tired because you went to bed late, that you don't get out of bed when I ask or you oversleep, I'll make sure you're in bed by 9 the next night okay. I'm not into physical punishments Rachel, I hope I wont have to punish you at all but even if I do your punishments will never be physical, I will never hit you. If you stay up late and oversleep you'll go to bed early that night and the next night you'll be able to decide for yourself again, are you okay with that?"

"Yes" Rachel whispered, "thank you."

"It's okay. I'd like you to help out around the house too, nothing major, I don't want you to feel like you have to be my house keeper, I'd like you to keep your bedroom and your bathroom clean and tidy and make sure your dirty laundry is in the laundry room before I do the laundry, I'll give you plenty of notice, and I'd like you to help make dinner a couple of times a week. They're the main things, but y'know, anything you think might help, if you're in the kitchen and you notice the dishwasher has finished put the dishes away, if you hear the washer stop and you're not busy then move the clothes to the dryer. I don't want you to go out of your way to help though Rachel. There might be times when I ask you to vacuum the living room or mop the kitchen but I want you to have time to be a teenager Rachel, unless I ask you to do something I'd rather come home to find you watching tv than scrubbing the floor. I'll never ask you to do a lot and I don't want you doing more than I ask you to."

"Yes Ma'am."

"Last rule" Shelby said with a smile, "never call me Ma'am, it makes me feel ancient, you can call me Shelby, and hopefully one day you'll feel comfortable enough to call me Mom."

Rachel cracked a smile, "Okay."

"Can I add one last rule?" Shelby asked and Rachel nodded, "you need to smile more often."

Rachel smiled again, she was sure that, with her Mom's love and support, that last rule would not be a problem.


	4. Chapter 4

**Saviour **- What if the men Shelby gave her baby to hadn't been the loving parents she thought they would be

**Rating** - T

**Characters** - Shelby & Rachel

**A/N -** I'm going to continue this for a while, I've got quite a few ideas but if there's anything anyone wants to see then let me know and I'll see what I can do to fit it in. Updates might be a little slow until after Christmas but there will be more!

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Grocery shopping with Rachel hadn't been as terrible as Shelby thought it might be, they'd sat together at the kitchen table before they went to the store and looked up recipes on the internet, together they'd picked out things they'd like to eat and used those recipes to build up a shopping list. Shelby had been disappointed but not surprised when Rachel asked what several items she put in the cart were, she also discovered that her daughter thought white, pre sliced was the only type of bread available and Rachel looked like Shelby had given her the world when Shelby told her she could pick out a long crusty baguette. Something so simple as picking a box of breakfast cereal had taken almost fifteen minutes as Rachel had never been given a choice, she'd told her mother she had cornflakes or she had nothing, and they were usually eaten dry because her fathers had told her that, as a vegan, she couldn't have milk. It had however become clear to Shelby that her daughter's diet had been so limited that she should introduce new foods slowly just in case Rachel had any unknown allergies. She'd picked up a small note book so she could jot down what new foods Rachel ate and when she had them, so if anything made her ill they should be able to easily find out what it was.

Once they returned home Shelby served lunch, chicken salad sandwiches on the baguette that had excited Rachel followed by a bar of chocolate Rachel had taken nearly ten minutes to choose. It had taken Rachel a while to choose things but she had chosen them which made Shelby happy, even though Shelby had to ask her to choose things Rachel had eventually made the final decision on her own. They'd spent almost half an hour in the toiletry aisle as Rachel smelt every bottle of shampoo, conditioner and shower gel before choosing ones she wanted to call her own. Even a simple bottle of shampoo had Rachel smiling like a child at Christmas and it was over lunch that Rachel had admitted that all she ever got from her fathers was a plain bar of white soap, but then again the only place she had to wash was a rickety old sink in the corner of a basement that only had cold water. Shelby had mentioned the worry of allergies over lunch and while she mentioned introducing new foods slowly she'd reassured Rachel she would never restrict the amount of food she ate. Rachel understood Shelby's concerns and together they came up with a, fairly short, list of foods Rachel had been 'allowed' and the foods she'd eaten whilst she was with Shelby.

"I'm going to see both our principals tomorrow" Shelby said as they snuggled together on the sofa, Rachel had confessed that the shopping trip had exhausted her so she was laid out on the sofa with her head in her mothers lap, "I need to tell your principal that you're living with me now, and I think we should both take some time off. A week at the least, to give you some time to settle in here."

"Thank you"

"It's okay" Shelby smiled, running her fingers through Rachel's hair, something she already knew would relax Rachel and probably send her to sleep, "there's a lot of things we'll need to do starting tomorrow, to get you officially in my custody, and I figured there might be a few things you want to talk about, and it'll be easier for you to talk about things if we're both here together." Rachel said nothing but Shelby knew she wasn't asleep yet, "Are you worried?" Shelby asked, "about coming to talk to me in case I'm busy?" Rachel nodded slowly. "Okay" Shelby suspected as much, "how about we both set aside one evening a week, we can decide which evening once you've decided whether or not you'd like to join any clubs or teams at school. And on that one evening we make the effort, I'll turn off my cellphone, unplug the landline and the tv and that can be our time. Does that sound good?"

Rachel couldn't help but beam, her fathers had never made any effort to spend time with her and Shelby was going to spend one whole evening with her each week. "Could we play board games? I always wanted to, but I was an only child and my fathers..."

Shelby was shocked that the girl had never played boardgames, "of course we can, but we'll have to go and pick some out first, what do you fancy getting?"

"I don't know."

"You like English right?" Rachel nodded, "then maybe we should start with scrabble."

Rachel nodded again, "Okay, what, what is it?"

"Scrabble?"

"Yeah"

"Well there's a board with lots of squares on and a bag full of square tiles, you pick out eight random tiles to start with and you have to use your letters to make a word, the next person has to make a word with their letters but it needs to intersect one of the words already on the board. Each letter you use is worth a different amount of points and some of the tiles on the board give you bonus points. You keep taking turns until there are no tiles left and the person with the highest score at the end wins. Does that sound good?"

"Yeah" Rachel smiled, "it does".

Shelby smiled, Rachel's smile was infectious, "we can go to the toy store and pick up a few other games too. Monopoly's a classic but it can go on for hours so it's probably best if we save that one for a day when we've got nothing else planned. We used to play it at Christmas, one year we started at about 3 and we were still going at 1am" Shelby glanced down when Rachel didn't reply to see the girl staring into space, "you okay?"

"Yeah" Rachel sighed, "I'm just tired"

Shelby once again began running her fingers through Rachel's dark hair, "close your eyes then, take a nap."

"Don't you think I've slept too much already this weekend?"

Shelby shook her head, "if you're tired then you haven't slept enough. If you didn't sleep too well at your fathers' then your body's probably playing catch up. We can go and lie down upstairs if you like? I'll lay with you" Shelby suddenly remembered something, "actually, I've got something for you upstairs, come up with me."

Shelby led Rachel up the stairs and into the master bedroom, once Rachel was settled on the bed Shelby excused herself and walked into her large closet returning just a few seconds later with a large shoebox in her hands, "what is it?" Rachel asked as the box was put in her hands, it had been so long since she'd been given anything she wasn't sure what to do.

"Open it and see."Rachel could tell Shelby was nervous so she opened the box slowly, only to find, nestled amongst layers of white tissue paper, the softest brown teddy bear Rachel had ever seen in her life.

"I bought him for you when I was pregnant, one of the nurses took him to the nursery and put him in your cot but one of your fathers left him in my room whilst I was in the shower. I decided to keep him for you, I always planned on giving him to you, even if when you turned 18 you didn't want anything to do with me I promised myself I'd find you just to give you him."

"He's beautiful" Rachel had never had a teddy, or any stuffed animal really but she could tell, as she lifted the bear from the box, that he'd probably cost Shelby a huge amount of money, "I'll be sure to look after him" she promised as she began to wrap the bear back up in the tissue paper, only for Shelby to gently take hold of her hand and stop her.

"I bought him with every intention of you growing up with him, I hoped you'd drag him around by his leg and play in the mud with him. He was bought to be loved, maybe, one day, when you head off to college or you move into your own place he'll be there to give you the love and snuggles I would give you if I was there." She watched as Rachel lifted the bear from the box again, "are you going to give him a name?"

Rachel thought for a moment before deciding, "Edward".

Shelby smiled, "Edward Tedward" she chuckled, "now come on, let's lay down and have a nap" she placed the box and tissue paper on the floor by the bed, "you and Edward can get to know each other later." She saw Rachel studying the bear, "is everything okay?"

Rachel nodded, "yeah" she lied, laying on the bed with Edward in her arms.

"No it's not" Shelby brushed Rachel's hair from her face, "talk to me baby."

Rachel shook her had, "it's silly."

"Sillier than planning to keep a teddy bear for 18 years before you give it to someone?" Rachel nodded, tears silently creeping down her cheek, "I don't think it is darling, tell me what's wrong."

"What you said about him being there when you're not" Rachel whispered.

"I didn't mean any time soon" Shelby clarified, "I meant in like 5 or 10 years."

"No, I know that" Rachel sighed, "could, could you maybe sleep with him tonight so he smells like you?"

Shelby frowned, "you think I smell?"

"Not, not in a bad way" Rachel was scared she'd upset Shelby and tried quickly to dig herself out of the hole she assumed she'd dug, "I, I don't know how to explain it, but even though I've only known you a couple of days I already feel better whenever I can smell you, it's a little reassuring I guess."

Shelby had never felt so maternal, she'd read in baby books whilst she was pregnant that newborns would be able to recognise the familiar scent of their mothers but now, almost fifteen years later Rachel found herself comforted by the smell of her mother, "that is the weirdest, yet sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me" she dropped a kiss to Rachel's head, "of course Edward can sleep with me tonight, so can you if you'd like, and if you ever want to snuggle up in a shirt of mine or anything then you're welcome to help yourself".

Rachel rolled over to face Shelby, a huge smile on her face, "can I? Can I really?"

Shelby nodded, "of course you can darling, would you like me to get you something now?" Shelby saw Rachel fight with herself, she knew her daughter wanted to accept the offer but at the same time didn't want to put her mother to any trouble, "wait here" Shelby instructed. She bought out a tshirt, it was large on her so she wasn't surprised when Rachel slipped it on, not at all conscious of changing in front of her mother, the hem of the tshirt skimmed Rachel's knees, "take off your jeans Rach, get comfy" Shelby had changed into sweats whilst getting Rachel the tshirt, "I wasn't tired until I suggested taking a nap". She watched as Rachel carefully folded her new jeans and sat them on top of Shelby;s dresser before climbing under the blanket and allowing her mother to hold her tightly, _'yes' _Rachel thought to herself as she closed her eyes, _'I could get used to this'._

"Thank you" Rachel whispered long after Shelby thought she'd fallen asleep.

"What for darling?" Shelby asked as she gently began running her fingers through Rachel's hair.

"For letting me stay with you."

"Oh darling" Shelby sighed, "if I'd have been able to I'd have had you with me since the day you were born and if I'd known, oh baby if I'd have known what they were like I'd have had you move in here before you had time to blink."

"I'll always remember this. Even if one day you get sick of me and ask me to leave, I'll always remember how good it felt for someone to want me."

"Rachel" Shelby's voice quivered as she tried to hold back her tears, "I'll keep saying it until you believe me, but nothing you could ever do would make me want you to leave. Honey you could tell me you were pregnant, wanted by the police and a drug addict and I would still love you, granted I'd probably ask you to get some sort of help, but I'd still love you and I'd still be there. I have always and will always love and want you. Even when you're 40 and I'm pushing 60, I'll still make time to lay with you like this if you want me too, hell I'll still do it when you're 60, you'd probably have to help me out of my wheelchair and onto the bed though" she joked. "I would give up everything if it made you happy darling. I'd live in a box under a bridge if I knew it made you happy."

"I don't understand" Rachel sighed, hiding her face in the bears fur, "you, you, you don't know me, how can you promise me that when my fathers couldn't put up with me, there must me something wrong with me. They said I used to be too clingy, I'm sorry, you shouldn't have to lay with me. You'll be glad of the break tomorrow when I'm at school, I'm sorry I just turned up and screwed things up for you. I'll make sure to stay out of your way."I know that's hard for you to believe but if someone told me I could guarantee your future happiness by giving up everything I had I wouldn't even need to think about it.

"Hey" Shelby pulled Rachel closer, "calm down" she could hear Rachel starting to hyperventilate and wondered how often the girl had panic attacks, "take some deep breaths, you're okay, you're okay." She continued to reassure Rachel until she felt the girl finally calm down, "I don't even know where to start" she admitted, "but you're not here because I'm putting up with you, you're here because I love you and I want you here. I know things are a little shaky right now, but you have no idea how much I am looking forward to getting to know all about you, and watching you become the beautiful young woman I know you're going to be. There might be times when you annoy me, there might be times when I annoy you too but baby that's life, I used to argue with my Mom all the time but I wouldn't be without her. And as for all the cuddling, I'm pretty sure I'm enjoying it just as much as you are. We've missed out on so much time with each other, there's nothing wrong with us making up for that right now, and I've already told you, we're both going to take some time off to get to know each other a little better." Shelby paused for a moment before asking, "can I tell you something? I want to be completely honest with you."

"Okay" Rachel whispered, terrified to hear what her mom wanted to tell her.

"Your dads didn't just take my baby the day you were born, they took a piece of my heart too. I've lived for almost fifteen years feeling like, no matter what I did, or who I did it with there was part of me missing. Yesterday morning when I woke up holding you, I felt like that missing piece was back. I feel like I'm whole again. I've done a lot of stupid things in my life, a lot of things I regret, but you" Shelby shook her head, "you, I look at you and I can't believe I made something so perfect, so beautiful. I'm constantly in awe that the tiny thing I saw for only a moment all those years ago has somehow become this, this miracle, this real person that I can hold and kiss and love. And I do love you, so much I think I might burst or something. I hold you and I never want to let you go. I want to protect you from everything. I know things haven't been great for you but I promise Rachel, I promise you that it'll be different now."

"I,I'm so glad you're not like they said you were."

Shelby frowned but didn't push Rachel to tell her more, she didn't want to make Rachel feel forced into talking, and she could tell from her daughter's voice that she was struggling to walk the fine line between being asleep and awake, and right now getting her exhausted daughter to rest was more important than finding out what lies the men had been telling her, "close your eyes baby, get some sleep, I'll be right here when you wake up."

"Okay" Rachel mumbled, allowing the feel of Shelby's hand rubbing at her back to sooth her to sleep

Shelby woke before Rachel over an hour later, "hey" she smiled as Rachel's eyes fluttered open, "feeling better?"

"Yeah" Rachel yawned, "thanks."

"Are you hungry?"

"What time is it?"

"Does that matter? If you're hungry then you're hungry." Shelby twisted away from Rachel slightly to look at the clock by her bed, "it's almost five thirty"

"Okay"

"Do you want to make a start on dinner?" Shelby asked, "I thought we could try a pasta bolognaise, see what you think of beef. Pasta's a pretty 'safe' food and you're okay with bread so we know you don't have problems with wheat or gluten, and you've had tomatoes before, we could throw some other veggies in there too if you'd like, does that sound good?" Rachel nodded and Shelby smiled, "if you don't like it you don't have to eat it darling. I honestly don't mind cooking you a second meal if you don't like what's on your plate, all I ask is that you try."

"Okay"

Shelby leant over and kissed Rachel's forehead, "I'm going to go and make a start, you and Edward are welcome to stay here for a while if you like, you still look a little sleepy."

Rachel shook her head, "I, I'd like to get up if that's okay?"

"Of course it is, do you want to go and pull some leggings on under that tshirt so your legs don't get cold?"

Rachel looked surprised, "you mean I can keep it on?"

"Sure" Shelby smiled, "you can keep it forever if you want."

"Really?" Rachel's face lit up.

"Absolutely, now, leave Edward tucked in the sheets and go put some leggings on. I'll wait for you."

Rachel dropped an open tin of tomatoes whilst she was helping Shelby make dinner, and before the tin had even hit the floor Rachel was cowering in the corner away from Shelby, "I'm sorry" she whimpered, "I'm sorry"

"Rachel" Shelby approached slowly, "It's okay darling, it was an accident. you're okay."

"I, I, it got on your t-shirt" she whispered.

"That's okay" Shelby opened her arms, "it will wash, I'm more worried about you, come here baby."

"I, I'll make your shirt dirty too."

"Honey I can wash shirts no problem, come here." Rachel walked slowly into Shelby's arms and was instantly wrapped in a tight embrace, "shh" Shelby felt Rachel begin to sob, "you're okay darling". She held Rachel until she calmed down, "why don't you run upstairs and grab us both a clean shirt from my closet. I'll clean the mess up."

"What would you like me to do?" Rachel asked quietly as she handed Shelby a clean shirt.

"Thanks" Shelby took the shirt, "you can set the table if you like, everything's done here, we've just got to wait for it to cook."

"I, I'm not really hungry any more" Rachel lied.

"You need to eat something" Shelby turned to face Rachel as she pulled the clean top over her head, "I don't want you making yourself ill."

"But I wasted the to..."

"No" Shelby interrupted, "you didn't, accidents happen, things get dropped, knocked over, spilt. We clean them up and move on, there's a saying, 'there's no use crying over spilt milk', well, there's no use beating yourself up over a dropped tin of tomatoes."

"But you, you gave me the luxury of food and I wasted it, I made a mess , I, I..."

"Baby" Shelby held open her arms as Rachel began to sob, "don't do this to yourself."

"I'm sorry" Rachel sobbed as she once again fell into Shelby's arms, "I'm so sorry".

Dinner passed quickly, Rachel didn't eat as much as Shelby would have liked but she ate something so the mother wasn't complaining. It was about 10.30 when Shelby announced she was heading for bed, "are you coming up or are you going to watch tv for a bit longer?"

"I, I'll go to bed."

"Okay" Shelby smiled, "I'll come in and say goodnight when you've used the bathroom."

"I'm scared of sleeping" Rachel whispered, the covers pulled up to her chin so she could hide her face from Shelby, "I don't want to sleep in case I wake up and this is a dream"

Shelby smiled and sat on the edge of the bed, "I worry about that too, but it's not baby, it's not a dream I promise. If you wake in the night come and check, I'll be right across the hall in my room, if you want to get in with me then I really don't mind." She kissed Rachel's head and pulled the covers straight, "good night darling, I'll see you in the morning. I love you."

Rachel smiled and closed her eyes, "good night" she mumbled, sleep already taking over.

Rachel woke in the middle of the night with a jump and immediately began to cry. She'd slept without Shelby for the first time since Friday night and for the first time since Friday night she'd had an accident. Her fathers were right, she really was a baby an animal, she didn't deserve the luxury of a bed. Tears rolled silently down Rachel's cheeks as she stripped the bedding off and replaced it with a clean set, she wanted Shelby, she didn't know why but she felt safe with her mother, without doing anything at all Shelby made everything better. She walked quietly down the hallway and paused outside Shelby's room, the woman had left her door ajar to remind Rachel it was okay for her to go in and Rachel took a deep breath before stepping into the room. The curtains were open and Rachel could tell from the moonlight streaming through the window that Shelby was sprawled out in the middle of the bed leaving no room for anyone else so she did what she was so used to doing, she curled up on the floor and hugged her legs up to her chest. At least Shelby's thick carpet was more comfortable than the concrete floor in her fathers' basement and for that she should be grateful.


	5. Chapter 5

**Saviour **- What if the men Shelby gave her baby to hadn't been the loving parents she thought they would be

**Rating** - T

**Characters** - Shelby & Rachel

**A/N -** This part is a little short, I guess it's kind of a filler chapter, stuff I just wanted to get out of the way without going into too much detail before the next chapter. The next chapter is about 75% written and I'm aiming to have it up within a week.

* * *

Shelby woke at 6.30 to the dreaded bleeping of her alarm. She quickly turned it off before sinking back into the pillows and making a mental list of things she needed to do, starting with making an appointment with the principals at both Carmel and McKinley and calling her solicitor. She sighed again, she wouldn't get anything done by lying in bed and she needed to shower and get ready before she woke Rachel. Shelby yawned and stretched into the mattress, blinking a couple of times before standing from her bed and frowning as she noticed Rachel curled up, fast asleep, in the corner, "Oh baby" Shelby gently touched Rachel's arm, the girl was freezing! Shelby easily lifted Rachel from the floor and laid her in the spot she'd just laid in herself, placing Edward the bear in her arms before kissing Rachel's forehead as she pulled the covers over her.

"Momma" Rachel whimpered as she began to toss and turn in the bed, "please Momma, please, I'm sorry. Momma please, please don't go, don't leave me Momma."

"Shh" tears were running down Shelby's cheeks as she ran her hand gently over Rachel's forehead, "I'm here darling, I'm here and I'm not going anywhere." She moved away only briefly to lay on the opposite side of the bed before wrapping her arm around her daughter to try and settle her. The girl was no longer crying out but she still let out the odd whimper as she tossed and turned. _"For you" _Shelby began to sing, _"there'll be no more crying, for you, the sun will be shining and I feel that when I'm with you, it's all right, I know it's right. To you, I'll give the world, to you, I'll never be cold 'cause I feel that when I'm with you, It's all right, I know it's right. And the songbirds are singing like they know the score, and I love you, I love you, I love you, like never before. And I wish you all the love in the world, but most of all, I wish it from myself. And the songbirds keep singing like they know the score. And I love you, I love you, I love you, Like never before, like never before._" By the time she'd finished the song Rachel had calmed down. Shelby kissed Rachel's forehead again. "we'll get there baby, it might take a while but we'll get there."

Shelby showered, dressed and made a couple of phone calls before waking Rachel a little before 8am, "Morning" she smiled as Rachel's eyes fluttered open, "I'm afraid it's time to get up, we've got a busy day, I need you to get up and get showered and dressed please baby. I'm going to go make a start on breakfast."

"I'm in your bed" Rachel mumbled sleepily.

"Yes you are" Shelby nodded, "I found you on my floor when I woke up. You were freezing."

"I, I had a bad dream" Rachel admitted, "I wanted you but you were sleeping, I didn't want to wake you."

"Oh darling" Shelby sat on the edge of the bed and brushed Rachel's hair back from her head, "if it happens again then please, please wake me up. I don't want you ever sleeping on the floor in this house, there's no need okay."

Rachel nodded, "okay".

"Okay" Shelby repeated, "we've got a lot of appointments to keep today, starting with seeing your principal at 9.30" she glanced at her watch, "so we need to leave in about an hour, you can shower in my ensuite if you want to, my hairdryer is downstairs if you want to borrow it, I didn't want it to wake you."

Whilst Rachel was showering Shelby made both her and Rachel sandwiches, they had a lot of appointments and Shelby didn't know if they'd have time to stop for lunch, sandwiches, she thought to her self could be eaten in the car between appointments, she threw some fruit in the bag with the sandwiches, she didn't want Rachel going hungry. "Hey beautiful" she smiled as Rachel walked into the room, her hair damp around her shoulders, "sit down, I'm making eggs, they're almost ready" she said, pushing bread into the toaster before turning back to the scrambled eggs she had on the stove.

"I, I need to dry my hair."

"It's okay" Shelby placed a glass of juice in front of Rachel, "I'll help you with it when we've eaten if you like, do you want butter on your toast?"

Rachel nodded, "yes please".

"Okay" Shelby buttered two slices of toast before putting some scrambled eggs on top and placing the plate in front of Rachel, "there you go". She sat opposite Rachel with her own plate and watched as the girl slowly took a bite of the eggs. "Do you like it?" Shelby asked once Rachel had swallowed her mouthful.

"Yes thank you".

"Good" Shelby smiled, "we've got a busy day today, we're going to McKinley first to talk to your principal, and then we have to go to Carmel to speak to my principal and I'm going to ask the nurse at Carmel if she can recommend a paediatrician for you. We're meeting my solicitor this afternoon too, and" Shelby took a deep breath, "I'd like you to talk to the police about what your fathers did too. I know it's not easy but I'll be there darling, I, what they did to you baby wasn't right, you shouldn't let them get away with it."

Rachel nodded, "o...okay."

"It's going to be a long day darling, if it gets too much for you then please tell me, I don't mind us sitting in the car for while, I don't mind being late for an appointment if you need to take a break."

It wasn't long before they were in the car and on their way to McKinley, as promised, Shelby had dried Rachel's hair for her before they left, the simple action of having her hair brushed by her mother had Rachel in tears, Shelby had been so gentle Rachel didn't know what to do, she was so used to being manhandled, pushed and shoved that she was overwhelmed by the love her mother gave her.

"Remember" Shelby said as she pulled into the parking lot, "if it gets too much then just say the words, we can always step outside for five minutes."

Rachel was surprised at how fierce Shelby could be, she'd been warned that Coach Corcoran was a lot stricter than Momma Shelby and she was right, no one messed with Shelby, she'd got a week off for both herself and Rachel and Carmel's school nurse had called Shelby whilst they were on their way to see her solicitor, she'd called a friend of hers who was a paediatrician and he'd agreed to see Rachel at the end of his surgery hours, "when was the last time you saw a doctor sweetheart?" Shelby asked Rachel, "and can you remember their name? The doctor you're going to see later wants to try and find your records."

"Erm, I was about 8, maybe 9, his name was Doctor Greenburg, at the surgery near the elementary school."

"Okay" Shelby relayed the information before hanging up the phone, "can, is" Shelby took a deep breath, "I have to ask Rachel, why has it been so long?"

"Dr Greenburg retired" Rachel whispered, "my fathers never found me another doctor."

"Well" Shelby sighed sadly, "you're already on my insurance so if you ever think you need to see a doctor then you just need to let me know and I'll make the appointment for you, you don't even need to tell me why you want to see the doctor if you don't want to. Even if you just have a headache I'd like you to tell me."

"Okay" Rachel whispered, "thank you."

"It's okay" Shelby smiled, "I don't want you to think you have to deal with it yourself if you feel ill, I'm your mom, it's my job to make you better if I can, and if I can't, well that's what I pay my insurance for."

"Thank you" Rachel repeated.

The meeting with Shelby's solicitor went well, he said he couldn't see any problems with Shelby getting custody of Rachel, he pointed out that at fifteen years of age the judge would more than likely allow Rachel to choose where she wanted to live as long as it was safe. He gave Shelby the number of a social worker he'd worked with before, who he said would need to check Shelby's home was suitable and she was able to provide for Rachel. He also pointed out that if Rachel did tell the police what her fathers had done it would almost certainly guarantee that the two Berry Men would never get custody of Rachel or any other child. Shelby sighed, the police station was her next stop.

Rachel cried for half an hour after they left the police station, and Shelby could do nothing but sit in the back of the car, holding Rachel and reassuring her that everything was okay. Shelby was exhausted herself and not at all surprised when Rachel fell asleep. Shelby kissed her forehead and pulled the seatbelt around her tightly, they had one last appointment and that wasn't for another hour, Rachel could sleep until then.

"Rachel" Shelby whispered softly, "Rachel darling."

Rachel yawned and rubbed at her eyes, "Where, what?" she frowned, still sleepy from her nap.

"You fell asleep in the back of the car, we're at the doctors office, your appointment is in ten minutes sweetheart."

The doctors appointment went exactly how Shelby predicted, Rachel was underweight and needed several booster shots but other than that she was in relatively good health. The doctor made another appointment for four weeks time so he could check Rachel was putting on weight and give her her last few shots. He also suggested making an appointment with a dietician which Shelby thought they could do without for the time being, Rachel wasn't reluctant to eat and she was sure, given time, that she could get her weight up without seeing a dietician. As promised Shelby asked for Rachel to be referred to a therapist and mentioned Rachel's panic attacks, for which he prescribed a mild anti anxiety medication, before Shelby thanked the doctor for staying late to see Rachel and guiding her daughter back to the car, all she needed now was for a judge to sign the papers granting her full custody of Rachel and then they could slowly start move on with their lives.


	6. Chapter 6

**Saviour **- What if the men Shelby gave her baby to hadn't been the loving parents she thought they would be

**Rating** - T

**Characters** - Shelby & Rachel

**A/N -** Someone asked about my use of the term 'doctors surgery', I'm from the North of England (Yorkshire to be precise) and that is a term we use, I suppose the American equivalent would be 'doctors office' and I'll try and remember that for next time.

* * *

Shelby woke the next morning to find Rachel curled into her side, the girl looked so young as she slept, one hand firmly grasping the hem of Shelby's pyjama top, the other holding Edward Bear to her chest, Rachel had fallen asleep watching tv the night before and as Shelby had carried her up the stairs she'd been reluctant to leave her daughter alone, so once again she'd fallen asleep holding her baby tightly. Shelby decided as she waited for Rachel to wake, today they were going to do something, anything to try and replace Rachel's memories of bad times with her fathers with good times with her mother. The park! Shelby smiled to herself, it was cold but the forecast hadn't predicted rain and hopefully they'd have the whole place to themselves. Shelby wasn't sure if Hiram and Leroy had ever taken Rachel to the park, but, in her opinion, you were never too old to swing.

"Morning beautiful" Shelby smiled as Rachel began to stir, "how are you feeling?"

"I'm okay" Rachel said softly, watching as Shelby frowned slightly, "really, I am."

"Okay" Shelby nodded, she trusted Rachel to tell her if anything was bothering her, "are you ready for breakfast? I thought we could go out for a walk or something this morning, get out of the house and into the fresh air for a while. Of course if you'd rather we just stayed home and watched tv then that's fine too."

Rachel smiled, "a walk sounds good."

Shelby returned the smile before kissing Rachel's forehead, "I'm going to go make a start on breakfast, are you coming down or do you want to stay here and I'll call you when breakfast's ready?"

Rachel yawned and stretched, "I need to use the bathroom" she said quietly, "but then can I come down and help?"

"Sure" Shelby kissed her again before standing from the bed, "just come down when you're ready."

"Do I need to get dressed?"

"Only if you want to, I'm not going to get changed until after breakfast but you can get changed now if it's what you want."

Less than an hour after they woke Shelby and Rachel were strolling, side by side, down the street. Shelby noticed Rachel brush her hand softly a few times and as it happened for the fourth time Shelby took Rachel's hand in hers, intertwining her gloved fingers through her daughter's and squeezed her hand softly. Rachel was screaming out for physical contact and Shelby would never deny her that.

"Do you want me to push you?" Shelby asked as they reached the park and she lead Rachel over to the swings.

"I, I think I'm okay" Rachel said with a smile as she sat down, watching as Shelby sat on the swing beside her and started to swing slowly.

They sat in silence for a while before Shelby spoke, "do you want to have a competition?" she asked. Rachel looked puzzled, "come on" Shelby smiled, "let's see who can go the highest, are you ready? One, two, three." She wasn't sure if Rachel would allow herself to have fun, but almost before Shelby had got to three, the teen rocked back onto her heels before pushing herself forward, leaning back and pumping her legs as hard as she could to force her swing higher.

Shelby tried to keep up for a moment before she glanced sideways and saw the look on Rachel's face, the girl looked so excited, so carefree that Shelby's 'contest' was soon forgotten and her swing began to slow down, tears rolling down her cheeks as she watched her daughter swing.

Rachel couldn't help but smile, it had been so long since she'd been to the park, she'd forgotten how it felt to have the wind rushing through her hair, to feel like she was flying. She used to think if she swung high enough she'd be able to touch the clouds, but her fathers had told her she needed to grow up, the park was for babies, but here was her mother, encouraging her to act like a child, and Rachel knew there would be no repercussions for her 'immature' behaviour. She couldn't help but glance sideways to see if she was winning and she dug her feet into the floor, forcing her swing to a stop as she noticed Shelby was no longer swinging and had tears rolling down her cheeks, "did I, did I do something wrong?"

"No" Shelby gasped, "no baby, it's, these are happy tears, you looked so happy swinging, seeing you happy made me happy and" she shook her head, "happy tears"

"You don't think I'm too old to swing?"

"Hell no" Shelby didn't even need to think about her answer, "there's a huge tree in the back yard of my parents' house, when I was maybe five or six my Dad hung a swing from it, it's still there for my nieces and nephews to use, but my Mom and Dad both know that my sister and I still fight over who gets the first swing once the kids are all asleep." She saw Rachel didn't look too convinced, "I think if you enjoy something and it makes you happy, so long as it doesn't hurt or offend anyone then you shouldn't let anything stop you doing it darling. Do what makes you happy not what you think will make other people happy." She saw Rachel shiver slightly as she nodded, "come on" she stood and held out her hand, "let's get you warmed up."

Shelby walked with Rachel to a small café by the park, she sat Rachel at a table in the window and went to order, returning a while later with two steaming mugs of hot chocolate complete with marshmallows and cream, and a large cupcake with two plates. She placed a mug in front of Rachel before cutting the cup cake in half, giving the slightly larger piece to Rachel and keeping the smaller half for herself, "Is that for me?" Rachel asked.

Shelby nodded as she used her finger to scoop some of the frosting from her half of the cupcake, "I don't see anyone else sitting there."

"But I didn't clear my plate at breakfast" Rachel said quietly, her head bowed.

"Rachel baby, look at me" Rachel lifted her head to look her mother in the eye, "I know you can't eat everything I give you at meal times, I don't expect you to, I know it's going to take a while until you can eat what I consider to be a normal sized portion but that's okay. You never have to force yourself to eat everything on your plate. You eat until you're full okay, whether that means you have two mouthfuls or two platefuls it doesn't matter, once you're full that's it, there's nothing more to it, if you're hungry you eat, when you're full you stop okay?"

Rachel nodded slowly, "I'm sorry"

"It's okay darling, it's only been a couple of days sweetheart, it will get easier, I promise."

They walked home in silence and once they were home, Shelby changed into sweats and Rachel into leggings and a hoodie of her mother's before the two curled under the familiar blanket on the couch to watch several movies Shelby hadn't seen since her childhood.

It was a little after three when Shelby's cellphone began to ring, she grabbed it from the coffee table, "Shelby Corcoran" she answered, before listening to the person on the other end for a while and speaking again, "can't someone else deal with it? I said I wouldn't be in this we... no, I know, look have you tried the master key? Oh for God's sake" Shelby pinched the bridge of her nose, "I'll be there in half an hour but I'm not hanging around. I'll come and then I'm leaving again, I took this week off for a reason." She ended the call and slammed her phone down on the table, instantly regretting it when she saw Rachel flinch, "I'm sorry darling. That was the school, something's come up, I have to go in for something" she saw Rachel's face fall, "do you want to come with me or would you rather stay here?"

"I'll stay here" Rachel didn't look Shelby in the eye.

"I'm so sorry baby, the glee club are running their own practices this week and I have the only key for one of their equipment cupboards in my bag. I'm not sticking around, it'll take me half an hour to drive there and half an hour to drive back so I shouldn't be much longer than an hour and you are more than welcome to come along with me."

"I'll stay here" Rachel repeated, "what would you like me to do while you're gone?"

Shelby frowned, "what do you mean?"

"Chores" Rachel said quietly, "My fathers always left a list of chores for me to do while they were out. If I didn't complete them in time I got punished."

"Sweetheart" Shelby reached for Rachel's hand, "while I'm gone I want you to relax, watch some tv, go down in the basement and play the piano, read a book, there are plenty to choose from on the shelves in my office. Take a nap if you get tired, if you feel more comfortable taking a nap in my bed then that's fine, grab a snack if you're hungry. Whatever you want to do, do it. All I ask is that you clean up after yourself, if you make a snack put your dishes in the dishwasher, if you knock something over pick it up. I'll leave my cell phone number by the phone in the hallway and I have hands free in my car so if you need anything then you can call me. I'll call you when I get to the school and again when I'm leaving." She saw tears pooling in Rachel's eyes, "what's wrong baby?"

Rachel bit her lip, "are you coming back?"

Shelby sighed and pulled Rachel to sit on her lap, wiping at the girls cheeks before kissing her head softly, "I promise you darling, I promise that I will be back. I expect I'll be gone no more than an hour and a half and I promise I will call you if something comes up and I think I'm going to be any longer." Rachel nodded but Shelby knew the girl didn't believe her. "If I was planning on running off do you think I'd have offered to let you come with me?" Rachel shook her head, "and you can come if you want, I just thought you might like to have some time to yourself. You can explore the house without worrying about where I am."

"Okay"

"And you can call me every ten minutes if you like and every ten minutes I will tell you where I am and how long I'll be."

"Okay"

Shelby kissed Rachel's head again, "I'm going to go now, the sooner I leave the sooner I'll be back. And I will be back" she said forcefully, "I've waited almost fifteen years to be a part of your life, I'm not going to walk away now I've got you." Rachel nodded and stood from Shelby's lap so she could stand herself. "I love you" Shelby wrapped her arms around Rachel, "and don't answer the door to anyone while I'm gone."

Rachel nodded, "what if the phone rings?"

"Answer it" Shelby smiled, "it'll probably be me calling to make sure you're okay. If it's not me, ask who it is, tell them I'm out, ask them for a number and tell them I'll call them back okay. I doubt your fathers will call but if they do then hang up and call me straight away."

"Okay"

Shelby sighed and hugged Rachel again, "I love you darling and I'll see you real soon."

"Bye"

Shelby quickly changed from her sweats and checked that her staff pass and keys were in her bag before slipping on her shoes and grabbing a jacket, pausing for a minute before turning into the office, picking up a white envelope from the desk and pushing that in her bag too, "I'm going to take my keys" Shelby sighed as she poked her head into the living room to see Rachel sat on the sofa staring into space, her knees pulled into her chest and her chin on her knees, "Rach"

"Yeah?" her head snapped up.

"I'm going to take my keys, will you come lock the door behind me please?" Rachel nodded and walked to the hallway. "I love you" Shelby stroked Rachel's cheek with her thumb, "are you sure you don't want to come?"

Rachel shook her head, "I shouldn't need to be with you 24/7 to be okay."

"No" Shelby shook her head, "but it's okay if you want to be." She kissed Rachel's head, "I'll be home before you know it okay." Rachel nodded, "don't worry about anything, you're safe here." Again Rachel nodded and Shelby didn't know what to say any more, so she decided to leave, she knew she'd probably break more than a few speed limits to make sure she got home as quickly as she could. "I love you" she said again, kissing Rachel's head before walking out of the house and standing on the doorstep until she heard the lock click.

Rachel sighed once Shelby had left, the house was silent and she was more than a little bit scared but she knew it was stupid, she was almost 15, she shouldn't need to be with her Mom all the time. Most kids her age looked forward to being in the house alone, Rachel reached for the tv remote, she knew she wouldn't be able to concentrate on whatever she put on but maybe some background noise would help. She sat lost in her thoughts until the phone began to ring and she realised she'd been sat there for almost 40 minutes. "Hey it's me" Shelby said almost as soon as Rachel lifted the phone to her ear, "is everything okay?"

"Yeah, I was just watching some tv" Rachel lied.

"Okay, well I've just got to the school, I shouldn't be any more than twenty minutes and I'll call you again when I'm leaving. I love you."

Rachel smiled as she did every time Shelby said those three words, "I'll see you soon?"

Shelby noted the hint of a question in Rachel's words, "you sure will sweetheart."

Rachel sighed as she hung up the phone. There was something she'd been longing to do and she felt like now was the ideal time to do it. She picked up the phone again and slipped it into her pocket along side the scrap of paper with Shelby's number before taking a deep breath, pulling back the curtain and sitting down on the top step of the basement stairs.

It took almost ten minutes but Rachel slowly made her way down the stairs, letting out a sigh of relief when she got to the bottom. She walked a slow lap around the room before stopping in front of the bookcase by the piano and running her fingers over the binders. She studied the labels before pulling out some of the binders and settling herself on the floor to look through them.

Meanwhile Shelby had sorted out the 'key crisis' and was sat in front of Carmel's principal for the second time in as many days. "I want to hand in my resignation" she said firmly pulling the envelope she'd picked up off her desk before she'd left from her bag. "I know it's short notice but I won't be returning after the Christmas break."

"May I ask why?" The principal was shocked.

"It's all in my letter of resignation, but as I told you yesterday, I'm now the guardian of a 14 year old. She's my daughter, I was a surrogate for two gay men and agreed not to have any contact with her until she was 18 however they abandoned her on my doorstep last Friday and I don't want to go in to too much detail but I think Rachel would benefit from having me around more than I can be if I'm working. She needs to come first right now."

"I can't say that you won't be missed Shelby but I completely understand that family comes first. Is there nothing we can do to make you stay? Parents are entitled to take 'maternity' leave if they adopt a child, I could..."

"No" Shelby shook her head, "I'd still hand in my resignation at the end of it. I need to be there for Rachel."

The principal nodded, "let me pull some strings and sort the leave out for you anyway. It will save you working up until Christmas at the very least." The principal had adopted three children herself and she knew the first few weeks were most important for making any child feel at home in a new environment, "she'll need you now more than ever and it seems silly for you to work your notice when you can take leave, be around for Rachel and still get full pay for a while. Do you have a solicitor or a social worker?"

Shelby nodded, "both."

"Do you have the contact details for either of them, I'll make a few calls, get the documentation I need. I know I'm not going to change your mind about resigning so once I know for certain how much leave you're entitled to I'll make your resignation effective from the end of your leave."

Shelby couldn't believe how understanding the principal was being. She thought she'd have to work at least some notice and she tried to hide her surprise as she took out the business cards she had for both her solicitor and the social worker she'd called yesterday. "I've left Rachel at home but I promised her I wouldn't be too long" she glanced at her watch, "I should really be leaving about now, would it be okay if I came back later in the week to pack up my office?"

"Of course. Keep your security pass, there'll be some paperwork I'll need your signature on before your resignation becomes 'official' so you can give it back then."

"Thanks" Shelby smiled, relief evident on her face, "I need to get going but call me if you need any more information."

The principal smiled and stood to shake Shelby's hand, "you get back to your daughter, anything I need can wait."

Rachel wasn't in the living room when Shelby returned and Shelby noticed almost instantly that the curtain she'd replaced the door to the basement with was pulled wide open. She heard Rachel play a few notes on the piano before beginning to sing so Shelby slipped off her shoes and silently padded down the stairs listening to her daughter sing.

_'Sometimes is never quite enough, if you're flawless, then you'll win their love. Don't forget to win first place, don't forget to keep that smile on your face. Be a good girl, try a little harder. You've got to measure up and make them prouder. How long before you screw it up? How many times do they have to tell you to hurry up? With everything they do for you the least you can do is keep quiet.'_

Shelby's heart broke as she listened to Rachel sing. Her heart was breaking for her daughter and she new instantly that she'd made the right decision to resign.

_'Be a good girl, you've gotta try a little harder, that simply wasn't good enough to make them proud. They'll live through you they'll make you what they never were, if you're the best, then maybe so are they, compared to him, compared to her, they're doing this for your own damn good. You'll make up for what they blew, what's the problem? Why are you crying?'_

A single tear rolled down Rachel's cheek as she finished her song.

_'Be a good girl, push a little farther now. That wasn't fast enough to make them happy. They'll love you just the way you are... If you're perfect '_

"Rachel" Shelby whispered so as to not scare her, "you are perfect baby."

Rachel span round on the piano bench, "you came back."

Shelby sat beside Rachel and used her thumbs to wipe away Rachel's tears, "I told you I would baby."

"I'm sorry" Rachel sobbed, "you said I had to tidy up if I made a mess, I didn't hear you come in, I'm sorry."

"Rachel" Shelby held Rachel's chin, "what are you talking about?" Rachel's eyes darted sideways and Shelby noticed two binders stacked neatly on top of each other beside a third open binder on the floor in front of the book case. "That's not a mess baby, and anyway I'd only expect you to put the music away when you're done with it and you obviously weren't. I'm not going to punish you for that." she said firmly, "now, there's something I want to talk to you about but first" she played a few notes on the piano, "I'm going to play something for you and I want you to listen carefully because I mean every word."

_'Made a wrong turn once or twice, dug my way out blood and fire, bad decisions that's all right. Welcome to my silly life. Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood, Miss, no way it's all good, it didn't slow me down. Mistaken, always second guessing, underestimated. look, I'm still around…_

_Pretty, pretty please don't you ever, ever feel like you're less than, less than perfect. Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel like you're nothing. You are perfect to me_

_You're so mean when you talk about yourself. You are wrong. Change the voices in your head, make them like you instead. So complicated, look how big you'll make it. Filled with so much hatred, such a tired game. It's enough, I've done all I can think of, chased down all my demons, I'll help you do the same.'_

She didn't think the final verse would be appropriate so decided to just sing the chorus one last time. She stopped playing the piano and turned to face Rachel, resting her palms on her daughter's cheeks and using her thumbs to wipe at the tears that wouldn't stop falling.

_'Pretty, pretty please don't you ever, ever feel like you're less than, less than perfect. Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel like you're nothing. You are perfect to me.'_

I don't care what anyone else says" Shelby whispered, her head falling forward until her forehead was resting against Rachel's. "Whoever you are, whatever you do I will love you. I know you don't believe me and honestly I don't know if you will ever understand until you have a child of your own, but there is nothing you could do that would make me want to leave, I will never stop loving you. Even if there's a day where you're angry and we argue and you storm off hating the world and wanting to be on your own I will love you and I'll be there for you. I might not follow you but just because I'm not there doesn't mean I don't want you or love you. Just because I've not been there doesn't mean I didn't want you or love you."

Shelby heard Rachel take a shaky breath, but she never could have predicted the next five words that would come out of Rachel's mouth, "I love you too Mom."

"Oh baby" Shelby sobbed, "I love you" her grip on Rachel tightened, "I love you so much I don't ever want to let you go." They cried together for a while before Shelby wiped at Rachel's tears before kissing her damp cheeks, "there's something I need to tell you sweetheart" Shelby took hold of Rachel's chin and lifted it gently, "I promised myself I'd never keep anything from you, so you should know, I handed in my resignation whilst I was at Carmel, that's why I was a little longer than I expected to be. I've been thinking about resigning since Friday night, I thought I'd have to work some notice but the principal's going to fix it so I don't have to. I want to be here for you darling, whenever you need me to be here I want to be here, I knew, I, some nights I don't get home 'til eight, I can't, I wont do that to you."

"But, but" Rachel wanted to tell Shelby she needed a job, she wanted to ask how they were going to live without money but she didn't want to offend the woman.

"Talk to me baby" Shelby said softly, "if you're worried about money or anything then don't be, I own the house, there's no mortgage and my Nanna left me a lot of money in her will when she died, that's just been sat in the bank gathering interest. I'm not saying I'll never work again, maybe when things are a bit more settled here, maybe I'll give some private voice or piano lessons but there's no need to worry about anything baby, I'm not worried so you don't need to be."

"Why?" Rachel sobbed, her fathers had tried to spend as little time as possible with her, yet her mother had given up her job to be able to be around her, she couldn't help but wonder how long it would be until her mother got sick of her.

"I want to spend time with you darling, I don't want to see you for an hour in the morning before you go to school and an hour at night before bed. I've missed so much of your life Rachel, I want to spend as much time with you as I can. I want to help you with your homework, bake cookies for you to come home to, if you have a bad day at school I want to be here so you can tell me about it as soon as you get home."

"I, I could have transferred to Carmel"

"And you still can darling" Shelby once again wiped Rachel's tears away and tucked some hair behind her ears, "if you want to have a fresh start at Carmel or any other school nearby then you just have to say the words, baby I'd even pull you out of school completely and home school you myself if it would make you happy. Think about it okay, if you don't want to go back to McKinley all you need to do is say the words and we can start looking at other options together, I won't ever force you to go somewhere that makes you unhappy."

Rachel sighed, she wanted nothing more than to escape McKinley, no one liked her, her peers frequently called her names and shoved her into lockers, but their favourite torment was to throw slushies over her, usually several at once. She wanted to get away from there but she was scared her mother would ask why, she didn't want her mother to know what a loser she was. She realised her mom was waiting for her to say something, "thank you" she whispered.

Shelby gently placed her hands on Rachel's cheeks, "baby, I would do anything for you" she kissed her forehead, "I'm starting to get pins and needles in my butt, can we go sit on the sofa?" She said with a smile, trying to lighten the mood.

That night Rachel decided she wanted to try and sleep on her own, Shelby tucked Rachel into the covers and made sure she had Edward Bear, "promise me you'll wake me if you need me" Shelby said softly, "promise me I wont wake up tomorrow to find you sleeping on the floor."

Rachel nodded sleepily, "I promise."

"Okay" Shelby bent to kiss Rachel's forehead, "I love you darling"

Rachel smiled, "I love you too."

Shelby flicked on the dim light beside Rachel's bed as she left the room, pausing in the doorway, "sleep well baby" she said before leaving the room, making sure the door was left ajar behind her before walking into her own room, completely exhausted and ready to climb into bed. Neither Rachel nor Shelby knew just how little sleep they'd be getting that night.


	7. Chapter 7

**Saviour **- What if the men Shelby gave her baby to hadn't been the loving parents she thought they would be

**Rating** - T

**Characters** - Shelby & Rachel

**A/N -**You'll get to meet some of Shelby's family in the next chapter. If there's anything you'd like to see happen then let me know and I'll do my best to fit it in. Someone mentioned a few chapters ago that they'd like to see how Rachel reacts to getting her period, I've got that written but there's a couple of things I want to happen first, including Rachel going back to school, so yeah, anything you'd like to see let me know.

* * *

A blood curdling scream woke Shelby just after 2am and within seconds she was stood by Rachel's bed, "No" she screamed as she thrashed wildly, "please Momma, please don't let them get me."

"Rachel" Shelby said loudly, placing her hand on Rachel's shoulder and shaking her firmly.

"No, please, no, I don't want to go. Get off me." Shelby didn't step back fast enough and one of Rachel's flailing arms hit her across the face hard enough to make her take a step backwards and clutch at her cheek for a moment before Rachel's screams reminded her why she was there. "No Momma, please, why aren't you stopping them. Momma. You said you loved me Momma."

Shelby could almost hear Rachel sobbing as she carefully loosened the sheets that were tangled around Rachel's body before climbing into the bed and somehow pulling the struggling girl onto her lap. "Shh baby, I'm here, I've got you. I love you and I'm never going to hurt you."

Fifteen minutes later and Rachel was still unsettled, nothing Shelby had done had woken the small girl so Shelby just held her, rocking her gently and humming a soft tune. Shelby jumped as Rachel tensed in her arms. "Please" she begged, "I'm sorry, I'll do anything. Not that, please don't, please" Rachel once again began to struggle in Shelby's arms and this time it was her knee that somehow ended up connecting painfully with Shelby's stomach.

"Come on baby" Shelby shook Rachel again as she brushed dark hair hack from Rachel's sweat covered forehead, "you need to wake up now."

"Please" Rachel whimpered, "don't, I'll do anything."

Shelby sighed as she felt the leg of her pyjamas dampen. "Rachel" Shelby shook her again, "wake up please." She was getting desperate now, she was usually able to wake Rachel up straight away but not this time. "Rachel" she repeated. This time Rachel's eyes popped open and she sat up quickly.

"What...why..." She realised that not only was she wet but she was wet and sat on Shelby's lap and promptly burst into tears.

"Shh" Shelby continued to rock Rachel, "you're okay, it's okay." It took Shelby almost half an hour to calm Rachel down, "Oh baby" she sighed and kissed Rachel's head, "we can't do this every night darling, you need to get your rest."

"I'm sorry" Rachel began to get worked up again, "I'm sorry."

"Hey" Shelby kissed her again, "it's not your fault, I'm not blaming you. Did you have a nightmare when you slept with me?" Rachel shook her head, "okay, let's get cleaned up and you can sleep in my bed at least until we see the therapist and start to work through these nightmares." Shelby had already called the therapist recommended by Rachel's paediatrician, but had been unable to get an appointment until the end of the next week.

"No, I can't, I can't make you do that, you don't need to."

"I do baby. The doctor said that you need to rest up and it breaks my heart to see you like you were earlier. I can't keep doing that, I can't watch you hurting. And on a purely selfish level I love cuddling with you, if you're sleeping in my bed it means there's more time for cuddles." She hoped her last reason would lighten the mood a little, "now let's get changed and into my bed, you go clean yourself up and I'll strip the bed and bring you some clean pyjamas and then go get changed. You can come get in bed as soon as you're ready." She remembered what Rachel had been screaming in her sleep, "if I'm not in my room I'll be changing in my en suite, I'll leave the door open so you can come in if you want."

"I'm sorry" Rachel whispered, still playing with Shelby's shirt, "about your pyjamas."

"It's okay darling, as long as you're okay. And I'm sure I'm not the first Mom in the world to be peed on, in fact I'm sure a lot of parents have had their children do worse than pee on them."

Once Shelby got Rachel into the bathroom she made quick work of stripping the bed, she'd put the clean sheets on tomorrow. She opened Rachel's drawers and sighed when she found the girl had no clean pyjamas left. She made a mental note to put some in the laundry when they woke before grabbing two pairs of pyjamas from her own room, leaving one outside the bathroom door for Rachel and quickly changing into the second herself.

When Shelby stepped from her ensuite she found Rachel hovering by the door, "jump in" she said with a smile, "you don't have to wait for me."

"I'm scared" Rachel admitted as she slowly walked towards the large bed.

"What about?" Rachel sighed but said nothing, "do you want to tell me what your nightmare was about?" Shelby asked.

"My dads came back" she said quietly, "they made me go home with them and you" tears filled Rachel's eyes, "you just let them take me, I was begging you to help me but you just stood and watched."

"Oh sweetheart" Shelby pulled Rachel into hug her and almost instantly Rachel began to cling to Shelby's shirt, it was as if that was her way of making sure Shelby hadn't left. "I would never let them take you from me, I let them take you once, I won't make that mistake a second time. If either of your fathers came here I wouldn't even open the door, I'd make sure you were somewhere safe and then I'd call the police." She kissed Rachel's head, "I know you don't believe it darling but I won't ever let anyone or anything hurt you. I'd put myself in danger if it meant you were safe. I know there's nothing I can do to make you believe that. I wish there was, but I'll do whatever I can to show you I'm nothing like them. I want you to feel comfortable here, I want you to feel comfortable around me and I get that that might take some time but I'll wait, whenever you need me I'll be here, day or night baby."

"I know" Rachel whispered as she sobbed into Shelby's chest, "I know you're not like them but sometimes I'm scared that you will be, eventually. That you'll get sick of me too."

"If I had a time machine I'd take you forward twenty, thirty, fourty years, I'd take you to the day you get married so you can see me there, the proudest person in the room. I'd take you to the day you have your first child so you can see me pacing the corridor waiting to hear that I'm a grandma. Birthdays, holidays I'd show you everything but I can't do that so we'll just take it one day at a time for now. You can go to sleep tonight knowing that if I'm not holding you in my arms when you wake I'll be downstairs cooking you breakfast. I'm not going to leave you and if for whatever reason I ever need to run out whilst you're still sleeping I promise I will wake you first to tell you where I'm going and when I'll be back and if possible I'll ask if you want to come with me. I'll never go anywhere without telling you where I'm going and when I'll be back. I lived without you for almost fifteen years Rachel, the worst fifteen years of my life" she kissed the tired girl's temple, "and I'm pretty sure the next fifteen years are going to be the best years of my life."

"I love you Mom"

Shelby smiled and shifted in the bed with Rachel still in her arms so she was lying under the covers, "I love you too darling and as much as I love talking to you I can barely keep my eyes open so lets get some sleep."

"What if I have another nightmare?"

"Then I'll wake you up and if I can't wake you I'll hold you until it's over."

"What if I..."

"Then we get up, we clean up and I'll change the sheets, it's not a problem." She saw the worry on Rachel's face, "would you like me to get a towel for you to lay on?" Shelby remembered what Rachel had said about her fathers making her sleep on puppy training pads and hoped offering her a towel to sleep on wouldn't bring back any bad memories."

"I could just sleep on the floor" Rachel offered.

"Don''t be silly, I can't cuddle with you if you sleep on the floor. I don't mind changing the bedding if anything happens but if you're worried I'll grab you a towel, it's not a problem."

"Could, could I have a towel please?"

"Of course" Shelby reluctantly stood from the bed, "I'll go get you one." Shelby flicked on the light as she walked into her ensuite again and caught sight of herself in the mirror, her right cheek was bright red from where Rachel had hit her, she thanked god that the lighting in her bedroom was obviously too dim to make it out and she hoped it would be faded by morning, she didn't really want to explain what had happened. She took a moment to inspect her stomach, there was no mark at the moment but it felt tender and she was sure it would bruise but at least she could keep her stomach covered.

"Come on now" Shelby said softly once Rachel was settled on the towel, "lets get some sleep" she'd made sure to leave the light of her ensuite on and the door open so she was able to flick off the light by her bed. "What's wrong?" Shelby asked a while later as she felt Rachel shift for what felt like the millionth time.

"I'm sorry" Rachel whispered, "I didn't mean to interrupt your sleep, I'll go and sleep in my own bed I'm sorry."

"There aren't any sheets on your bed, are you struggling to get settled?"

"Yeah" Rachel sighed quietly, and Shelby knew the young girl was close to tears.

"Come on" she let go of Rachel, "shuffle, fidget, get it out, wiggle then get comfortable." Rachel rolled over to face Shelby and laid still for a moment, "comfy?" Rachel nodded and Shelby kissed her forehead, wrapping her in her arms again, "okay, close your eyes" Rachel did as she was told, "clear your head, just concentrate on me."

"_I can see it's hurting you I can feel your pain, it's hard to see the sunshine through the rain. I know sometimes it seems as if it's never gonna end, but you'll get through it, just don't give in 'cause you can count on me through thick and thin. This mother's love will never end, when you are weak I will be strong, helping you to carry on. Call on me, I will be there, don't be afraid. Please believe me when I say, count on me_." It didn't take much, just one verse and a chorus and Rachel was gone. Shelby felt her daughter relax against her and sighed, "I love you" she whispered, kissing Rachel's head before finally closing her own eyes.

Shelby woke just a few hours later to find herself laid on her back with Rachel literally laid on top of her. Rachel had shuffled down the bed slightly and she laid with her head on her mothers chest and her legs between Shelby's, Edward Bear's leg grasped loosely in Rachel's right hand. Shelby smiled and brushed some hair back from Rachel's face. Her daughter looked so much younger when she was sleeping. It was obvious that she felt safe with Shelby, even if she didn't feel able to admit it yet. Rachel frowned in her sleep and Shelby gently ran her fingers over the crumpled brow, smiling slightly when the action turned Rachel's frown into a smile. Her stomach ached even under Rachel's slight weight but Shelby knew she'd lay like this forever if it meant Rachel was happy.

"Momma" Rachel mumbled sleepily almost an hour later before frowning, "momma".

Shelby kissed Rachel's forehead, "I'm here darling, I'm here."

"Momma?" Rachel sounded confused and she slowly opened her eyes, blinking a few times as she woke up fully. "Momma".

"What's wrong baby?"

"I'm, what, I, I..." She shook her head and closed her eyes again, snuggling her head against Shelby's chest.

"Shh, you're okay" Shelby rubbed Rachel's back until she was certain Rachel had fallen back to sleep. It was another half an hour before Rachel opened her eyes again, "morning" Shelby smiled as Rachel tilted her head to look at her, "are you awake this time?"

Rachel nodded, "yeah, why, why wouldn't I be?"

"You sort of woke up about half an hour ago, you said my name a couple of times and then tried to say something else but you fell back to sleep again."

"I'm sorry I woke you" Rachel whispered, her hands once again finding the hem of Shelby's shirt before she gasped, "I'm laying on you, I'm so sorry" she tried to roll away but Shelby held her tightly.

"You didn't wake me, I've been awake for a while, and I don't mind you laying on me."

"You can't be comfortable."

Shelby smiled, her stomach ached terribly from where Rachel had kneed her during her nightmare but she said nothing, "it's fine" she lied, "as long as you're comfortable." They lied in silence for a while, Rachel playing with the hem of Shelby's shirt and Shelby running her fingers through Rachel's hair, before Shelby spoke again. "I read some baby books when I was pregnant" she told Rachel, "they all said that you could hear my heartbeat, that it'd be reassuring for you. I begged your fathers to lie like this with you when you were born. I wish I could have done it myself, I'm so sorry baby. I wish I could have done this sooner, I wish, I wish I'd been there baby."

"You're here now" Rachel whispered, her tears dripping from her cheek and soaking Shelby's shirt. "I, when I was younger I used to sit in the basement and beg you to save me. I used to dream about you coming and rescuing me and you have, you've saved me but being with you is so much better than it ever was in my dreams."

"That's because dreams end" Shelby whispered as her own tears began falling down her cheeks, "dreams end but I promise you baby, this is forever."

"I told them once" Rachel sighed, "I told them that one day you were going to rescue me. They said, they said you didn't love me and you never wanted me. They said you only had me because you wanted the money they gave you."

"That's not true" Shelby said defensively. "I had you because your fathers seemed like nice men desperate to have be parents, I signed a contract saying I wouldn't see you until you were 18 before I even got pregnant darling. But the second I heard the doctor congratulate your fathers I regretted it. You were the size of a pea when I had my first ultrasound but as soon as I saw you, I'll be honest I didn't even know where you were, the sonographer had to point you out, but the second I saw you I felt an overwhelming urge to do nothing but protect you. I was going to run away, get out of Lima and bring you up myself but Hiram found out and either he or Leroy were always around from then on. As for the money, I worked my backside off in dead end, underpaid jobs to send myself to college. All the money your fathers gave me for having you is in a trust fund for you. You'll get it all on your 18th birthday, I haven't had a single cent from it, I'm not sure how much is in there now but its all yours sweetheart."

"You've always loved me?"

"From the second I knew you existed. I've loved you so much."

"Why, why didn't you have any more children?"

"I thought about it" Shelby was honest, "but I knew no matter how many other children I had, They'd never be you." Rachel's stomach rumbled and Shelby was slightly glad of the interruption to the conversation, "come on" she kissed Rachel's head, "let's go get some breakfast.

Rachel rolled off Shelby and Shelby stood from the bed, stretching her arms above her head as she did so. She managed to stifle a groan of pain but she didn't notice the top of her pyjamas ride up showing Rachel the beginnings of a large bruise on her stomach, "what, what's that?" Rachel asked slowly.

"Nothing" Shelby quickly pulled her shirt back down, "it's nothing."

Rachel quickly put two and two together, "did, did I do that?" her voice shook and her eyes filled with tears, "oh God, I'm sorry" she whimpered, curling herself into a ball, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." She closed her eyes as she waited for Shelby to hit her, she'd blown it now, she'd never physically injured either of her fathers so she could only imagine what Shelby was going to do to her, she couldn't shut her in the basement, maybe she had a garage or a cupboard or something, or maybe Shelby would jut throw her out, there was no way she'd let her stay now. Rachel could already feel the sting in her backside even though Shelby hadn't hit her yet. She felt the bed dip beside her and braced herself, she jumped in shock when she felt a soft hand gently wipe away her tears.

"Hey, it's okay." Rachel felt Shelby lift her from the bed and expected to be placed over Shelby's lap for a spanking but instead found herself cradled in her mother's arms the way she had so many times over the past few days. "Calm down baby, you're okay."

"I, I hurt you" Rachel whispered, "I bruised you and, and I was laying on it, you must have been in so much pain, I, I'm sorry. Are you going to punish me now or later? I shouldn't have asked you that I'm sorry".

Rachel as getting hysterical and Shelby knew she needed to calm her down before she had a full blown panic attack, "Calm down baby, deep breaths, come on, you're okay" she rubbed Rachel's back and kept her own breathing steady, encouraging Rachel to match it until she finally calmed down slightly, "I'm not going to punish you for this Rachel so you can stop worrying."

"But I hurt you, I hurt you, I deserve to be punished."

"Did you do it on purpose?" Shelby asked and Rachel shook her head. "There we are then. You didn't even know you'd done it until you saw the bruise just then. You were having a nightmare, you didn't mean to hurt me. Sure, if we'd have been arguing and you'd have lashed out in anger then yes I'd probably have punished you but you didn't. You were scared baby and you obviously thought I was someone else."

"You let me sleep on you."

"Yeah"

"So I hurt you and then you let me hurt you again."

Shelby sighed, "Baby it broke my heart to see you fighting whatever you were fighting last night, when I woke up and you were sleeping on me, it was the most peaceful I've ever seen you, I was so happy to see you happy and relaxed that I didn't even think about my stomach, and it doesn't even hurt that much" she lied, "I'll take a couple of painkillers after breakfast and I'll be as good as new." She knew Rachel wasn't convinced, "it's just a bruise darling, nothing life threatening. I'm not worried so you don't need to be either." Shelby rocked Rachel until she'd finally calmed down and she knew she'd have to keep a close eye on the girl. A quick glance downwards and Shelby noticed Rachel had cried herself to sleep, "oh baby" Shelby sighed kissing her head, "I'm never going to hurt you." Shelby's own stomach rumbled and she carefully lifted Rachel into her arms, carrying her down the stairs before laying her on the sofa and covering her with a blanket.

When Rachel woke again it was almost lunch time and she was laid on the sofa with her head in Shelby's lap, "I'm sorry" she mumbled.

"You've got nothing to be sorry for" Shelby said sincerely, "do you want something to eat now?"

Rachel shook her head, "I don't deserve anything" she said so quietly Shelby almost didn't hear her.

"Rachel, look at me" Rachel twisted slightly so she could look at Shelby, "I'm not going to punish you for this so please, please don't feel like you need to punish yourself. Even if I was going to punish you I wouldn't do it by taking away your food, you don't have to 'earn' meals. I'd like you to eat something baby but if you don't feel up to eating I'd like you to have a protein shake or a smoothie or something so you don't get sick." Rachel didn't say anything, "will you try and eat something?"

"I, I don't think I can" Rachel said truthfully, her stomach was in knots and she was certain if she ate anything she'd just vomit it straight back up again.

"Okay" Shelby ran her fingers through Rachel's hair, "I'm going to make you a smoothie for now. Will you tell me if you get hungry?" Rachel nodded even though she knew she wouldn't, her fathers had taught her long ago that she should never ask for anything, if someone wanted her to have something they'd give it her.

Shelby smiled at Rachel as she placed the smoothie on the coffee table in front of Rachel, "here you go" she held a spoon out to Rachel, "it's quite thick so I bought you a spoon."

"Thank you" Rachel whispered, her dark hair falling forward to hide her face as she took the spoon from her mother."

"It's okay" Shelby brushed back Rachel's hair to kiss her daughter's forehead, "I'm going to tidy my breakfast things away, call me if you need anything." Rachel couldn't look Shelby in the eye so Shelby sat on the edge of the coffee table. "I mean it darling, anything." She sighed as she got no response, "I love you baby, whatever you might be thinking right now I love you and I'm not angry with you. You are more than welcome to eat that in the kitchen while I tidy things up but you are equally as welcome to eat it in here." Rachel nodded, "I'll just be in the kitchen baby. I love you" she repeated, kissing Rachel again before standing from the table and walking to the kitchen. Today was going to be a long day.


	8. Chapter 8

**Saviour **- What if the men Shelby gave her baby to hadn't been the loving parents she thought they would be

**Rating** - T

**Characters** - Shelby & Rachel

**A/N -**Xanidoo, you mentioned in your review that you'd like to see how Shelby would punish Rachel, right now I can't see Rachel doing anything that would cause Shelby to punish her so I've worked it in in another way, I hope you like it.

This is the last chapter I had (mostly) written so updates are probably going to slow down a little, but I'm going to aim to update once a week.

* * *

Shelby sighed as her phone began to ring on the coffee table a little after three, Rachel had hardly said two words to her since that morning and, as she sat, curled into her self in the armchair, it was as if the girl wasn't allowing herself to seek out the comfort she knew only her mother could give her, "Hey" Shelby answered the phone as she saw her sister's name flashing up on the screen, "what's up?" Shelby left the room to speak to her sister and sighed when she entered the room a while later to find Rachel still curled into the armchair staring into space, "Rach, Rachel baby, can we talk?" she sat on the edge of the coffee table, "that was my sister Amy on the phone, her son's had an asthma attack, he's fine but she wants to take him to the hospital to get him checked over, she wanted to know if I'd watch my niece. I told her you were here and I'd have to make sure you were okay with it. If not I said we'd drop her off at my Mom's."

"What, what are they called?"

"Her son is called Max, he's five, almost six and her daughter is Lily, she just turned three a couple of weeks ago."

Rachel nodded, "okay".

"Are you okay with her coming over? Shelby asked, "I don't mind taking her to my Mom's and Amy said she'd understand if you'd rather not have her bugging you."

"No, it's okay" Rachel said quietly, "she can come over" of course she could, she was Shelby's family, she couldn't ask Shelby to send them away just because she was there.

"Okay" Shelby leant forward and placed her hand on Rachel's knee, "can we put an end to all this now please. I can't sit watching you hate yourself any longer. I'm not going to punish you for what happened and I think you've punished yourself enough. We've got about twenty minutes until Amy gets here with Lily and I'd like to spend it holding you."

"I'm sorry" Rachel whispered.

"It's okay" Shelby pulled Rachel from the armchair and sat in it herself before pulling Rachel back down onto her lap, "it's okay baby, it happened we've dealt with it and it's over. Let's just put it behind us and move on."

By the time Shelby's sister arrived Rachel had once again cried herself to sleep in Shelby's arms. Shelby laid the sleeping girl on the sofa when she heard Amy open the front door, praying she could warn them that Rachel was sleeping before they woke her.

"Hey" Amy greeted her older sister, "thanks for doing this" she passed the toddler and a bag over to Shelby, "I'm hoping we won't have to stay in but I've packed her some pyjamas, a pull up and a bottle just in case. I'll ring you when I know what's happening."

"Okay" Shelby smiled, "I'd introduce you to Rachel but she's sleeping, it's been a tough day."

"Oh God" Amy sighed, "what happened? Are you sure you're going to be okay with Lil? I can take her to Mom's if you'd rather."

"Rachel has nightmares" Shelby told Amy, "last night was the worst so far, I, I couldn't wake her" Shelby felt her eyes fill with tears, "I couldn't wake her so I got in bed with her to try and calm her down, I was holding her, she was obviously fighting something, and, well" Shelby shifted Lily slightly so she could lift her shirt up and show Amy the bruise, "I wasn't going to tell her, but she saw it. I told her I wouldn't punish her but it's like she felt like she needed to punish herself. I don't know, I do know, oh Amy, they were so terrible to her."

"Oh Shel" Amy sighed, pulling her sister into a half hug, "you've got her now though, that's what matters."

"I know" Shelby used her free hand to wipe at her eyes, "I just wish I had her all along."

It was then that Lily noticed Shelby's tears and reached out to help wipe them away, "No be sad An'Lelly"

"I'm okay Munchkin" Shelby forced a smile, "I'm okay?"

"Can I see her?" Amy asked, "I promise I won't be long, Maxie's waiting in the car."

Shelby thought for a second before nodding, "okay. She's in here" Shelby carried Lily into the living room where Rachel was asleep on the sofa.

"Oh my God" Amy gasped as she followed her sister into the room, "she's your double, she's tiny though, how old did you say she was?"

"She's fifteen a week before Christmas."

"Poor thing" Amy sighed, "I'm sure living here will do her the world of good, you'll be so good with her Shelly, you're great with all our kids, and I know Rachel's a little older but, she'll love you, she's a lucky girl to have you."

"Thanks" Shelby smiled, "mentally, she's still so young, she's begging for someone to love her. All I seem to do is hold her."

"If that's what she needs Shell...She's probably never had someone just sit and hold her. I really wish I could stay and tell you how great you're doing, but Max..."

"I understand, go, we'll be fine."

"Okay" Amy smiled, "I'll call you when we've seen the doctor, and you can call me whenever okay. You were there for me when I had my kids, I plan on being here now you've got yours. I love you" She kissed Shelby's cheek before leaning over and kissing her daughter, "Mommy loves you Munchkin, be good for Aunty Lelby"

"Say bye to Mommy" Shelby prompted and Lily smiled.

"Bye Mumma" she waved before blowing a kiss, "'love 'oo"

"Love you too" Amy smiled blowing Lily one final kiss before leaving the house.

Lily was laid on the floor, on her stomach, scribbling on some paper Shelby had given her when Rachel woke, "Hey sleepyhead" Shelby smiled and ran her hands through Rachel's hair, "are you feeling better?"

Rachel nodded, "I'm sorry, about earlier."

"Hey" Shelby kissed Rachel's forehead, "it's okay. Are you hungry? It's been a while since you ate."

"I hung'y An'Lelly" Lily spoke up, something that bought tears to Shelby's eyes, Lily had just turned three but already she knew that whatever she needed, all she had to do was ask and someone would get it for her. Rachel could be starving hungry and she wouldn't dare ask for so much as a glass of water.

"Are you darling?" Shelby asked Lily, "how about you come over and say hi to Rachel then we'll all go have a snack, it's too early to have dinner just yet."

Lily nodded and scribbled on her paper for a couple more seconds before she stood up with her picture in her hand, "for you" she said, uncharacteristically shyly as she held out the paper towards Rachel.

Rachel took the drawing, to her it was just coloured scribbles, but even though she'd never been around small children, she knew to Lily this was a masterpiece, "Thank you" she smiled back, "it's beautiful."

Lily smiled, "Come on Rae, is snack time" she reached for Rachel's hand and pulled her from the sofa, leading her to the kitchen, "An'Lelly" Lilly called, "come on, snack time." Shelby smiled as she followed the girls into the kitchen, maybe having Lily around for a while would be good for Rachel.

"Okay, what do you want?" Shelby asked as she walked into the kitchen and opened a cupboard, wondering what she could give the girls that wouldn't fill them up so much they wouldn't eat later. Both Rachel and Lily were already sat at the table, something Shelby assumed was down to Lily.

"I want apple An'Lelly" Lily said decisively.

"Magic word?" Shelby asked as she raised an eyebrow.

"P'ease An'Lelly, p'ease." Lily said with a cheeky smile

"Okay" Shelby grabbed an apple from the fruit bowl on the side, that was easy, now for the hard part, "what do you want Rach?"

"I, I don't..."

Shelby wasn't going to let Rachel say she wasn't hungry so she didn't let her finish, "would you like some fruit too? Or a yoghurt, or would you prefer something savoury?"

"I don't know" Rachel whispered.

"There's some pineapple left, we could share that if you wanted?"

"Okay" Rachel nodded, "thank you."

"It's okay" she said with a smile, taking the small plastic tub of pineapple out of the fridge and passing it to Rachel.

"An'Lelly, I no like Nineapple."

"I know you don't" Shelby said with a smile, "that's why I'm just about to cut you this apple up."

"Thank you An'Lelly" Lily grinned as Shelby placed the apple in front of her before sitting beside Rachel and eating a chunk of pineapple. She watched both girls for a while and it broke her heart, Lily happily ate her apple slices, singing quietly to herself between bites and Shelby could tell her legs would be swinging softly under the table. Rachel however looked terrified, she sat stiffly and she ate only occasionally. Lily was the child she'd always hoped Rachel would be, she was happy, carefree and a little bit cheeky. Shelby couldn't believe how wrong she'd been.

"I done" Lily said with a smile once she'd eaten all her apple.

"Okay" Shelby smiled, and pushed the last piece of pineapple over to Rachel, "let's wash your hands then you can go play."

"Rae play too?" Lily asked as Shelby lifted her up to watch her hands at the kitchen sink.

"I don't know" Shelby said as she stood Lily on the floor and passed her a towel to dry her hands on, "you'll have to ask Rachel if she wants to play with you"

"Play with me?" Lily walked slowly over to Rachel, "p'ease"

Rachel looked at Shelby and the woman smiled at her daughter, she wouldn't force her, "how about I get your blocks out?" Shelby suggested, "we can all play together"

Lily's face lit up, "Will you Rae?"

Rachel nodded, slightly reassured by the fact that Shelby wouldn't leave her alone with Lily, "Okay, I just need to wash my hands."

"Lily and I will go get her blocks, we'll be in the living room when you're done". Shelby was Amy's go to babysitter so she had toys for both Max and Lily in the cupboard under the stairs, "Here we go" she pulled out the two boxes of megablox, a red one that Max had now decided he was too old for, and a pink one She had bought for Lily, "do you want anything else out?" Shelby asked, "or just the blocks?"

Lily frowned for a moment before smiling and reaching into the big pink box her toys were kept in, "Dolly" she grinned, pulling out a large rag doll and hugging it tightly.

Rachel, Shelby, Lily and Dolly played happily for over an hour before Shelby announced she was going to make a start on dinner, she left Rachel with Lily but only after promising her daughter that she wouldn't be gone long. When she returned, Rachel was sat cross legged on the floor and Lily was sat on her lap. Shelby could tell Lily was tired, she'd stopped playing with the blocks and was chatting to Rachel, holding Dolly to her chest.

"Dinner will be about twenty minutes" Shelby smiled as she made her presence known in the room, "and then I think it's time for someone to lie down for a little bit" she ruffled Lily's hair, "did you have a nap this afternoon?

Lily shook her head, "no"

"Are you tired?" Lily nodded, "We'll have dinner and then you can lie down for a little bit okay?"

Lily nodded, "I have my milk?"

Shelby shook her head, "you only have your milk at bed time Lil, you know that, you can have some regular milk though, or some juice."

Lily nodded, "okay"

Shelby was just about to put dinner onto plates when her phone rang again, "That was Amy" Shelby told Rachel, "Max had another asthma attack while they were waiting to see a doctor, he's fine but they said his chest still sounds a bit wheezy so they're going to keep him in over night just as a precaution, her husband Jimmy's on his way but he works in Chicago so he probably won't get here until the early hours. Are you okay if Lily stays here tonight and Jimmy picks her up in the morning? If you're not 100% comfortable baby then that's fine, I can take her over to my Mom's and Jim can pick her up from there."

Rachel shook her head "No, it's fine."

"Are you sure?"

Rachel nodded, "she's here already, and she's tired, it makes sense for her to sleep here."

"Okay" Shelby kissed Rachel's head, "I'm just about to put dinner out, would you mind getting Lily for me?"

Rachel shook her head, "what, what's for dinner?" she asked quietly.

"Nothing special" Shelby smiled, "just pasta and some vegetables."

"Okay" Rachel smiled slightly, "I'll go get Lily."

"Your Momma called me Lily" Shelby said as she watched the young girl pick sleepily at her pasta, "Max has to stay at the hospital tonight so you're going to sleep here and Daddy's going to get you in the morning."

Rachel had to blink back tears as she saw Lily's face light up at the mention of her father, "Daddy's coming?"

"Yeah" Shelby nodded, "he's on his way now but he wont get here til late so you're going to sleep here and he'll come get you in the morning."

"I'm sleepy now An'Lelly"

"I know you are" Shelby smiled softly, "finish your dinner and you can have a bath and go to bed, Momma left a bottle for you just in case."

"My milk?"

"Yeah" Shelby nodded, "your milk." Shelby saw Rachel frown at the mention of Lily's milk, she remembered Shelby calling milk 'regular milk' earlier and she wondered what was so special about the milk in Lily's bottle. "I'll explain later" she whispered in her daughter's ear.

Rachel nodded before looking at her plate, "I don't think I can eat any more, I'm, I'm sorry"

"It's okay" Shelby noted that Rachel had eaten even less than Lily had, "do you want to go watch a movie or something? I'm going to give Lily a bath when she's done, get her in bed so I an spend an hour or two with you before we go to bed."

"Yeah" Rachel sighed sadly as she stood and placed her plate in the dishwasher, "okay." She didn't really want to watch a dvd, she'd much rather stay with Shelby but Shelby had Lily to look after, Rachel needed to look after herself.

Rachel was sat in front of the tv, not really paying any attention to what was playing when Shelby's phone began to vibrate on the table and Rachel cautiously carried it up the stairs to where Shelby was bathing Lily, "your phone's ringing" she said quietly, "it erm, it says it's your Mom."

"Thanks" Shelby took the phone from Rachel, "can you watch Lily for a minute, I'll be back soon."

Shelby left the bathroom to talk to her Mom and Rachel knelt down by the bath where Lily was playing amongst the bubbles with a rubber duck and a yellow plastic boat, "Rae play" she handed Rachel the duck, "quack quack!" Lilly reached under the bubbles and frowned slightly before smiling and lifting out a frog, splashing Rachel with warm water and bubbles in the process, "wibbit."

Rachel smiled, "quack quack" she bounced the duck gently on the water before tapping it softly on Lily's nose causing the young girl to giggle loudly, neither girl noticing that Shelby had finished on the phone and was stood in the doorway.

She watched them play for a while before walking over to them and running her hands through Rachel's hair, "I'm back, you can go back downstairs if you like" Rachel leant her head against Shelby's leg, "or you can stay up here, I don't mind, Lily seems to love you" she knelt down beside her daughter and Lily was quick to pass her the boat. "My mom wanted to know how Lily was doing" she told Rachel as she splashed the boat about in the water to entertain Lily, "I told her you were here. She wanted to know why I hadn't told her already" she saw Rachel's face fall, "I'm not ashamed of you or anything, just so you know. My Mom can just be a little" she searched for the right word, "overwhelming sometimes. I told her that I wanted you to get settled in here before I introduced you to everyone, and I really just want to spend some time just the two of us for a while too. She understood and suggested we all go round for dinner on boxing day. I said I'd ask you first, I usually go round for Christmas but I'd like us to spend our first Christmas together together, without all the kids and my crazy parents causing chaos."

Rachel nodded, "that, that sounds good" she paused for a moment before asking, "how many nieces and nephews have you got?"

"Well Amy's just got Max and Lily but I don't think it'll be long before she's got a third one on the way, Luke's got three children, Holly, Jade and Rhys, Holly's 4, Jade's 2 and Rhys is" she thought for a minute "7 months. And Matt" she laughed, "Matt's got six kids. They had three boys, Alex, Henry and Sam after they had Sam they decided they'd have one last baby, they wanted a girl, but, to cut a long story short they ended up having IVF and well, seven months later they had triplets, three girls, Edie, Cora and Phoebe. So that makes" Shelby counted on her fingers, "eleven" Rachel's shocked face caused Shelby to laugh and kiss her forehead, "welcome to the crazy! But seriously baby, if you feel overwhelmed by it all then you just have to say and we can leave" she kissed Rachel again before turning her attention back to Lily, "come on Munchkin, lets get you out before you turn into a prune."

Rachel was like Shelby's shadow as she dressed Lily in her pyjamas and got her settled in Rachel's bed, "if Lily's in my bed, where will I sleep?" Rachel asked after Shelby had read to Lily and they'd left the young girl to fall asleep.

"I thought we agreed last night" Shelby frowned, "that you'd sleep with me for a while to see if it helps your nightmares."

"But, but, I hurt you."

"That doesn't matter darling, you need to get a good night's sleep and it seems like you don't get that if you sleep alone. I'm not going to force you into sleeping on your own just because you accidentally caught me while you were having a nightmare. If you don't want to share with me then that's a different matter, I'll move Lily in with me and you can have your own bed back, it's your decision, but please baby, please don't force yourself to sleep alone because you think it's what you deserve."

Rachel couldn't look Shelby in the eye, "can, can I sleep in with you?"

"Of course you can, do you want to watch some tv or something or do you want to get in bed and watch a dvd?"

"I don't mind" Rachel said truthfully, no matter what was on she never seemed to be able to concentrate.

"How about we go downstairs, we can snuggle on the sofa whilst we watch something, I think there's some ice cream in the freezer too if you fancy it."

Rachel smiled, "that sounds good."

"Earlier" Shelby spoke softly as they laid together on the sofa, Shelby in the recliner, Rachel's head in her lap, "you were wondering about Lily's milk.

"I, I shouldn't have, it's none of my business"

"It doesn't matter, it's not some big secret, Amy would tell you herself, she breastfed Lily and Max, Max weaned himself almost as soon as he started walking, like he'd discovered how many other, more interesting things there were, but Lily, nothing Amy tried would get Lily to wean so she still feeds her, she expresses a bottle for her to have before her nap and then she nurses at night, but obviously Amy's not here tonight so she sent her with a bottle."

"Oh"

Shelby smiled, "don't feel like you need to keep it to yourself, everyone in the family knows and no one minds, it's not a secret, Amy says she'll only be worried if Lil still wants to nurse once she's at school. Max doesn't mind either, Amy, and Jim when he's home, make sure to spend some time with him too so he doesn't feel like he's missing out."

"Okay."

"Is there anything else you want to talk about?" Shelby ran her fingers through Rachel's hair as the girl shook her head, "are you sure darling? You don't seem yourself tonight."

"I'm okay" Rachel whispered, "just tired I guess."

"You should have said, we could have gone to bed."

"I sleep too much" Rachel sighed.

"You can have as much sleep as you need baby, no one's going to stop you sleeping if you're tired, come on, let's go get settled upstairs."

Rachel was already awake the next morning when, just after 6am Lily pushed open the door to Shelby's room, a toy giraffe hanging from her right hand "hey" Rachel whispered softly so she didn't wake Shelby, "are you okay?"

"'m tired" Lily mumbled as she rubbed her eyes sleepily, "wan' An'Lelly".

Rachel lifted the corner of the duvet, "An'Lelly's sleeping" she told Lily, "but you can get in here" she said. She had no idea if she was allowed to let Lily in the bed, but she couldn't turn the small girl a away and Shelby didn't seem to mind sharing her bed with her daughter, so Rachel figured she wouldn't mind sharing it with her niece too.

"T'ank you" Lily grinned sleepily as she snuggled into Rachel, "love 'oo".

Rachel smiled, sometimes she felt like Shelby loved her because she had to, but this was different, Lily was three years old, Rachel doubted she'd be able to fake it. "I love you too Lily." She ran her fingers through Lily's messy hair the way Shelby had done to her so many times, "close your eyes and get some sleep."

Lily nodded into Rachel's chest, "'m tired Rae."

"Go to sleep then."

"and you sleep."

"Yeah" Rachel nodded "I'll sleep too"

Rachel tried to sleep, but half an hour later, when Lily kicked her in the ribs for the ninth time, she sighed and climbed over the toddler, pausing to make sure she hadn't woken Shelby before leaving the room and laying on her own bed.

"Are you okay?" Rachel jumped at the sound of her mother's voice and as she rolled over to face the door she could tell Shelby was still half asleep.

"Yeah" Rachel bit her bottom lip, "I'm fine."

"No you're not" Shelby said as she moved to sit on the edge of the bed, "when I fell asleep Lily was in here and you were in with me, but now you're in here and Lily's in my bed."

"She came in, she said she was tired and she wanted you but you were sleeping" Rachel explained, "so I let her get in, I'm sorry, I shouldn't, I know I should have asked you but I didn't want to wake you."

"Hey" Shelby reached out to wipe away the lone tear that had rolled down Rachel's cheek, "I don't mind Lily being in my bed, but why are you in here?"

"I couldn't sleep" she said truthfully.

"Was Lily's fidgeting keeping you awake? I know it can be like sharing a bad with a worm sometimes."

"Yeah" Rachel couldn't look Shelby in the eye, "she is a bit wriggly."

Shelby frowned, she could tell something else was on Rachel's mind, "What's wrong beautiful?" she asked, "and please don't say nothing because I can tell there's something worrying you."

Rachel sighed, "can I ask you something?"

Shelby nodded, "of course, anything."

"Please, please don't be angry."

"I won't baby. What do you want to ask me?"

"Yesterday, after I" she gestured to Shelby's stomach, "you said if I'd hurt you on purpose you'd punish me."

"Yeah" Shelby frowned.

"How, how would you do it?"

"How would I punish you?" Shelby clarified. Rachel nodded, "I guess that depends on what you did. I will never, never hit you though, my parents never spanked me and I think I grew up okay. We'd sit down first I think, talk about what you did, why you did it, I'd like to think we'd be able to find a way to stop it ever happening again. I'd maybe take away your cellphone or your laptop for a couple of days, I don't know." Shelby thought for a minute, "you said your dads spanked you if you didn't get A grades?" Rachel nodded, "and I've already told you all I expect is for you to try your best, but if I found out you'd missed an assignment or handed some work in late you'd have to come straight home after school and do your homework as soon as you got in, but if you're struggling then please tell me. I can't help you if I don't know you need help."

"What if I need a spanking?" Rachel asked.

"You won't" Shelby said instantly, "I'm nearing 40 and neither of my parents have ever spanked me and I will never spank you. I don't think anything you could ever do would make me want to hit you so please stop worrying about it because it won't happen."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be" Shelby kissed Rachel's head, "I'm glad you felt like you could talk to me about it." Rachel yawned and Shelby smiled, "come on" she held out her hand, "lets go get some more sleep before Lily wakes up, I'll sleep in the middle, protect you from the worm."

Rachel smiled and allowed Shelby to help her from the bed, "Mom" she whispered softly right before they walked into Shelby's room, waiting for Shelby to turn and face her before whispering, "I love you."

"Oh baby" Shelby kissed Rachel's forehead and pulled her into a hug, "I love you too darling, I always have and I always will."


	9. Chapter 9

**Saviour **- What if the men Shelby gave her baby to hadn't been the loving parents she thought they would be

**Rating** - T

**Characters** - Shelby & Rachel

**A/N -** Lyrics in italics are from 'Lullaby' by Ronan Keating, you should look it up on youtube if you've not heard it, it's beautiful.

* * *

"Knock knock" Jimmy called loudly as he walked into Shelby's house.

"Dadda" Lily screeched as she flew from where she sat watching cartoons with Shelby, she grinned as she saw him in the hallway and jumped into his open arms.

"Hey beautiful" Jim smiled, hugging Lily tightly and kissing her hair, "have you been good for Auntie Lelby?" Lily nodded and Jim smiled up at Shelby as she walked into the hallway, "hey" he kissed her on both cheeks, "thanks for having her, was she okay?"

"Of course she was, she always is."

Jim laughed, "yeah, right."

Rachel watched from the top of the stairs as a man she assumed to be Amy's husband spoke to Shelby, Lily sitting quietly on his hip, "hows Max?" Shelby asked.

"He's fine, Amy rang me just before I came over. They put him on the nebuliser just after he was admitted and gave him some oxygen but he's been fine since, the doctor does his rounds at 11 and he'll be discharged once he's had a final check over. They should be home by lunch time." He lowered his voice, "I think she wants to come over to see you, she's worried about you.

Shelby smiled and shook her head, "she doesn't need to be, I'm fine, she should be home with Lily and Max, tell her I'll call her though." She glanced up the stairs and saw Rachel standing shyly on the top step, "come say hello honey" she held out her hand and allowed Rachel to cuddle into her as soon as she was within reach, "this is Jimmy, Amy's husband, Jim, this is Rachel my daughter."

Jimmy saw Shelby's face light up as she called Rachel her daughter and he couldn't help but smile too, "Amy said she looked like you Shell but I had no idea, are you sure she's not your sister?"

Shelby laughed and squeezed Rachel gently, "I was in labour for three days, I think I can safely say she's my daughter."

Jimmy smiled, "well it's great to meet you Rachel.

"Its a pleasure to meet you too Sir" Rachel said politely, unable to look him in the eye.

Amy had told Jim what Shelby had told her about Rachel's past so he spoke softly to her, "you don't need to call me sir" he told her, "Jim or Jimmy's fine."

"Dadda" Lily lifted her head from Jim's shoulder so she could get his attention, "Rae my f'end".

"Is she? He asked with a smile, "I hope you were nice to her."

Lily nodded, "we play and she sleep in An'Lely's bed with me."

"I bet she didn't get much sleep once you were there, you're full of wriggles" he said as he tickled Lily's ribs.

They stood chatting for a while before Amy rang Jim to say Max had been discharged and they were on their way home. Lily insisted on giving Rachel a huge hug and kiss before she'd leave and Shelby knew Rachel had made a firm friend in her young niece.

"Shelby Corcoran" Shelby answered the house phone as it began to ring later that afternoon, Rachel had once again fallen asleep on the sofa after lunch and Shelby was quick to answer the phone before it woke the sleeping girl.

"Ms Corcoran, it's Anne Jackson, the social worker, we spoke earlier in the week."

"Oh, hi, is everything okay?"

"Everything's fine, I know we have an appointment set up for tomorrow but I'm going to be in your area in a little while and I wondered if it would be convenient for me to stop by, I have a couple of papers I need your signature on and the sooner they get signed the sooner we can get the custody ball rolling."

Shelby smiled to herself, her solicitor had warned her that the social worker may drop by with very little notice, but she had nothing to hide, "sure, we'll be in all afternoon, do you have a rough idea of what time you'll be here, Rachel has just fallen asleep and I don't want to wake her too soon, she needs to rest."

"I could be with you for three" the social worker suggested.

Shelby looked at her watch, it was just after one, she could let Rachel sleep for an hour and half before waking her with enough time to freshen up before the visit, "three would be fine".

"Brilliant, well I look forward to meeting you then."

Shelby said her goodbyes before hanging up the phone, and going to tidy up a few things. She woke Rachel just over an hour later, kissing her forehead before shaking her softly, "Rachel baby, it's time to wake up."

"Momma" Rachel whimpered as she spoke, "what..."

"The social worker called while you were asleep" Shelby explained as she sat on the edge of the coffee table, "she's coming over at three, it's a little before 2.30, I thought you'd like some time to wake up before she got here.

Rachel sat up slowly and rubbed at her eyes, "why, what, what if they take me away?"

Shelby moved to sit beside Rachel and hugged her tightly, "no one is going to take you anywhere darling, "all the social worker will be doing is making sure that you're happy and safe here and that I'm able to support you, not only financially but emotionally and physically and I know that I'm more than capable of doing that, you're safe here and I think once you allow yourself, you'll be happy here too."

Rachel nodded, she knew her mother was right but she was still terrified.

After the social worker introduced herself to Shelby and Rachel she spoke to Shelby for a while, Shelby explained how she'd resigned but had plenty of money in savings to ensure she and Rachel could live comfortably before she explained, once again, how Rachel ended up in her care

"So Rachel" The social worker turned her attention to the girl a while later, "how about you show me where you're sleeping?" She needed to see that Rachel had an appropriate place to sleep, and she frowned when she saw Rachel shoot a scared glance at Shelby and the pair seemed to communicate silently for a while before she spoke up, "does someone want to tell me what's going on?"

"Rachel has her own room" Shelby spoke, "but she has nightmares when she sleeps alone, I've booked her an appointment for a therapist, but in the mean time she's been sleeping in with me ."

"Okay" the social worker nodded and wrote something down on her notepad, "when are you seeing the therapist?" she asked Rachel, trying to engage the young girl in conversation.

Rachel looked at Shelby and the elder woman nodded, trying to encourage Rachel to speak, "next week" she whispered, "Thursday I think" she looked to Shelby again and Shelby nodded.

"Next Thursday at 4pm, the therapist was recommended by the patrician, that was the first free appointment I could get for her."

The social worker once again scribbled something in her notebook before she spoke again, "well how about you show me your room Rachel?"

Rachel hesitated and Shelby didn't even ask why, "I'll wait right here for you darling, I won't move from this sofa."

"Promise?" Rachel whispered quietly.

Shelby kissed Rachel's forehead, "I promise you daring that I will be right here when you come back."

Once they were in Rachel's room Anne sat on the bed with Rachel, "how do you feel about living here?" she asked.

"I, I like it" Rachel said quietly, focusing on her hands and not the woman sat beside her, "I've not know my mom for long but she seems really nice, she holds me and doesn't shout at me wehn I cry, she says she'll never hit me, she didn't even get mad when I hurt her."

Anne frowned, "how did you hurt her?"

"I kicked her in the stomach" Rachel looked ashamed, "I was having a nightmare and she was trying to calm me down but I kicked her."

"Was it an accident?"

Rachel nodded, "I didn't, she wasn't going to tell me but she stretched and I saw the bruise. She said I shouldn't worry about it but, she's been so kind to me and I hurt her."

"It was an accident Rachel, and if your mom isn't worried about it then I don't think you need to worry either."

They spoke for a while and Anne asked Rachel several questions about her fathers, "I'm sorry" Rachel whispered as tears began to roll down her cheeks, "I can't...I'm sorry"

"It's okay" Anne smiled sadly she'd already seen the police report, there was no need for her to push the girl too far, "how about we go back down to your Mom?"

Rachel nodded and Shelby wrapped her in her arms as soon as she saw the girl, "Oh darling" She held Rachel on her lap rocking her slowly to comfort her as she spoke to Anne.

Anne could see the love in Shelby's eyes as she tried to soothe the girl and she knew she would have no doubts about signing Rachel into Shelby's care, she'd been in her job for longer than she cared to remember, she'd seen families who acted like everything was perfect, parents pretending they hadn't beaten their kids black and blue, right through to parents who loved their children with all their hearts, parents who wanted nothing but the best for her children and she was sure Shelby was one of the latter, "That's everything for now" she told both mother and daughter, Shelby I just need your signature on a couple of papers to make everything official."

"Rachel baby" Shelby wiped at Rachel's tears, "I need to sign a couple of things, can you sit beside me for a minute?" Rachel nodded and slipped to the seat beside Shelby, who took the pen from Anne in her right hand, leaving her left firmly entwined with Rachel's.

Shelby had no idea how she was going to cope when Rachel went back to school, she hated leaving her side, she'd taken a shower that evening, the fastest shower she'd ever had, just because she didn't want to be away from Rachel for too long. Usually she'd shower in the morning but she didn't want Rachel to wake alone, she never wanted the girl to think another of her parents had left.

It wasn't even 9 when Shelby climbed into her bed beside Rachel who was already snuggled up in the duvet reading a book from Shelby's book case, "what are you reading?" she asked as she tried to see the well worn cover, slightly hidden by the sheets.

"The Railway Children."

Shelby smiled, "I love that book, I think it's one of my favourites."

Rachel returned the smile, "I, that's why I chose it" she admitted, "it looked like it had been read more than the rest."

"I'm surprised it's not fallen apart" Shelby smiled as she felt Rachel lean into her, "do you like reading?"

Rachel nodded, "I used to spend a lot of my lunchtimes in the library, I didn't, I couldn't take them home."

"Well" Shelby kissed Rachel's head and wrapped an arm around her shoulder, "tomorrow we can go online and order a book case for your bedroom and then we can start looking for some books to fill it with. If you enjoy that" Shelby gestured to the book in Rachel's hands, "I'll buy you your own copy."

Rachel shook her head, "no, no, you can't do that, you've already done too much."

Shelby kissed Rachel again, "it's a couple of books baby, if you enjoy reading I'll buy you books, it's no problem, I don't mind."

"You, I, you've already bought me so much".

"Oh darling" Shelby sighed, "if I'd have been in your life from the beginning I'd have spent a lot more on you than I have these past few days. From now on you're going to have everything you need and probably everything you want, now get reading that book, I want to tell you all my favourite parts without worrying that you've not read that far yet" she smiled.

"What are you going to do while I'm reading?" Rachel asked shyly, "we can just go to sleep if you want."

Shelby shook her head, "if you want to read a little while longer then I'm happy just to sit here snuggling with my daughter, as long as you're not up until 3am reading then I'm okay for you to stay up for a while longer." Rachel read for almost half an hour before closing the book and placing it beside the bed, "done?" Shelby asked. Rachel nodded and Shelby flicked off the light, "good night darling."

They lied in silence for a while before Rachel spoke, "Will you, will you tell me?" she asked softly as she laid against Shelby in the dark, "about the day I was born? My, my fathers never liked talking about you" she admitted almost silently, "I asked about you once when I was younger, that, that was when daddy first used his belt."

"Oh baby" Shelby sighed, pulling Rachel towards her and kissing her forehead, "I'm so sorry." She was glad that, even though they'd lived together for less than a week, Rachel was slowly beginning to open up to her, even if she did hate the things she heard.

"I think they hated that I looked like you and not either of them" Rachel thought out loud, "maybe then they might have loved me."

"I know its awful darling, but if they hadn't treated you so badly I might never have gotten to meet you. I know you might not see it now, but one day you will, everything they did to you will only make you a stronger person in the long run". Rachel sighed but said nothing so Shelby took that as her cue to begin the story Rachel wanted to hear, "it was a horrible winter, I'd been feeling a little off for a few days but I couldn't really put my finger on what wasn't right. Your fathers and I were watching a movie when the snow took the power out. Hiram lit some candles and Leroy bought some blankets downstairs along with a wind up radio they had, the weather forecast predicted nothing but snow for over a week and I started to worry we wouldn't make it to the hospital. I woke up that night and I was so ill I honestly didn't think I'd ever leave the bathroom. To put it politely I was sat on the toilet being sick in the bath, but we'd had curry for dinner, we thought it might hurry you up, so I just assumed that had made me ill, I finally managed to fall asleep again and when I woke up I was having contractions. I told Hiram and Leroy and Leroy called the hospital, even though my contractions weren't all that regular, they said with the weather I should probably try and make my way in. We'd done practice runs and the most it had ever taken us to get to the hospital was 45 minutes but it took us over three hours. By the time we got to the hospital my contractions were almost unbearable and I was convinced that if I stood up from the car you'd just fall out, it felt like you were right there but it turns out you weren't" she laughed slightly, "They put me in a room on the delivery ward and almost as soon as I laid on the bed to be examined my contractions stopped. The snow got much worse that night so I think you were making sure you were born in the hospital. I had contractions on and off for the next two days but nothing seemed to be happening so the doctor broke my waters and then" Shelby had to blink back tears, "then you were born. It happened so quickly, you were born 28 minutes after my waters were broken. I'd hoped, all along I'd hoped I'd get to have a moment with you, just a minute so I could tell you I loved you and say goodbye but it didn't happen, Hiram held you, Leroy held you and then they took you off to the corner to clean you up and check you over. I, I was a mess, I was sobbing, crying for you and for just one second you turned your head and looked at me but then they took you away, they took you away and I knew I'd never see you again." Tears were rolling down Shelby's cheek into Rachel's hair as she admitted, "I was so hysterical after they took you away that I had to be sedated. I never held you, I didn't even know your name, but in that one second when you looked me in the eye I knew I'd never love anyone half as much as I loved you."

Shelby's shirt was soaked through with Rachel's tears "I, I, I"

Rachel's breath caught in her throat as she sobbed, and Shelby rubbed her back, "shh, you're okay baby, I've got you, you're okay, you're okay."

Rachel calmed down a little before saying what she wanted to say, "I wish I'd known you, I wish they'd have let you be there."

"Me too darling but there's nothing we can do that will change that, I'm here now though, I'm here now and I'm always going to be there, whenever you need me and even when you don't, I'll be there, that's what we need to focus on sweetheart. I called my mom when I came round from being sedated. It took her four hours to get to the hospital because of the snow and she stayed on the phone listening to me cry the whole time. My mom was always there for me no matter what she thought of my actions. She knew all along I'd regret giving you away, I didn't listen but she was still there for me when I needed her and I plan on being there for you sweetheart."

"Do, do you regret me?" Rachel asked, her voice shaking as she failed to stop herself crying.

"No" Shelby didn't even wait for Rachel to finish her question, "never. I regret signing the contract saying I wouldn't contact you, I've regretted that every day but I have never, never regretted having you."

"I, I, I'm sorry Momma" Rachel sobbed, "I'm sorry"

"Oh darling, you've got nothing to be sorry for, nothing at all." Shelby pulled Rachel onto her so she was laying on the woman's stomach, "you're okay" she rubbed at Rachel's back, "you're okay."

"No" Rachel whimpered as she found herself in the same position she'd woken up in the morning before, "no, I'll hurt you."

"No you wont" Shelby tried to reassure her.

"But, your stomach."

"Is fine" she lied, "I'm more worried about you sweetheart. Take some deep breaths, you're okay darling, you're okay, Momma's got you, I've got you." She rubbed circles on Rachel's back as she tried to calm the girl down.

Hearing Shelby call herself Momma only made Rachel sob harder and bury her face in Shelby's chest, her left hand gripping tightly to Shelby's shirt. Rachel had spent her whole life dreaming that she had her Momma, someone to hold her and comfort her and now she had that she was overwhelmed by it all, it was almost too much for her to cope with. "You're okay darling, you're okay." Shelby felt Rachel shake as she sobbed and began to think about the anti anxiety meds sat in the bathroom cabinet before shaking her head, she wanted to try and calm Rachel down herself, she needed Rachel to know that she was always there, not that she was going to drug the girl every time she got upset. She began humming softly as she rubbed Rachel's back before she began to sing quietly, "_Now you'll lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord your soul to keep, that your heart is safe with me and if I die before I wake I'm sorry darling for every mistake I've ever made. I could sing you the most beautiful song you've ever heard, you could sing alone my hummingbird. But you don't need to sing, I don't need to play it'll be alright, I just want you to fall asleep tonight. This is a lullaby, lullaby, lullaby, lullaby. It's just the way I say goodnight, it'll be okay, it'll be alright, this is your lullaby." _

Rachel began to sob harder, "I'm sorry Momma, I'm so sorry" she gasped between sobs, "I'm sorry."

Shelby didn't reply, she knew telling Rachel she had nothing to be sorry for wouldn't help so she just continued rubbing circles on Rachel's back and singing softly, _" Yeah, yeah And when you told me you were scared I was well aware that your heart was unprepared So I said that I'd be there if I said maybe you'll sleep And you'll lust in all your dreams And never have to worry cause your heart is safe with me. I could sing you the most beautiful song you've ever heard. You could sing alone my hummingbird, but you don't need to sing, I don't need to play it'll be alright. I just want you to fall I just want you to fall I just want you to fall asleep tonight, It'll be ok, it'll be alright. This is your lullaby."_

"Hey" Shelby smiled as she saw Rachel begin to wake the next morning, "how are you feeling?" she asked as she brushed a stray lock of hair back from Rachel's face.

"Okay thank you" she whispered quietly, "I'm sorry about last night."

"It's okay darling, I'm just glad you feel like you can talk to me about things, I don't want you to ever worry about telling me anything, you never have to hide how you feel from me darling."

"Thank you"

"You don't need to thank me darling, it's okay." They laid in silence for a while, Rachel still laid on Shelby's chest, "I was thinking, after you fell asleep last night, you're back at school on Monday and, even though I wont be working any more we're not going to be able to spend as much time together, so I thought maybe we could do something this weekend, I thought we could maybe wrap up warm and go to the zoo or something, if you felt up to it I could ask Amy if she wanted to come with Lily and Max, or we could go just the two of us, whatever you want."

"Would, would Jimmy come?"

"I guess so, if you want Amy to come with the kids but not Jim then I'll talk to her, I'm sure he wouldn't mind."

Rachel shook her head, "I, you said he doesn't see them all week, it's not fair if I made him miss out on seeing them."

"He wouldn't mind Honey, and he's had an extra day off this week, he might be glad of the rest. We could go on Sunday Jim's driving back to Chicago so he'll probably be leaving around lunchtime, we could go in the morning, have some time together just the two of us and then meet Amy, Lily and Max after lunch and spend the afternoon with them. It's just an idea though, we don't have to go anywhere, we can stay in and watch movies all weekend if you'd rather?"

Rachel shook her head, "I, I'd like to go out I think"

Shelby smiled and held Rachel tighter, "we'll sort something, we'll have a great day baby. I promise."


	10. Chapter 10

**Saviour **- What if the men Shelby gave her baby to hadn't been the loving parents she thought they would be

**Rating** - T

**Characters** - Shelby & Rachel

**A/N -** I'm sorry for how long it's taken me to update, what I thought was just a cold turned out to be a nasty chest infection I've only just managed to shake. I've already started on the next chapter so it shouldn't be too long before I update again.

* * *

"I called your guidance counsellor" Shelby told Rachel on Friday morning, "Miss...Hill, Hillsby is it?"

"Miss, Miss Pillsbury" Rachel whispered, correcting her fathers only ever got her a beating.

"Oh yeah" Shelby smiled, "that's it, she's going to see us after school gets out, I said we'd be there a little after three, if you don't mind I'd like to tell her a little about why you're living here, you only have to tell her as much as you're comfortable with, but I'd like to think there's someone you can go to when I'm not around, however, I am going to make it absolutely clear that I want you to be able to call me whenever you feel you need to. I don't want you to think I'm just saying that either, if you feel like you need me then call me, I don't mind if you're just between classes and you want me to tell you I love you, I don't mind if it's the last class of the day and you're tired and want to leave an hour early."

"Okay" Rachel nodded, "thanks". She really did appreciate all the effort Shelby was going to but there was no way Rachel would call Shelby in the middle of the day, the woman had already been put out enough.

"Is there anything in particular you want to do today? I don't want to sound like a boring Mom but do you have any homework? I didn't see any school books in the bag you bought with you."

"I, my school books are in my locker, I did my homework at school, I took a maths book home once and my dad threw it on the fire and then spanked me when the school sent a letter home saying I hadn't returned it. I had to do extra chores to pay them back for replacing it. I'm up to date in all my classes though, you can call my teachers to check or ask Miss Pillsbury to pull up my grades for you to see."

"Darling" Shelby placed her hand between Rachel's shoulder blade, "take a deep breath, I wasn't getting at you I just wanted to make sure you didn't have any work to do. If you say you're up to date then I believe you."

Rachel frowned, "you, you believe me?"

"Of course" Shelby decided not to make a big deal out of it, "so what do you want to do today?"

"I, I don't mind"

Shelby smiled, "well I did have a couple of ideas. I thought we could maybe go down in the basement and go through my sheet music, find something we could sing together"

Rachel's face lit up, "really?"

Shelby nodded and kissed her forehead, she couldn't stop touching Rachel, it was like she constantly needed to reassure herself that this was real, this was her life now, "really. Then I thought we could go out for a walk, get some fresh air, see if we could find somewhere nice for lunch and then I know a couple of good bookstores I thought we could visit, start building you your collection."

"Momma" Rachel almost whimpered.

"What's wrong baby?" Shelby pulled her close, "if you'd rather do something else you just have to say, I really wont mind."

"It, no one's ever planned a day for me like that, not one that I'd enjoy."

"Sweetheart" Shelby kissed Rachel again, "this is going to be the first of many I promise."

It was a little before midday when Shelby and Rachel finally came up from the basement, it had been the most fun Rachel had had in years, she loved to sing but her fathers always complained about the noise and there was no way they'd have paid for piano lessons, that was something Rachel had taught herself. They'd sung several songs together, most Shelby had suggested but after a while Rachel had become more comfortable and made some suggestions of her own.

"Where do you want to go for lunch?" Shelby asked as she handed Rachel her coat.

"I don't mind."

"Well what would you like to eat? Hot or cold?"

"I'm not really that hungry."

Shelby smiled, Rachel always said she wasn't hungry but Shelby still made sure she ate something, "I know a great little sandwich shop but the portions are huge we could share a sandwich and some fries if you'd like?"

"Okay" Rachel nodded, "that sounds good."

Shelby picked up her bag, "okay, but seeing as I decided where we were going, you can decide what we eat when we get there."

Before Rachel knew it, she and Shelby were walking through the school parking lot, she'd played it safe at lunch, opting for a chicken salad sandwich, Shelby had been right, the portions were huge, even half a sandwich and a few fries was more than Rachel could manage. Once she'd eaten as much as she could they left the sandwich shop and they trawled through several bookshops and bought far more books than Rachel was comfortable with letting Shelby buy, but now they were here, at the school and Rachel was terrified.

"Hey Rachel" Emma greeted the student as she walked into the office, "take a seat, you must be Miss Corcoran" she held out her hand for Shelby to shake, "it's a pleasure to meet you."

Shelby shook Emma's hand before taking the seat beside Rachel, "please, it's Shelby"

Emma nodded, "so how can I help you?"

"As you probably know, Rachel now lives with me, there were some 'issues' with her fathers. I trust anything said here is in the strictest of confidence?" Emma nodded and Shelby glanced at Rachel, "are you sure you're okay with this?" Rachel nodded and Shelby continued explaining to Emma, "I was the surrogate Rachel's fathers used, they left her on my doorstep last Friday with nothing but a few outfits and a note saying they'd gone to Florida and they'd signed papers putting Rachel into my custody." She paused again to check Rachel was okay and saw the girl had her head bowed, her hair covering her face so she reached out to squeeze her hand gently, "we've started talking things through, and Rachel has an appointment with a therapist on Thursday but I think she's still trying to adjust. Her fathers" Shelby took a deep breath, "her fathers weren't the most caring of men and we're working on showing you that how they treated you isn't how parents are meant to treat their children aren't we?"

Rachel nodded and whispered "yeah".

"I guess I just need to be sure she's going to have some sort of support system here."

Emma nodded, "of course, of course. We could set up some one to one meetings if you'd like?" She asked Rachel, "maybe once a week, do you think that would help?"

"I, I don't know" Rachel whispered

"Lets give it a try" Emma reached for her diary, "I've got a lot of meetings scheduled on Monday, but I could meet with you second period on Tuesday?"

Rachel nodded, "okay."

"I'm a little bit worried about Rachel being overwhelmed, she erm, well we've spent a lot of time cuddling and crying together. Is there any way she could leave class if things get too much for her?"

Emma nodded, "I'll write her a pass, if you think you need a break then you can either come and have a chat with me or go lie in the nurses office if you'd prefer peace and quiet. You aren't limited to only coming to see me when you have an appointment okay? You can come and see me whenever you feel you need to. If I'm with another student, knock on the door so I know you're here and then take a seat outside and I'll see you as soon as I can."

Rachel nodded, "Thank you"

"She has some anti anxiety meds" Shelby told Emma as she took the bottle of pills from her bag, she needs to take one if she has a panic attack but I'd like someone to try talking to her to try and calm her down before she takes a pill, we've managed without them so far but I'd like her to have some here just in case."

Emma nodded, "of course, of course, I'd always try to calm her down first."

Shelby nodded, "I'd like to be called if she takes a pill, I'd also like Rachel to be able to call me if she feels like she needs to."

"Of course" Emma agreed, "I'll let the office staff know and then if you want to call your Mom you can either go to the main office and ask to use the phone or you can come in here if you'd like a little more privacy" she gestured to the phone on her desk, "that's not a problem at all."

Shelby turned to Rachel, "I don't want you to feel like we're just saying you can do these things Rachel, we mean it, if you need to take a break or you want to call me then please, please don't feel like you can't."

Rachel nodded again, "okay."

Emma bit her lip for a moment before she spoke, "I don't know if you think this might help, but we could bring Rachel back to school gradually, just a couple of days a week at first and work up to a full week when you feel ready?" She could tell Rachel was nervous about returning to school and thought giving her time to readjust might help.

"What do you think darling?" Shelby asked Rachel.

Rachel sighed, she was terrified about going back to school but she'd already been too much of a burden to Shelby, the woman didn't need her around all the time, she'd probably be glad of the break. "I, I think I'll be okay."

Shelby wasn't so sure, "how about we see how it goes on Monday and then take it from there" she suggested, "you've been taking a lot of naps this past week, I don't want you to push yourself too far too fast."

Emma agreed with Shelby, "that sounds good, maybe you could come sit in on our meeting on Tuesday morning" she looked to Rachel, "if that's okay with you?"

"Yeah" Rachel nodded, "that's fine

"I'd like to give you this too" Shelby reached into her bag and pulled out a small piece of paper, "it's the name and contact number for the social worker who's helping us with the custody stuff, Rachel didn't feel like she could tell anyone about how her fathers were treating her and whilst I will never ever hurt her intentionally, I'd like you to take this, just in case you ever have any worries about Rachel's well being."

Emma took the card from Shelby, "thank you, I'll put it in Rachel's file but I'm sure I won't ever have need for it".

"Thank you" Shelby smiled, "now I know it's a bit late in the year, but Rachel and I were wondering if she'd still be able to join any after school clubs?"

"I'm sure she would" Emma turned her attention to Rachel, "did you have any particular clubs in mind?"

Rachel shook her head, she should probably find something to do every day after school, Shelby wouldn't want her hanging around the house all the time.

"You said you like singing and dancing" Shelby prompted before turning to Emma, "do you have a glee club?"

Almost as if on cue Will tapped gently on the glass of Emma's office door, "sorry to interrupt" he smiled as he poked his head around the door, "I just wanted to let you know I'm done, I'm going to grab a coffee and wait for you in the staffroom" he told Emma before smiling at Rachel, "Hey Rach"

"Hi" Rachel mumbled back quietly.

Emma smiled at her fiancé, "you must have been listening in" she joked, "we were just talking about the glee club, "Shelby this is Will Schuester our glee coach, Will this is Shelby Corcoran, Rachel's mother."

"Pleased to meet you" Will held out his hand, "I've heard a lot about you at show choir meets."

Shelby laughed, "none of it good I expect."

"All those national championships speak for themselves. What you did obviously worked."

Shelby laughed again, "I guess so, I've given it up now though, I want to spend my spare time with my own teenager."

"Rachel's been thinking about joining some after school clubs, Shelby thought she might like Glee" Emma explained.

Will nodded, "we're a friendly bunch" he smiled "we've got a practice on Wednesday if you'd like to join us" he could sense Rachel was nervous, "you don't have to join in if you don't want to, you can just sit in and see if you think it's for you."

"How about it Rach?" Shelby asked, she knew Rachel wasn't comfortable around people she didn't know, "If Mr Schuester doesn't mind I could join you too, share my expertise."

Will nodded, "yeah, that'd be great, I think the kids are getting sick of my song choices, some fresh ideas might be just what we need."

"How about it darling?" Shelby pulled Rachel close, "shall we join the glee club?"

"There's no pressure" Will said softly making Emma smile with pride, "and you'll be welcomed with open arms even if you just sit and watch, we're not really doing any practice anyway, we just won our sectionals competition and we're not going to start rehearsing for regionals until after the holidays so you've picked a perfect time to join." He saw Rachel still looked unsure, "talk it over with your Mom, there's no need to make a decision right now" he said with a smile, "I'll leave you ladies in peace" he winked at Emma and shook Shelby's hand again before saying goodbye to Rachel and leaving the room.

"Are you excited about tomorrow?" Shelby asked, rolling over and wrapping her arms around Rachel as they laid in bed that night.

"A little."

"I can tell" Shelby smiled, "you've been fidgeting for almost an hour."

"I'm sorry" Rachel whispered, "I'll go sleep in my own bed."

"No you wont" Shelby said, her grip on Rachel tightening slightly, "it's kind of cute, I always imagined you'd be one of those kids who couldn't sleep at Christmas because they were too excited. Then again I imagined your fathers dressing up as Santa, ringing sleighbells and spoiling you rotten." Rachel sighed, "I love you" Shelby told her, "having ants in your pants wont change that, and I know for sure Amy wont tell Lily that she's going to the zoo until they're in the car otherwise she'd be exactly the same, now come on" she rolled onto her back pulling Rachel to lie on top of her, "close your eyes and try and sleep, I don't want you to be too tired in the morning.

Rachel tried to hide her excitement the next morning, she didn't want to annoy Shelby but she didn't want to wait, she hadn't been to the zoo since she was in kindergarten, she wanted to be there now, she wanted to see everything but at the same time she didn't want Shelby to think she was spoilt or demanding.

"How about we go to the butterfly house?" Shelby suggested as they studied a map of the zoo, "I know Lily will probably want to go again when she gets here, but she gets a bit impatient after a while, we could just sit and watch them for a while."

Rachel smiled, "yeah, that sounds good." They walked inside the whitewashed building and Rachel's mouth dropped open as she stepped through the mesh curtain that hung in the doorway to stop the butterflies escaping, "wow".

"It's beautiful right?" Rachel only nodded as she slipped her hand into her mothers and together they slowly walked along the path, pausing now and again to look at the butterflies as they lounged amongst the plants.

"Momma" Rachel gasped quietly a few minutes later as they sat on a bench together, watching the butterflies darting around, "Momma look". Shelby turned to find a white butterfly sat on Rachel's thigh and, without Rachel noticing, she took a picture on her phone of Rachel smiling. She'd never get sick of seeing that smile, "That was amazing" Rachel grinned as the butterfly finally flew off, "it landed right on my leg Mom."

"I know" Shelby smiled, "I saw."

They were sat in the cafe after lunch when Amy rang Shelby to find out where they were, "Rae" Lily grinned from where she was sat, wrapped warmly her buggy.

"Hey" Shelby hugged Amy before ruffling Max's hair, "how you feeling tough guy?"

"I'm fine" Max pushed Shelby's hand from his head, "stop fussing Auntie Lelby, you're worse than Mom."

"Sorry" Shelby laughed before pulling him into a hug and covering him in kisses.

"Mooooom" Max whined, "make her stop."

"Sorry kid" Amy laughed, "she's my big sister, I can't make her do anything." She saw Rachel standing cautiously behind Shelby, "you must be Rachel."

"No Momma, My Rae" Lily corrected from her buggy.

"Sorry" Amy smiled, "you must be Lily's Rae. I'm Amy, you know Lil and that's Max" she gestured to the boy still trying to get Shelby to let him go."

"I, it's a pleasure to meet you" Rachel said shyly before holding out a stiff arm for Amy to shake..

Amy looked at Rachel's hand for a split second before holding open her arms, "I'd rather welcome you to the family with a hug." By now Shelby had stopped smothering Max and was holding his hand, waiting to see how Rachel would react and the woman couldn't help but smile as Rachel slowly stepped into Amy's arms, "it's great to finally meet you" Amy whispered as she hugged Rachel tightly.

"Momma" Lily's voice broke up the embrace between Aunt and Niece, "Momma, I want to see the 'raffes."

"I know you do baby, and we will see them, I promise."

"What noise do 'raffes make Momma."

Amy unstrapped Lily from her buggy, "how about you go ask Auntie Lelby."

"Okay" Lilly grinned as she jumped from the buggy and ran over to Shelby, "An'Lelly , An'Lelly, what noise do 'raffes make? Momma said you'd tell me."

"She did did she?" Shelby glared at her sister, "how about we go see the girrafes and you can hear what noise they make for yourself."

"Can we see the lions?" Max asked Amy after they'd spent a while by the giraffe enclosure.

"We can" Amy told him, "but I think Rachel should choose where we go next, this is her day out." She turned to look to Rachel, "what do you want to see?" she asked.

"I don't mind" Rachel said softly, "we can go see the lions."

"The lions will still be there later" Amy said as she passed Rachel the map she had on top of the buggy, "you choose something."

Rachel studied the map for a moment, "I'd like to see the elephants" she finally deided.

"Okay" Amy guessed Rachel wanted to spend some time alone with Shelby so she called Lily over, "come jump in" she said as she held open the straps on the buggy, "we don't want you getting worn out before we've seen anything do we."

"No Momma, I no be tired" Lily grinned, kissing Amy as she was strapped in.

"Max" Amy called next, passing the boy the map of the zoo, "think you can show us where the elephants are Kiddo?"

"Yep" he nodded, "come on Momma, Auntie Lelby, Rachel, follow me."

"Hey" Shelby wrapped her arm around Rachel as they began to walk a little behind Amy, Lily and Max, "you okay?"

Rachel nodded, "yes thank you."

"If it gets too much for you you just have to say, Amy wount mind taking the kids off somewhere for a while."

"I'm okay" Rachel reassured her mother, "they're not really what I expected, I guess I thought they'd be a little louder."

"They're good kids" Shelby told her, "but if you do need a break then promise you'll say something, no one will be offended."

They'd been at the zoo for several hours when Shelby noticed Rachel starting to lag behind, "are you getting tired?" she asked quietly, Rachel nodded, "want to go home?"

Rachel shook her head, "I don't want to spoil the ..."

"you're not spoiling anything darling, just because we go doesn't mean Amy and her kids have to go home too. You're back at school tomorrow, you don't want to be too tired to get up."

Rachel nodded, "okay."

"Amy" Shelby called her sister over, "we're going to get off, Rachel's getting tired."

Amy smiled, "she's not the only one" she nodded her head towards the buggy where Lily's eyes were almost closed.

"I no tired Momma." Lily frowned.

"Let's go to the gift shop" Amy suggested, "then we can head home."

"I don't want to go home" Max whined

"We're going home Max or Lily will start to get grumpy and then we won't have fun. We can come back another day, maybe when it's a bit warmer yeah."

Max sighed, "Okay Mom."

"Good boy" Amy ruffled his hair, "let's go see what we can get at the gift shop."

Amy insisted on spoiling Rachel in the gift shop, she wouldn't let Shelby buy anything for her daughter, and although it took a lot of persuading for Rachel to choose something, she eventually left clutching a large stuffed elephant, a book about butterflies and an elephant mug where the trunk of the elephant formed the handle of the mug. Shelby had noticed Rachel's fascination with elephants and slipped away from the rest of her family, picking up several items for Rachel's birthday and Christmas, she managed to slip her gift bag under Lily's buggy without Rachel noticing, she'd get it back of Amy another time, maybe when Rachel was at school, she'd never had to find hiding places for presents before and the fact that now she had a reason to hide gifts excited her, Rachel didn't know about the storage under the seat in the armchair, and small gifts could be hidden in the piano bench. Shelby knew she'd have to make a list so she didn't forget where anything was hidden.

The evening passed far too quickly for Rachel's liking, and before she knew it she was laid in bed watching Shelby set the alarm, "I'm going to get up at seven to shower" she told Rachel, "do you want to get up with me or would you rather I woke you up when I got out so you can have an extra 15/20 minutes sleep?"

"I, I had to leave my fathers house at 7.30" Rahel confessed, "you live even further away."

Shelby frowned, "what time do you have to be at school?"

"8.30"

"Okay" Shelby nodded, "it's about 20 minutes to McKinley from here so we can leave at eight, is that okay?"

"You, you're going to take me to school?"

"Yeah" Shelby nodded, "I can drop you off around the corner if you're embarassed by me"

"No" Rachel shook her head, "no, it's not that, I just assumed I'd still have to walk."

"God no" Shelby answered straight away, "I'm not letting you walk miles in the freezing cold, beside that it'll probably still be dark. I'll drop you off and I'll be there to bring you home too and if I can't pick you up one day for whatever reason I'll get Amy or my Mom to be there. I know it's hard for you to get used to but all you're going to get from me and my family is love."

"Thank you"

Shelby placed the alarm clock back on the table and flicked off the light, "there's no need to thank me baby, now close your eyes and get some rest. I love you."

Rachel allowed herself to be pulled into her mother's warm embrace, "I love you too."

"Have a good day darling" Shelby leant over and kissed Rachel's temple as she pulled up outside the school the next morning, "I'll see you later."

"You'll be here?" Rachel asked for the third time sine she'd woken.

"Unless you call me and ask me to come get you I'll be here at 3.30 waiting for you to come out I promise."

"Okay" Rachel nodded, "See you later."

"I love you"

Rachel smiled, "I love you too" she whispered shyly as she left the car, pausing to wave to her mother before walking into the building.

The doors had barely had time to close behind Rachel when she felt the cold sting of coloured ice hitting her face, "we missed you last week manhands. Had to find another target" some random hockey players laughed before hi-fiving each other and throwing the empty cups over their shoulders at Rachel as they walked off down the corridor.. Rachel felt her breakfast shift in her stomach, she was wearing brand new clothes, her life was officially over, Shelby was going to kill her.


	11. Chapter 11

**Saviour **- What if the men Shelby gave her baby to hadn't been the loving parents she thought they would be

**Rating** - T

**Characters** - Shelby & Rachel

**A/N -**I think this is the longest part so far, it seemed to take on a life of it's own!

* * *

Rachel couldn't hold back her tears as she stood in the hallway after the slushy attack, usually she'd wash up and change into the spare clothes she kept in her locker but she'd taken her clothes home to wash the night she'd ended up being left at her mom's house. How was she going to explain this to Shelby? Her clothes were brand new and by now she could even feel the cold liquid seeping into her underwear, Shelby was going to kill her.

Rachel hadn't seen Sue watching her and she didn't notice the cheer coach approach her. Sue had watched Rachel get closer and closer to a breakdown and decided to step in before Rachel had a meltdown in the middle of the corridor, "have you got any clean clothes?" Rachel shook her head, "follow me" Sue commanded before stalking down the corridor, pausing only once to make sure Rachel was following her. Sue lead Rachel to the cheerios' locker room, "wait here" she ordered before turning on her heel and leaving Rachel shivering in the changing area. Sue returned a few moments later and passed Rachel two fluffy red towels, a small bottle of shampoo and a bar of sweetly scented soap, "go take a shower" she said, "I'll get you some cheerios sweats to change into and leave them on the bench here." All the staff had been told that Rachel was now living with her mother and the police were to be called if either of the Berry men showed up on campus, "do you want me to call your Mom?" Rachel nodded slowly, if Shelby was going to punish her for ruining her clothes she'd rather get it out of the way sooner than later. "Okay" Sue nodded and gestured towards the showers, "you go get cleaned up, I'll bring you some clothes and then go call your Mom."

"Thank you" Rachel whispered as she put the towels down on a bench, not wanting to dirty them as she undressed.

Sue said nothing, just nodded as she left the room, "Berry" She called over the roar of the powerful shower, a few minutes later, "there are some clean clothes out here and a bag to put your dirty ones in. Come to my office when you're done."

Sue called Shelby and explained the situation, Shelby was understandably furious and, as she wasn't even home yet, turned around and headed straight back to the school after making Sue promise to keep an eye on Rachel until she got there. Sue had been keeping an eye on the younger brunette for a lot longer than she'd let on, there was something about her fathers she didn't like but she couldn't quite put her finger on what it was. She'd noticed a while ago just how thin the girl had become, and after watching her for a few days and noticing she never ate lunch, Sue had started breaking into Rachel's locker to leave food, fruit, rice crackers, cookies, anything just to be sure the girl had something in her stomach. She was brought back to reality by a gentle tap on the door, "Thank you for lending me the clothes" Rachel said softly as she entered the room. She was grateful that Sue had thought to leave her a sports bra and some panties with the red sweatpants and cheerios t shirt, "I'll have then laundered and back on your desk in the morning."

"Keep them" Sue said lifting a red duffel bag onto her desk, "there's a uniform in there, as soon as things at home have settled down and the uniform fits you I want you to be my new flyer" Sue had given the girl extra small sweats but they hung off her like they were several sizes too big. The uniform was a size small, rumours of the sadistic diets she put her cheerios on were greatly exaggerated. If any of her cheerios dropped below what Sue considered to be a healthy weight they were off the squad until they gained back some weight and got the help they needed.

Shelby made it back to the school in under fifteen minutes and she was soon stood in Principal Figgins' office with Rachel and Sue, "Would you care to explain why my daughter got covered in flavoured ice just seconds after she walked into the building this morning? And" Shelby looked at Rachel, "I'm guessing its not the first time its happened."

"Mom" Rachel whispered, edging closer to Shelby.

"It's okay baby" Shelby reassured Rachel as she wrapped her arms around the girl. "I want to know what you're doing about the obvious bullying that goes on on your school" she turned her attention back to the Principal.

"The students have a hierarchy Miss Corcoran, they need to..." Figgins began before he was interrupted.

"Bollocks" Shelby said fiercely before apologising to Rachel for her language, "I've worked in high schools for almost 10 years, and yes there are hierarchy but I have never, never, seen behaviour like this. Behaviour you don't seem to be interested in stopping. Rachel will be taking the rest of today off so we can go and replace the brand new clothes that have just been ruined, clothes I will expect the school to pay for. And I swear on my own life, if I ever find out this has happened again, to any student, not only will I have my daughter pulled from this school faster than you can blink, but I will tell the education board and every newspaper and news channel in the state that you are happy to turn a blind eye to students being assaulted in your hallways. This. Ends. Now." She spat before reaching for Rachel's hand, "come on darling." She nodded to Sue who opened the door for her, "thank you for your help Coach Sylvester."

Sue nodded, "could I have a word?"

Shelby nodded, "Rachel sweetheart, I'm just going to talk to coach Sylvester for a couple of minutes, do you want to wait in the car?" Rachel nodded and Shelby kissed her head before passing her the car keys and reassuring the girl she wouldn't be long.

"I've told Rachel I want her to join the cheerios" Sue said as soon as Rachel had rounded the corner, "she's got the uniform, it'll be too big now but when she's settled at home and the uniform fits..." Shelby nodded, "if she doesn't want to then I won't force her, I want you to know that she has a choice, I might be strict but I won't force her if she doesn't want to join."

"I can assure you" Shelby said firmly, "she wont be joining unless it is what she wants".

Sue smiled, she liked this woman, "good" there was silence for a minute, "how's she doing?" Sue asked, anyone who knew her would have been surprised at the kindness in her voice.

Shelby sighed, "she's hanging on in there, she's so fragile, emotionally, I just hope I can help her away from the edge before she breaks down completely."

Sue smiled sympathetically, "as horrible as it sounds, maybe you need to let her break down, let her get it all out of her system and start from scratch."

"I'm taking my cues from her, we've got an appointment with a therapist later in the week. I'm confident that she'll be okay, it's just going to take a while to get there."

"I think once she gets used to the fact that you're there and you're going to be the rock that she needs" Sue raised an eyebrow at Shelby and lowered her voice, "because you are going to be there for her aren't you?"

"Of course I am" Shelby frowned, "I let her go once, I'm not going to do it a second time."

"Good" Sue said before continuing, "once she understands that you're going to be there she'll come along in leaps and bounds, she just needs time to adjust."

Shelby nodded, "I know."

"You're doing a great job". Sue told her, "I'm a good judge of character."

"Thanks" Shelby smiled before gesturing down the corridor, "I should go, her fathers, they used to leave her home alone, I don't like leaving her for too long."

Sue nodded, "okay, and don't worry about Rachel, I've got her back."

Shelby nodded again, "thanks."

"Any time" Sue pulled a business card from her pocket and handed it to Shelby, "Figgins is useless, if you find out Rachel is having any more trouble call me, I'll sort it."

"Thank you" Shelby pushed the business card into her bag, "and I appreciate you keeping an eye on her."

"No need" Sue shook her head, "now go spend the day with your daughter."

"Oh baby" Shelby sighed as she found Rachel sobbing in the passenger seat of her SUV, "what's wrong?"

"I'm sorry" Rachel whimpered as Shelby hugged her awkwardly over the centre console, "I'm sorry."

"Sweetheart you've got absolutely nothing to be sorry for, nothing at all."

"You don't have to buy me new clothes" Rachel whispered, "I can clean them, it takes a while but the stains will come out."

"You're not cleaning them Rachel, I know you might have had to do that in the past but not any more, your school will be reimbursing me for the cost of your new clothes, I'm on your side baby, you don't need to fight your battles on your own any more and I meant what I said in there, if it happens again, even to someone else you're out of there, I'll home school you if I have to. Sweetheart you don't have to go through that, it's not 'normal' and neither do you 'deserve' it. You don't have to put up with anything that hurts you, makes you uncomfortable, anything you don't like. If it's something you feel like you can't speak out about then tell me, I'll stand up for you baby, I promise you."

"Thank you."

"It's what I'm here for darling, I love you and I will do anything to make sure you're safe and happy."

"I love you too" Rachel whispered, it still felt strange to have someone repeatedly tell her she was loved, but in the short time she'd been with Shelby, she was starting to believe that someone wanted her, that she wasn't a failure or a waste of space. If Shelby still loved her even now she knew what a loser she was then maybe things wouldn't be that bad.

"I wish I could see what was going on in that head of yours" Shelby said softly before kissing Rachel's temple, "I'd like to see where it is you drift off to."

"I'm sorry".

"Don't be" Shelby smiled at Rachel before kissing her again, "let's go home, we can get you some new jeans another day." She kissed Rachel again, "we'll get there baby, I promise you sweetheart things will get better, it won't be like this forever."

Tuesday passed without incident, Figgins had punished the hockey team that slushied Rachel with a one day suspension, but on Wednesday they were back and looking for revenge. "Do you have your text book Rachel?" her third period Biology teacher asked her.

Rachel shook her head, "I think I left it in my locker."

The teacher nodded and scribbled something on a sheet of paper, "here" she passed Rachel the note, "go fetch it, we'll be doing some of the exercises in it in a little while."

Rachel nodded, taking the note that gave her permission to be out of class before leaving the room. She'd not got far when she suddenly found herself surrounded by a group of jocks, "so" one of them hissed in Rachel's ear, "seeing as you ran to mommy and now we're not allowed to bring slushies through the gates we need to fond some other way to show you where you belong and it's not at the top"

Rachel didn't realise she'd been herded to the top of the stairs until it was too late. She didn't even have time to scream as she felt large hands on her shoulders pushing her forwards, she tried desperately to catch her footing on the stairs or grab the handrail but she couldn't and she landed at the bottom of the stairs with a sickening thud.

"What the..." Sue frowned as she saw someone laid on the floor in the middle of the corridor, "Berry" she gasped, sprinting forward and pulling her cellphone from her pocket to call 911.

Rachel came round in the ambulance, she was strapped to a board in case she'd injured her spine and understandably terrified, "Momma" she sobbed as she fought against the restraints, "Momma, Momma." She made a gagging noise and the paramedic grabbed a cardboard bowl and lifted the board Rachel was laying on so she was on her side just in time for Rachel to be sick, "momma" Rachel cried before vomiting again.

"Rachel" the paramedic wiped gently at her mouth with a tissue, "do you know where you are? Do you know what day it is?"

"Momma."

"I've called her" Sue made her presence in the back of the ambulance known, "she's on her way, she'll meet us there. You've had a nasty accident and I know you're scared but you need to stop fighting Berry. Once we get to the hospital and the doctors know you haven't injured your spine you can get up and we can start getting you ready to join my team." Sue tried to hide the fact that she too was terrified, in her opinion Rachel had been unconscious for far too long for there not to be anything wrong.

"Momma" Rachel whimpered again.

"She'll be here soon Berry, she loves you and she'll be at the hospital as soon as she can."

Shelby was petrified, all Sue had said was that she'd found Rachel unconscious at the bottom of a flight of stairs. Tears clouded her eyes and she had to force herself not to think about her daughter so she could get to the hospital without getting in an accident herself. "Rachel Berry" she shouted, not caring that she'd pushed to the front of the queue. "I'm looking for Rachel Berry" she repeated as the receptionist called a passing doctor over.

"Are you Mom?" Shelby nodded, "she's just through here" he lead her down the corridor, "you need to prepare yourself but it honestly does look worse than it is. We're almost certain that she's got a broken wrist, but she's strapped to a spinal board until we can get her an x ray to check she's not got any spinal damage. We're probably going to do a head scan too, she was out for quite a while and she's been sick since. Now you're here we might be able to assess her a little bit better, every time we've tried to ask her anything she just calls for you. X ray are ready for her but we need her to calm down a little before we take her up. We don't want to give her anything to calm her down in case it masks any symptoms of anything more serious. I know you're probably just as scared as she is but we need your help to try and keep her calm."

Shelby nodded, "okay".

"She's really agitated about being on the board, the sooner we can calm her down the sooner we can get the okay to take her off it.

"Okay" Shelby gestured towards the door, "can I?"

"Sure" the doctor opened the door, "after you."

"Momma" Rachel whispered as Shelby moved to stand over the bed.

"I'm here" she wiped at Rachel's tears, "I'm here baby."

"I want to go home." Rachel sobbed, "I want to go." She once again began struggling to get up.

Shelby felt her heart swell as Rachel called her house home, "baby" Shelby wiped at Rachel's cheeks again, "I know you're scared and you're probably in a lot of pain right now, but you need to be here. You're on this board because the doctors don't know if you've injured your spine or not" the doctors and Sue had already tried to explain this to Rachel but they could tell she hadn't listened but Shelby's soft voice and her hand stroking Rachel's cheek seemed to be doing the trick, "you need to calm down so they can find out for certain and if nothings wrong then I promise you they'll let you sit up. I'm not going anywhere baby, we'll do it all together." She stood over the bed, making sure Rachel could see her, "take some deep breaths darling, come on, in and out" she slowed her own breathing so Rachel could match her breaths, "good girl" she smiled once Rachel seemed calm. "The doctor needs to ask you a few questions, I need you to answer them for him okay. I'm not going anywhere, I'll be right here."

The doctor examined Rachel and, after poking and prodding her for a while determined that it was unlikely that she had a spinal injury, but he was still worried about her head.

It was an hour later when the results of Rachel's x rays and scan came back, the doctor explained that there was nothing wrong with her spine and a nurse set about removing the straps that held Rachel to the board and helping her to sit up.

Whilst this was happening the doctor took Shelby to the far corner of the room to explain that whilst Rachel's spine was fine, she had definitely broken her wrist and they had found a small bleed on her brain.

Shelby felt like the world had been pulled out from under her feet, "what, what does that mean?" She asked.

"It means that a blood vessel in her brain has burst and there is a small amount of blood between her brain and her skull, it's no bigger than a nickel and I'm not too concerned right now but I do want to keep her in overnight. She'll be monitored closely and we'll give her another scan in the morning. If there's no worrying behaviours and the bleed is either the same size or smaller then you'll probably be able to take her home tomorrow and we'll bring her back in in a couple of days for a check up."

"And if it gets bigger?"

"We'll deal with that if it happens. She's conscious, she doesn't seem too disorientated or confused so I don't think we need to worry too much. If she starts complaining of dizziness, headaches, or she stops making sense when you're talking then let someone know straight away."

"Can I go home now?" Rachel asked quietly as Shelby walked back over to the bed.

"I'm afraid not baby." Shelby saw the fear in Rachel's eyes as tears began to, once again, roll down her cheeks, "hey, you're okay darling." Shelby gestured for Rachel to move over and she slipped off her shoes before climbing in the bed beside Rachel, "I know you want to go home darling but" Shelby sighed, she didn't want her daughter to panic, "you know you hit your head when you fell?" Rachel nodded, "well, the doctors want to keep you in tonight just to keep an eye on you and make sure there's no serious injury."

"Momma" Rachel whimpered.

"Shh" Shelby began to rock her gently, "you're okay, I'm not going to leave you, I'll call Amy and ask her to bring us both some things but I'll be here with you Rachel, I won't leave."

"Rachel?" A nurse walked over to Rachel's bed and she nodded, "I'm Lucy, I'm here to put your arm in a cast and get you out of that splint."

Rachel nodded and her eyes opened wide in fear as she felt Shelby stand from the bed. "I'll be right here" Shelby took Rachel's good hand in hers as she sat in a chair beside the bed.

"There we go" Lucy smiled as she pulled off her gloves, "this cast is just temporary, you'll have it on for a week or so until the swelling goes down. You'll get to choose the colour of the next one" she smiled, "it's a pretty clean break so you should only need to be in plaster for six weeks."

True to her word Shelby didn't leave Rachel's side, "I'm going to ring my sister, ask her to bring us some things" Shelby told the doctor once Rachel had fallen asleep, "I should be back before she wakes but if I'm not can you tell her I've just gone to call Amy and I'll be back soon."

"Amy" Shelby whispered into the phone as her sister answered, "I, I need you to get some things for me, Rachel's in hospital."

"Shit Shell, what's happened?"

The tears Shelby had been holding back all afternoon began to fall and her body shook with sobs, "I don't know, her teacher called me and said she'd been found unconscious on the floor at the bottom of a flight of stairs, she was being bullied Amy, the teacher that found her thinks someone might have pushed her."

"Fuck"

"She's gone to look at the CCTV tapes."

"Is Rachel okay?"

"She's broken her wrist and they've found a bleed on her brain. It's only a small one and if it's gone down in the morning I can take her home, can you bring us some things please?"

"Of course I can, what do you need?"

"Some pyjamas for me, Rachel won't want hers, will you bring some of her leggings and a t shirt of mine for her to sleep in. Erm, some sweatpants or something for tomorrow, underwear, some soap and stuff, I don't know Amy, just bring anything. She's terrified, I wouldn't ask but I cant leave her, I've only been able to call you because she's taking a nap. There's a bear on my bed, he's Rachel's, she'll want him."

"Don't worry about it Shelly, let me take the kids to Mom's then I'll get your stuff, what ward is she on?"

"She's still in the emergency room but they're going to move her soon. I'll text you when we go and let you know what ward we're on."

"Okay, don't worry Shell, she's a Corcoran, she's tougher than she looks. I love you both."

Shelby smiled, "I love you too."

"Momma" Shelby could tell Rachel was still exhausted when she woke just 10 minutes after she'd got off the phone with Amy.

"You're okay sweetheart" Shelby brushed Rachel's hair from her face, "I'm right here" she kissed Rachel's forehead before slipping off her shoes and climbing onto the bed beside Rachel. "You need to get some rest darling" they shifted in the bed for a while before Rachel made herself comfortable. Shelby raised the head of the bed so she could sit against it and Rachel shuffled down the bed so she was laying on her side between Shelby's legs, her head on her mother's thigh. "Come on now" Shelby began to play gently with Rachel's hair, "close your eyes." She began to hum quietly and in less than ten minutes Rachel was finally asleep.

Rachel hadn't been asleep long when the doctor approached the bed, "we're ready to move her up to the paediatric ward" he told Shelby, "a porter will be here soon to take her up." He'd seen how much calmer Rachel was when her mother was around, "you can ride up with her like that if you'd like?"

Shelby nodded and stroked Rachel's head, "that might be for the best."

The doctor nodded, "it's fine. I thought I should give you a heads up that someone from the neurosurgery department will be in to speak to you both later, it's nothing to worry about, standard procedure for anything more than a bump on the head, they just like to know what they'd be dealing with in a worst case scenario. I don't want either of you to panic."

"Momma" Rachel's eyes flew open as the bed started to move, "Momma".

"I'm right here sweetheart, I'm right here." Rachel started to shake in fear so Shelby moved her so she was sat with her back against her mother's chest, "you're okay baby" she wrapped her arms around Rachel, "I meant it when I said I wasn't going anywhere, you're just being moved up to a paediatric ward. I've spoken to the doctor already, you'll be in a room on your own and I can stay all night, I've already called Amy, she's going to bring in some clean clothes and some pyjamas, there's nothing to worry about."

"I'm scared" Rachel whispered.

"I know darling, but I'm right here okay, I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere."

"What happens if I can't go home tomorrow?"

"Then I stay here with you until you can go home."

"Please" Rachel's eyes filled with tears, "please don't make me go back, I'll do anything."

"You won't be going back there darling, you don't need to do anything. There's no way I'd let you go back there, not now. The doctor has already told me that you'd have to take some time off anyway but when you've recovered I'll sort something, get the school to send your work home, I don't know, we'll sort something when you're feeling better but you're not going back there darling, you don't need to worry about that."

"Here we go" the porter announced as he pushed the bed into a small room, "you just need to shuffle across to that bed there" he gestured to the bed by the window, "I can get someone to help you if you need?"

"I think we're okay" Shelby said with a smile as she helped Rachel over to the bed, which was far more comfortable than the one in the emergency department, "thanks."

"It's okay" the porter smiled, "just doing my job, someone will probably come in in a little while but if you need anything in the mean time use the green button by the bed" he gestured to the button, "or the red one if it's an emergency."

They'd been on the ward for almost an hour when there was a gentle tap at the door of Rachel's room and Amy walked in, her hands full of bags and a helium balloon trailing behind her, "how are you feeling?" Amy ignored her sister and moved straight to the empty chair by Rachel's bed, sitting opposite her sister, "stupid question" she shook her head, "I bet you're feeling like shit, but this is from Max to cheer you up. She placed the weight for the helium balloon on the table in front of Rachel before pulling a teddy bear dressed as a doctor from one of the many bags she held, "and this is from Lily. She says I have to kiss you better" she leant forwards and kissed Rachel's cheek. "And I wanted to get you a few things to stop you being bored." Amy placed several bags on the table, "but I didn't know what you like so I got you everything."

Shelby frowned as Rachel slowly searched through the bags, Amy really had bought everything, books, magazines, colouring books, puzzle books, chocolate, candy, you name it Amy had bought it. "Thank you" Rachel whispered, smiling shyly at her aunt.

"Its okay" Amy returned the smile, "I know how boring your Mom can be so you'll need something to keep you occupied."

"Hey" Shelby frowned when Amy called her boring, "I'm fun Auntie Lelby"

"Yeah" Amy nodded, "to my kids you're fun Auntie Lelby and I'm boring old Mommy but to Rachel you're boring old Mommy and I'm fun Auntie Amy" she said with a smile, "but to keep boring old Mom happy I bought you both this" she pulled a large plastic tub from one of the bags, "if Max's asthma has taught me anything it's that I'd rather eat dog food than what they call a meal in here, it's nothing special, just chicken pasta but you can eat it cold, or there's a common room down the hall with a microwave to warm it up if, like Jimbob, you find the idea of eating cold pasta revolting."

"Thank you" Rachel said shyly as Shelby smiled at her sister.

"Thanks Amy."

"No problem, it's not like you've never done the same for me." The two women sat chatting for a while, Rachel would join in occasionally but mainly she just listened to Shelby and Amy, "I was wondering" Amy turned back to Rachel a while later, "your mom said you mentioned doing quite a few sports when you were younger" Rachel nodded and Amy continued, "I've never been the most athletic of people, but I used to swim before I had Lil, when you're out of plaster would you like to come with me? You can come too Shel if you want, but there's no pressure" she reassured Rachel.

"I don't have a swimsuit." Rachel admitted, unable to look Amy in the eye.

"I'm sure we could get you one if you wanted to come, or maybe you could ask Santa for one?"

Rachel smiled and looked to Shelby who smiled and nodded, "I, I think I'd like that but I don't know how good I'd be" Rachel said shyly.

"Great" Amy smiled, "I think there's a ladies only session on a Wednesday night, or there's a family fun thing on a Saturday morning too with inflatables and stuff, me, you and your Mom could take Max and Lily" she shrugged, "we can sort something out when you're out of plaster, and don't worry about not being good, it's been a while since I last swam, the more we go the better you'll get".

"Trust me darling" Shelby smiled to Rachel, "if we go with Lily and Max you'll spend more time trying to stop Lily taking her armbands off than you will swimming."

"Yeah" Amy agreed, "she told me she wants to be a mermaid. I don't think it helped that she used to be scared of the water until Jim told her it was just like being in the bath. Maybe I should make her wear her armbands in the bath so she'll keep them on in the pool" Amy frowned. They spoke for a while longer and Shelby was pleased to see Rachel becoming more comfortable with Amy, "I should get off" Amy announced, "save Mom from the horrors of an overtired Max and Lil." She kissed Rachel's cheek, "call me when you're home, let me know how you're doing."

Rachel nodded, "thank you for..." she gestured to the table over the bed, "everything."

"Any time"

Amy moved around the bed and Shelby stood to hug her baby sister, "thanks"

"It's okay, like I said, you've done it for me enough times, the least I can do is return the favour, you know where I am if you need anything" she pulled away from the hug to look at Rachel, "that goes for you too Mini-Shel."

Rachel nodded, "thanks."

"It's okay, I hope you're feeling better soon, and let me know when you get your real cast on, I wanna sign it before your Mom" she said blobbing her tongue out at Shelby before saying her final goodbyes and leaving the room.

"Do you speak to your brothers?" Rachel asked, breaking the silence a while later before shaking her head, "I shouldn't have asked that, I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry" Shelby reached for her hand, "you're allowed to ask questions about your family, and to answer your question I speak to Matt and Luke occasionally, there's no big family feud or anything but Matt lives in Columbus and Luke lives in Dayton so obviously I don't see them as often as I see Amy who only lives twenty minutes away. I see them at Mom's every couple of months and I know they meet up with their kids the way I meet up with Amy, if they lived closer I'd see them more often."

"Okay"

"You'll get to meet them when we go to Mom's over Christmas." She paused for a minute, "we need to decide what we're doing, over the holidays" she confirmed, "do you want to celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah or both?"

"I don't know" Rachel said shyly, "My fathers and I never celebrated anything, well I didn't, I don't really know what they did" she looked thoughtful for a moment before asking Shelby, "what do you celebrate?"

"My family and I celebrate Christmas but not in the biblical sense, we all get together have a meal and exchange gifts, it's about spending time together and having fun."

Rachel nodded, "I, that sounds nice."

Shelby smiled, "it is, I usually go to my Mom's on Christmas day but this year I'd like to spend it at home just the two of you, I want it to be something you can enjoy, it can be a little bit crazy at my Mom's so I thought we could maybe have Christmas day at home together and then go to my Mom's to have dinner with the family on boxing day. How does that sound?"

"Won't your Mom be mad?"

"Of course not" Shelby shook her head, "I've already spoken to her and even though she's dying to meet you she's happy to wait a little longer."

A nurse bought Shelby a camp bed and some blankets later that evening but she didn't use it, she took one of the blankets and laid in Rachel's bed, allowing her daughter to curl into her, seeking out the comfort she so desperately needed, "I'm sorry" Rachel whispered, "that you have to be here instead of at home doing something more important."

"Nothing is more important to me than you" Shelby said firmly, "the only place I ever want to be is wherever you may be. I look at you" she sighed, "some nights I lie awake watching you sleep and there's this little voice in my head that tells me I've screwed up a lot of things in my life, but no matter how many other things I've messed up, I don't suck at making beautiful babies, because you are the most beautiful, perfect person I have ever met. All the things your fathers told you aren't true, you are beautiful and intelligent, you're humble and caring, you're so kind hearted, and so trusting, even after everything you've been through. It just amazes me that I made you, that you're the tiny inch long blob I saw on my first sonogram."

Rachel blushed and bit her lip, unable to look Shelby in the eye as she mumbled, "I don't think suck at being a Mom either."

"Oh baby" Shelby tightened her grip on Rachel as she felt her eyes fill with tears, "you've got no idea how much that means to me, Amy, she told me I'd do a great job, but to hear it from you sweetheart. I'm, I'm glad you feel like that."

Rachel snuggled closer to Shelby as she spoke again, "you know how you said you'd tell me you loved me every day?"

"Yeah" Shelby nodded, "and I will."

"I, I can tell you that you're a good mom every day too, if you'd like."

Shelby smiled sadly, "thank you" she kissed Rachel's head, "I just hope that one day you'll realise how much I love you, maybe that wont happen til you're a Mom yourself, but one day, I hope you realise that you are my entire world and I'd do anything to make you happy. I know it's hard right now to understand how someone could love you the way I do, but one day sweetheart, I hope you'll learn that I'm not ever going to walk away, there's going to be a day when you come home to tell me all about an amazing man, someone who makes you crazy happy, someone you want to spend your life with. You'll want to move out to live with your prince charming, start a family but all I'll want to do is wrap you up and cover you in kisses." Shelby wiped at her damp cheeks, "but no matter where you go, no matter how many babies you have of you own I'll still be hovering in the back ground, I will never ever be more than a phone call away, you could move to the moon and call me at 4am, I'd still answer and I'd still be on the phone for as long as you needed me to, . I know I'm rambling but it kills me to know that you think you're in this alone, but you're not, not any more, you've got me, you'll always have me."

Rachel's tears had soaked through Shelby's shirt and she felt her eyes getting heavy as she whispered "I love you Mom."

Shelby knew she'd never get tired of hearing those four words, "I love you too baby."


	12. Chapter 12

**Saviour **- What if the men Shelby gave her baby to hadn't been the loving parents she thought they would be

**Rating** - T

**Characters** - Shelby & Rachel

**A/N -**I'm not sure about this chapter, I only realised as I read it back that nothing really happens. I think I'm going to skip forward a couple of weeks after the next chapter to Rachel's birthday/Christmas. If there's anything in particular you'd like to see happen feel free to let me know and I'll do my best to include it.

* * *

Both Shelby and Rachel were relieved when the doctor discharged Rachel the next morning and after a visit to the pharmacy to get Rachel's painkillers, they were soon back home. Shelby got Rachel settled on the sofa before throwing their bag of dirty clothes into the laundry room to sort later and firing off a quick text to Amy to let her know Rachel was home and she'd call her later that night, neither of them had slept well in the hospital bed and Shelby was certain it wouldn't take long for Rachel to fall asleep. She wasn't wrong, by the time she got back to the living room Rachel was already fast asleep. Shelby smiled and took Edward bear from the plastic bag she'd left by the door, slipping him under Rachel's uninjured arm before she kissed her daughter and covered her with the blanket from the back of the sofa. Shelby yawned as she straightened up, she too was exhausted and all she planned to do was sort the laundry and the dishes before taking a nap herself.

Rachel didn't sleep for long, she woke just half an hour after she fell asleep. She panicked for a moment when she realised Shelby wasn't there, but after taking a minute to wake up a little more she realised she was back at home and she could hear her mother singing softly in the kitchen.

"Mom" Rachel said quietly, getting Shelby's attention as she walked into the room.

Shelby turned from where she was emptying the dishwasher, "hey baby, is everything okay? I thought you'd sleep for a while longer."

Rachel took a deep breath before saying something she would never have dared say to either of her fathers, "my arm hurts".

She knew, if she was lucky, her fathers would have told her to stop complaining, they might even have gone as far as to hit her arm, bend her wrist back, give her something to really cry about but Shelby, she just smiled softly, "I have your painkillers in my bag, the doctor said they might make you sleepy though and you're already tired so how about you go change and get settled somewhere we can both take a nap, your bed, my bed, the sofa, wherever, I'll make us something to eat because you can't take the pills on an empty stomach and then I'll come join you." Rachel nodded but didn't move from the doorway, "is there something else?" She moved across the kitchen to take Rachel's face in her hands and kiss her forehead softly, she couldn't believe how close she'd come to loosing her baby again.

"Could we watch a movie til I fall asleep?" She asked, unable to look her Mom in the eye.

Shelby smiled, every day Rachel crawled a little bit more out of the shell her fathers had forced her into, "of course. Go get in my bed when you're changed, it'll be comfier than the sofa. I'll be up as soon as I've made us something to eat." Rachel nodded and allowed herself to relax slightly in Shelby's embrace. Shelby was happy to hold her daughter for as long as she needed to be held but a little voice in her head reminded her that Rachel was in pain, "go get changed baby" she kissed her forehead again, "we can snuggle up in bed."

"Thank you" Rachel sighed, "I, I love you Mom."

"I love you too baby. I love you so much. I'm so glad you're okay" she smiled and kissed Rachel for a third time, "go get settled in bed. I'll be right up sweetheart."

Rachel clung to her mother for a moment longer before finally pulling away and walking upstairs, stopping only to pick up Edward Bear., she'd been relieved when Amy had bought him to the hospital, he'd already picked up Shelby's scent and had become a great comfort to the nervous teen. Shelby meanwhile made them both sandwiches for lunch, Rachel's appetite was slowly growing but Shelby was careful not to overwhelm her with too much food in one sitting. She grabbed some fruit and other snacks in case either of them got hungry later before taking a large bottle of water from the fridge and Rachel's pills from her bag and heading upstairs.

Rachel cleaned her teeth and wiped at her face with a damp wash cloth, she'd briefly considered taking a shower before remembering she couldn't get her cast wet. She wondered how she was meant to stay clean over the next six weeks, would she have to ask Shelby to help her bathe or would she have to make do with using the wash cloth. She didn't have time to think about it too much as she heard Shelby climbing the stairs, she quickly used the toilet, again struggling to wash her good hand and changed into leggings and one of the many t shirts Shelby had given her, "Hey" Shelby smiled as Rachel walked into the room, "I'm just going to change" she gestured to the pyjamas in her hands, "there are some dvds in here" she said gesturing to a box she'd taken from her closet, "mainly musicals though, if you want to watch anything that's not a musical the rest of my dvds are in the cupboard under the television downstairs, feel free to go and have a rummage, I won't be long."

"Can we watch this?" Rachel asked when Shelby walked out of her ensuite.

"Singing in the rain? Sure." Shelby smiled, "you get comfy I'll put it on" she took the dvd from her daughter and placed it in the dvd player before picking up the remote and making her way over to the bed, making sure Rachel was ready before pressing play and handing Rachel her plate.

"I, I don't want to get crumbs in your bed." Rachel said not wanting Shelby to think she was ungrateful for the food she'd been given.

"Don't drop any crumbs then" Shelby said with a smile hoping Rachel would know she was joking, "I don't mind" she said truthfully, "we can shake them out before you go to sleep or we can leave them and change the bedding later." she took a large bite from her own sandwich to prove her point.

Rachel ate just over half her sandwich before Shelby gave her the painkillers she'd been prescribed and just ten short minutes after swallowing the pills Rachel was fast asleep, still sat up in the bed and still balancing her plate on her lap. Shelby smiled as she felt Rachel lean into her and it was only as she glanced down at the head leaning on her shoulder that she realised Rachel was asleep. She put Rachel's plate on the side with her own before turning off the tv and carefully moving Rachel to a more comfortable position laying under the covers. "Momma" Rachel mumbled, curling into Shelby almost as soon as Shelby laid down.

"I'm here baby" Shelby ran her fingers through Rachel's hair, making a mental note to offer to help Rachel wash it later, the hospital had given her a waterproof cover so Rachel could bathe or take a shower with her cast on, and whilst she would probably be able to wash her own body, Shelby guessed Rachel wouldn't be able to wash her own hair properly but she'd rather struggle to do it herself than ask for help.

"Momma" Rachel sighed, a small smile forming on her face.

Shelby smiled too, "Momma's here baby, Momma's here" she laid playing with Rachel's hair for a while, watching as Rachel slept, a smile on her face and her lips moving slightly as if she was talking to someone. "I wish I knew what you were dreaming about" she told the sleeping girl, "but at least they're happy dreams, we like happy dreams, we don't like nightmares, we don't like them at all."

"Yeah" Rachel sighed again, "I like the dancing mangoes."

Shelby laughed, "I guess dancing mangoes are better than monsters" she mumbled to herself before the events of the past 24 hours caught up with her and she too fell into a peaceful slumber.

She woke to Rachel tossing and turning, her brow creased as she whimpered softly but this was different to the nightmares she'd seen Rachel have. Shelby glanced at the clock, it had been over five hours since Rachel had taken any painkillers, the girl must be in agony. She kissed her softly and left her sleeping for a while, "Rachel" she shook her shoulders softly a few minutes later, "Rachel, wake up baby."

Rachel's eyes twitched open, "Momma" she whimpered, her eyes filling with tears almost instantly, "Momma it hurts."

Shelby smiled sadly, "I know darling, that's why I woke you up" she helped Rachel into a sitting position and pulled the covers straight over her lap, "you need to eat these before you can take your pain pills" she handed Rachel a couple of crackers and was surprised when the girl ate them without protest, "here you go sweetheart" she passed Rachel the two white pills and waited until they were in her mouth before passing over a glass of water, "better?" she asked once Rachel had swallowed the pills.

Rachel sighed, "everything hurts" she finally admitted.

"The doctor said that was to be expected. I fell off a top bunk when I was your age and I ached for days, I can only imagine how sore you are." She sat back against the headboard and allowed Rachel to cuddle into her, "how about I run you a nice warm bath?" Shelby suggested, you can have a good soak, it might help your muscles relax."

"What about my arm?"

"The doctor gave me a waterproof cover for your cast, you have a soak in the bath and then I'll wash your hair for you later."

Rachel's face lit up, "Really? You'd really help me?"

"Of course" she kissed the head that was resting on her shoulder, "you might be able to wash your body one handed in the bath but I think you'd struggle to wash your hair" She sat with Rachel for a moment before kissing her again, "I'll go run your bath" she smiled, "you look exhausted, you can have a bath while I have a shower and sort out the laundry and then I'll wash your hair and you we can have an early dinner and settle down for the night."

Shelby ran Rachel a bath, making sure to add plenty of bubbles, and helped her cover her cast before heading into her ensuite to shower. She stood under the warm water for a moment before the events of the past day caught up with her and she fell to her knees as she sobbed. It was bad enough when she found out how awful Rachel's home life had been, but now she knew that she hadn't even been able to escape when she was at school. She didn't know how Rachel was strong enough to keep going, she was sure she'd have broken years ago had she been put in Rachel's situation, all she wanted was for her baby to be safe and loved, she thought Hiram and Leroy Berry would at least give her that, how wrong she had been. She sat under the shower for almost twenty minutes, her body heaving as she sobbed, she cried until she had no more tears left to cry before pulling herself together, she needed to be strong for Rachel, she needed Rachel to feel like she could turn to her whenever she needed to, Rachel didn't need her mother falling apart. She washed quickly, wrapping her hair in a towel she dried herself off and slipped on some clean pyjamas before picking up her dirty laundry and heading downstairs. "Rachel" she tapped gently on the bathroom door as she walked past, "I'm out of the shower, If you need me I'll be downstairs, I'm going to do some laundry and make us some dinner, do you want anything in particular?"

"No" Rachel replied from behind the door, "I, I don't mind."

Shelby smiled, Rachel sounded exhausted, "I can't really be bothered to cook anything" she admitted, "how about we order takeout when you're out of the bath?"

The bathroom door creaked open and Shelby found herself face to face with her daughter wrapped in the largest, softest towel Shelby owned, "I thought it was a bit silly talking through the door" Rachel explained shyly, "and I haven't got anything clean to change into in here."

Shelby laughed and dumped her dirty laundry on the floor, "come on then" she smiled wrapping her arm around Rachel's shoulder and leading her back to the bedroom. "Is takeout okay?" she asked as she stood looking into her closet to give Rachel some privacy as she changed, "if you'd rather I cooked something then I don't mind."

"I, I don't know if I like takeout, I've never had anything like that before."

Shelby mentally slapped herself, of course Rachel wouldn't have had anything like that, "that's okay sweetheart, we'll order a few things for you to try, if you like them then you can eat them, if not I'll make you something to eat and I'll feast on takeout. We'll have a look at the menu downstairs and see if there's anything you like the sound of."

Rachel sighed, she was sure takeout was horribly expensive and after the last week she didn't want Shelby spending a penny more on her, "I'm not really hungry" the familiar line slipped easily from her lips, "I can just have an apple or something."

Shelby shook her head, "you need more than an apple sweetheart, you need to eat so your body can recover. How about I just order what I usually get and some extra rice dishes or something, you can try what I order and if you like it we can share if you don't I can quickly do you some veggies or something to have with some rice, how does that sound?"

Rachel nodded, rice wasn't that expensive right? "Okay" she reluctantly agreed.

"Here" Shelby expertly picked up some of her chicken chow mein with the chopsticks she held in her right hand, "try this" she held her left hand under the chopsticks as she fed Rachel, "do you like it?"

Rachel nodded, "yeah, it's nice."

"Good" Shelby emptied half of the plastic container onto Rachel's plate, "help yourself to rice and prawn crackers, do you want a fork or would you prefer a spoon?" she asked moving over to the cutlery drawer.

"A fork's fine." Rachel picked at her food, watching as Shelby even ate her rice with chopsticks.

"Do you want a go?" Shelby asked when she noticed Rachel watching her, "there's another pair here" she picked them up, "there's nothing to it when you know how." She passed Rachel the chopsticks, "put them like this" she demonstrated with her own chopsticks, "then hold them like, yeah, that's it, you've got it" she smiled, "try something easy first like a piece of chicken." Rachel tried to pick up the piece of chicken but she couldn't get the chopsticks to do what she wanted and they fell out of her hands and onto her plate. "Almost" Shelby said encouragingly, "but try it like this" she placed the chopsticks back in Rachel's hand but then wrapped her hand around her daughter's, moving her fingers until she had a piece of chicken and some noodles firmly between her chopsticks, "there, now you just need to get it to your mouth" Shelby smiled as she took her hand from Rachel's.

Rachel ate the food her mom had helped her pick up before trying again and this time just picking up noodles, "I did it" she grinned as she held the chopsticks in mid air over her plate.

"You did sweetheart, it's easy when you know how right?"

Rachel nodded, "thanks for showing me how to do it."

Shelby couldn't help but smile, she'd never seen anyone so excited about something so simple , "It's no problem" she said truthfully. The pair ate mostly in silence but Shelby was pleased when she noticed Rachel had eaten a lot more than she usually did, "give me five minutes to clear the table and send Amy a text and then we'll go wash your hair" Shelby smiled once all the food had been eaten. She sent Rachel to watch tv for a couple of minutes whilst she set the dishwasher going and started a new load of laundry, "I'm just going to text Amy then I'm ready" she said, flopping down on the sofa beside Rachel and picking up her phone from the coffee table. '_Sorry I haven't called, slept most of the day, will call 2mro. Showed R how to use chopsticks, acted like I'd given her the world x'._

Amy's reply came almost instantly, _'you're an ace mom :) don't worry about calling me. Love you both xx'_

Shelby smiled, "Amy sends her love" she told Rachel before sending a final text to her sister, '_Love you too, talk soon x' "_do you want to go wash your hair?" Shelby asked, "or do you want to watch the end of this?"

Rachel shook her head, "I'm not really watching this. I can't ever seem to concentrate on the tv."

Shelby smiled sadly, "come on then" she said, "let's go wash your hair." She sent Rachel upstairs before going back into the kitchen and picking up a small plastic stool, pausing only to grab a couple of towels from the landing on the bathroom, "let's go in the ensuite" Shelby told Rachel, "it'll be easier in there because the shower's over the bath." Rachel nodded and followed Shelby into the ensuite, "Lily likes to bake" Shelby explained when she saw Rachel frowning at the stool she had in her hands, "she stands on here so she can reach the counter but I thought you could sit on it, the doctor said you shouldn't bend too far because of the blood rushing to your head."

Rachel nodded, "okay."

"Sit down then" Shelby smiled, "sit with your back against the bath and then you can just lean your head back." She folded up the smaller of the two towels she'd bought, "here, put this under your neck to make yourself more comfortable". There was silence as Shelby turned on the shower, "is that okay?" she asked once the water had warmed up and she began to wet Rachel's hair, "it's not too hot or cold?"

"No" Rachel shook her head slightly, "it's fine thank you."

"Okay" Shelby smiled, "I'm going to use my shampoo because I forgot to pick yours up". She lathered up the creamy liquid in her hands before beginning to run it through Rachel's hair, "when was the last time you had a haircut?" she asked, noticing her daughter had quite a few split ends.

"I don't know" Rachel said sadly, "I used to cut it myself when it got too long."

Shelby sighed sadly as she began to rinse Rachel's hair, "I'll make you an appointment with my hairdresser if you'd like, you can either just get a trim or you can get a whole new style, it's up to you. When your arm's healed we could go to the spa, make a day of it, maybe get a massage or a facial or something" she suggested as she reached for the conditioner. She didn't notice the tears in Rachel's eyes until she was rinsing away the last of the conditioner, "baby" she whispered, her voice full of concern, "what's the matter?" she squeezed most of the water out of Rachel's hair before taking the large towel and wrapping it around the girl's head and pulling her into a hug, "did I hurt you?" she asked as Rachel began to sob into her chest.

Rachel shook her head as she clung to Shelby, "you love me" she sobbed, "you love me and they didn't. I don't understand."

"Oh sweetheart" Shelby began to rub at Rachel's back, "you're right, I do love you but I can't explain why your fathers did what they did, I've asked myself that question so many times, I wish I knew, but I do know it was nothing you did. Nothing you could ever do would make it 'right' for them to treat you like they did sweetheart. All I can tell you is that you're safe here and I will always love you. You've got your appointment with the therapist tomorrow, I rearranged it while you were sleeping this morning, you can talk about this there too."

"Will you stay with me?" Rachel asked shyly.

"I'll go in with you and stay for a little while but then I'll leave you to talk. I promise you I'll wait right outside but I want you to be able to talk freely without worrying about what I'm thinking, and if you feel like you don't 'click' with the therapist, if you're not comfortable with them then please tell me darling so we can find someone new."

"I'm tired" she whispered.

"I know you are sweetheart" she hugged Rachel tighter for a moment, rubbing her back to calm her down before helping her to her feet. She guided Rachel to a dressing table Rachel hadn't noticed was in her mother's bedroom, "sit down" Shelby gestured to the stool, waiting for Rachel to sit before she began to gently dry her hair with the towel. Once it was mostly dry she picked up a comb from the table and began to carefully brush out Rachel's damp hair until it as knot free when she braided it loosely so it didn't tangle in the night, "come on then sleepyhead" she dropped a kiss to Rachel's forehead, "bed time."

They laid quietly for a while before Shelby asked Rachel to scoot over so she could get up, "where are you going?" Rachel asked quietly as Shelby headed for the door.

"I'm going downstairs to get some crackers and a bottle of water, that way of you need to take a pill in the night you can."

"You're coming back right?"

Shelby walked back over to the bed and placed her hand gently on Rachel's cheek, "baby I'm going to the kitchen and then I'll be right back up, I promise."

"Okay" Rachel nodded.

"Two minutes "Shelby promised as she straightened the sheets around Rachel's tiny body, "I'll be back in two minutes." As promised Shelby came straight back from the kitchen, placing a bottle of water and a packet of crackers on the sideboard. "Oh baby" Shelby noticed the tears rolling down Rachel's cheeks as she climbed into the bed, "you're okay" she wiped the tears away and pulled Rachel to lay on her chest, "you're okay baby, you're okay."

Rachel woke a little after 3am to take another dose of painkillers and she was still fast asleep when Shelby woke to the sound of her phone vibrating just before 10, "Shelby Corcoran" she answered sleepily, not recognising the number, before yawning as she stepped onto the landing so she didn't wake Rachel.

"It's Coach Sylvester" came the reply on the other end, "is now a bad time?"

"No, no" Shelby shook her head to try and wake herself up a bit, "it's fine, what can I do for you."

"I looked at the cctv tapes" Sue got straight to the point, "you can't see Rachel being pushed but she is surrounded by a group of hockey players right before she falls. I'm keeping the original tape under lock and key but I gave a copy to Principal Figgins and, last night I left another copy with the Lima police department. I'm not going to let this be swept under the carpet, could you and Rachel come in this afternoon to meet with Principal Figgins and myself? He might not want to face up to the problems in his school but I'm not going to let him pretend this never happened."

"I'm sure we can" Shelby nodded, "I need to speak to the guidance counsellor anyway, Rachel's going to be off school for a while and I want to make sure she doesn't fall behind in her studies."

"Okay, I'll make sure she's available. I'm going to ask someone from the police station to sit in on the meeting too so Rachel only has to tell her story once."

"Thank you."

"How's she doing?"

Shelby sighed, "it's hard to tell. Her physical injuries will heal in time, she's got an appointment with a therapist this afternoon so hopefully we can make a start on fixing the mental injuries. She's sleeping at the moment, her painkillers knocked her out. Her appointment this afternoon is at three thirty, what time would you like us to come in?"

"How's 1pm?"

"That's fine" One was early enough to give her plenty of time to get to Rachel's therapist appointment but late enough for Rachel to sleep a little longer.

"I'll meet you at the main entrance" Sue told Shelby, I'm going to make a few calls this morning, I have contacts at the local news channel and I think the education board would be interested in this.

Shelby nodded even though she knew Sue couldn't see her and frowned when she heard whimpers coming from her bedroom. "I'm going to have to go" she told the cheer coach, "I think Rachel's waking up."

Sue understood, "Okay, I'll see you both later. 1pm at the front entrance"

"We'll be there." Shelby said before saying her goodbyes and ending the call. She found Rachel tossing and turning in the bed, she sat down on the edge of the bed and brushed a stray piece of hair back from Rachel's face before beginning to sing softly, _"Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place, suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace, suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste, it all revolves around you. And there's no mountain too high, no river too wide, sing out this song and I'll be there by your side. Storm clouds may gather, and stars may collide but I will love you, until the end of time. Come what may, come what may. I will love you until my dying day" _She ran her hands over Rachel's head, pausing to play with the strands of hair that had worked loose from the braid. Rachel sighed in her sleep and curled into Shelby, nuzzling her face against her mother's thigh.

Rachel woke a little before eleven to find herself laid with her head in her mother's lap as the elder woman sat back against the headboard reading one of the many celebrity magazines Amy had bought for Rachel when she was in hospital, "Mom" she mumbled sleepily.

"Hey" Shelby let the magazine fall to the floor, "how are you feeling?"

"I, wha.. wh... Momma" she finally sighed.

Shelby smiled, Rachel was adorable when she'd just woken, it was as if it took her brain a few minutes longer than her body to wake up, "I'm here darling, take your time."

"What time is it?" Rachel finally asked

"Almost eleven, the doctor was right, those painkillers really do knock you out. Are you hungry?"

"Yeah" Rachel whispered, "a little" she paused for a moment, "how long have you been up?"

"Only about an hour or so"

"You didn't have to lay with me."

"I didn't mind" Shelby said truthfully, "I got up to answer the phone, when I came back you were tossing and turning, I sat beside you and you cuddled into me"

"I'm sorry" Rachel mumbled into the duvet as her stomach rumbled loudly.

"Don't be, if I'd have minded I'd have found a way to get out, now lets go get some breakfast, my mom always said that an army marches on it's stomach and we've got a busy day today" Shelby said as she helped Rachel from the bed, she wasn't going to tell her about the meeting at school, not until they were almost there, she didn't ever want Rachel worrying about anything more than she had to.


	13. Chapter 13

**Saviour **- What if the men Shelby gave her baby to hadn't been the loving parents she thought they would be

**Rating** - T

**Characters** - Shelby & Rachel

**A/N -**This chapter's a little shorter than usual but it seemed to come to a natural end. I'm going on holiday for a week on Wednesday but I'm hoping to have the next chapter up before I go.

* * *

Shelby sat beside Rachel on the sofa after breakfast, "you know you have your appointment with the therapist later?" she asked and Rachel nodded in response, "well we need to call into your school before your appointment."

She saw Rachel pale, "please" Rachel began to beg, "you said you wouldn't make me go back."

"I'm not making you go back" Shelby was quick to reassure her daughter, "we're going to meet with Principal Figgins and Coach Sylvester to talk about what happened on Wednesday and then we're going to speak to Miss Pillsbury to try and figure out how to stop you falling behind whilst you're off school. I will be with you the whole time I promise. You will not be going back there until we are both 100% certain that you will be safe."

"You're staying with me?"

"Of course I am. I know it might be hard for you to believe but sweetheart you're safe here, I would never force you to do anything that might put you at risk, Coach Sylvester and I will be there with you. We're on you're side darling, we just need to talk about what happened before you fell."

"I didn't fall" Rachel whispered quietly, "the hockey players pushed me."

Shelby wrapped her arm around Rachel and kissed her softly, "that's what Coach Sylvester thought happened, she's already looked at the CCTV tapes but that means this meeting is even more important so the people that did this to you can be punished."

"I've spoken to the education board" Sue told Shelby later that afternoon, "Figgins doesn't know this but someone will be in to talk about what happened by the end of the day" Sue said as she walked towards the main office with Shelby and Rachel, "this isn't the first time he's tried to brush something under the carpet and to be honest, I can't see him keeping his job over something like this. He's the principal, he should have dealt with this as soon as it happened but he buried his head in the sand and hoped it would all go away. If you were to show interest in becoming a principal, I would be happy to support you" she suggested.

Shelby chuckled slightly and shook her head, "I don't think so. I resigned at Carmel so I could spend more time with Rachel, I'd probably get to spend less time with her if I was principal here than if I still coached VA at Carmel. Maybe you should go for it though?"

"I planned to" Sue said matter of factly.

"Regardless of who's principal, something needs to be done about the bullying here and if there's anything I can do to help, either as an ex teacher at a school that didn't tolerate bullying or as a parent of, well, you know what happened to Rachel."

Sue nodded, "I'll keep that in mind" she pushed open the door to Figgins' office, "Figgins, we need to talk" she said firmly.

"Sue, this is highly inappropriate, if you want a meeting then you need to schedule some time with my secretary, I think I have an opening sometime next..."

"No" Sue interrupted him, "Rachel was seriously injured in this building a couple of days ago, she's lucky she wasn't paralysed or killed. Emma will be joining us soon along with an officer from the Lima police department so we can get this sorted out, you've seen the CCTV, those brutes need to be punished and you won't do anything about it so I am."

Emma arrived a few minutes after Sue had burst into Figgins' office and a female police officer arrived not long after Emma and immediately set up a tape recorder so Rachel wouldn't have to give a second statement at the police station, "Rachel" the police officer spoke softly after Sue had demanded Figgins' secretary made them all tea, "I've seen the CCTV tapes from Tuesday but I need you to tell me, in your own words, what happened. There's no rush, take your time."

"I, I was in Biology, I'd left my textbook in my locker and Miss Hanson said we'd be using it later in the lesson so she wrote me a pass so I could go fetch it, I, I was walking along the corridor, I didn't even see them coming."

"Them?" the police officer prompted.

"The hockey players" the police officer nodded and Rachel continued with her story , "they were mad that my Mom had found out about the slushies and they weren't allowed to bring them into school any more. They said they'd had to think of a new way to show me where I belonged and I shouldn't be at the top. I didn't even know that we'd walked to the top of the stairs until I felt something on my shoulders. I tried to grab the handrail, I really did but then I was in the ambulance and coach Sylvester was there and I was sick, I'm sorry."

Shelby reached for Rachel's hand, "Baby, you don't need to apologise, none of this was your fault."

The police officer smiled and nodded, "what you've just told me is really helpful but I need to ask you a couple of questions" Rachel nodded and she asked her first question, "what do you mean they were angry that your mom had found out about the slushies?"

"Some of the more popular students like to assert their 'power' by throwing slushies at the students they deem to be least popular. Most teachers like to look the other way but I helped Rachel out after some hockey platers slushied her on Monday, I called Miss Corcoran and she came in to collect Rachel and she told Principal Figgins to do something about it. I believe he gave the students a one day suspension as well as banning slushies from the grounds" Sue answered for Rachel.

"Did you see this happen?" The police officer asked. Sue nodded, "Were the people involved in Monday's incident the same people that came up to you in the corridor on Wednesday?" she turned her attention back to Rachel and she too nodded, "can you give me any names?"

Rachel named a couple of the hockey players including the one that had threatened her before she was pushed, and Sue helped name the rest of the students, "what happens now?" Shelby asked.

"We pay the students you named a visit, I assume we can get their home addresses from your records without the need for a warrant"

"We can't just give out infor..." Figgins began before Sue interrupted him.

"I'll get them for you on your way out."

The police officer thanked Sue, "We pay them a call, probably take them in for questioning, with the CCTV tapes and Rachel's statements, it's looking like an assault charge, the CCTV is really clear so that's going to work in your favour, they'll probably be released until it goes to court, if you're pressing charges that is, but they won't be allowed near Rachel so there's nothing to worry about."

"You won't get away with this" Sue told Figgins once the policewoman had left, "I'll make sure of that." She turned to Shelby, "I've got a few calls to make. I'll call you when I've got more information."

"Thanks" Shelby shook Sue's hand before turning her attention to Rachel, "are you okay?"

"Yeah" Rachel nodded, "I think so."

Emma smiled at the mother and daughter before speaking for the first time since she'd entered the room, "do you want to move into my office?" she could tell Figgins was furious, "I can bring up Rachel's schedule so we can work out how we can keep her up to date."

Shelby nodded, "I think that would be a good idea."

Rachel, Emma and Shelby spent almost half an hour talking before they came up with a way for Rachel to keep up with her school work. The doctor at the hospital had recommended Rachel take at least six weeks off from school to recover from her head injury and Shelby intended to keep her at home until Rachel's safety could be guaranteed. They agreed that Emma would collect Rachel's work throughout the week and Shelby would collect it on a Friday afternoon so Rachel would only ever be a week behind her peers.

In Rachel's opinion the drive to the therapist's office passed far to quickly and before she knew it she was sat beside Shelby in the waiting room. "Sweetheart" Shelby placed her hand on Rachel's trembling thigh, "calm down, you're okay."

"You're coming in with me right?" Rachel tightly clutched Shelby's hand with her own.

"I'm coming in with you" Shelby reassured her, "can you remember what I said? I'd go in with you and stay for a little while until you were settled and then I'd wait right outside the door for you to be done."

"Promise? You're not going to leave me here?"

"No" Shelby shook her head, "I promise I won't ever leave. I will be right outside the door and you can check that as often as you feel you need to. You can walk out with me and see exactly where I'll wait. I promise you sweetheart that I won't be going anywhere."

"Rachel Berry" before Rachel had chance to reply a woman who looked only slightly older than Shelby called Rachel's name.

"Come on" Shelby stood and held her hand out to Rachel, "let's get this done, the sooner you're in there the sooner you'll see it's not as bad as you're worrying it will be."

"You must be Rachel" the therapist said as Shelby and Rachel approached her, "I'm Alice" she held out her hand for Rachel to shake, "you can call me Alice or you can call me Dr Moore, whichever you feel more comfortable with."

"Shelby Corcoran" Shelby introduced herself.

"Ah yes" the therapist said with a smile as she held out her hand for Shelby to shake, "You're Rachel's Mom" she turned her attention back to Rachel, "Do you want your Mom to sit in for a while?"

Rachel nodded and reached blindly for her Mom's hand which Shelby took and squeezed softly. "you're okay" she tried to reassure her daughter.

"Here we are" Alice smiled as she opened the door to her office, the walls were painted in a pale green colour and there were several chairs scattered around the room, "take a seat" she gestured into the room, "wherever you think you'll be most comfortable."

Rachel stood in the doorway for a minute before looking to Shelby, "go on" the mother spoke softly, "where do you want to sit?"

It took a moment but Rachel eventually sat on the white leather sofa in the corner of the room, waiting until Shelby sat beside her and moving to sit as close to her Mom as she could without sitting on Shelby's knee.

"I'd like to go over a few ground rules before we start" Alice said as she moved a chair to sit opposite the sofa, "Everything you say in here Rachel is in total confidence, I won't even tell your Mom unless you ask me to tell her something. If however you told me anything that would make me worry for your safety then I have to tell someone, whether that be your Mom or your Social worker but I will always consult you before I go to someone else okay?" Rachel nodded and Alice smiled, "if you want your mom to sit in on any sessions, either because you want to talk to both of us about something or because you want me to act as a mediator then that's absolutely fine you just need to let me know, similarly if there's something you want to talk to your Mom about but you don't know how to go about it then let me know, we can either bring her to sit in on a session or I can have a word with her and ask her to start that conversation at home."

Rachel nodded, "okay" she whispered slowly.

"I'm on your side Rachel" Alice said with a friendly smile, "I won't ever force you to talk about anything, if you want to sit in silence for a session or you want to talk about what you've seen on tv or what you've had for dinner then we can do that, or if you'd rather I read a journal entry or a letter you've written or anything else then that is absolutely okay. You're in control of these sessions, we can go as slowly or as quickly as you like."

"Thank you" Rachel mumbled.

"Rach" Shelby spoke softly, "I think now's a good time for me to step outside so you can talk to Alice."

Alice watched Rachel's eyes widen in fear, "you're not leaving?"

"I told you" Shelby cupped Rachel's face in her hands, "I'll wait right outside the door" she looked to Alice, "that's okay right?"

Alice nodded, "that's fine."

"I'll be right by the door Rach, I'm not going anywhere without you I promise." She kissed Rachel's head, "I will be right outside, if you're worried you can come check I've not gone anywhere" she reached into her handbag, "I've even bought one of those rubbish gossip mags Amy bought you to read while I wait."

Alice saw Rachel was terrified that Shelby would abandon her and knew that would be something she'd have to address, "how about we do this slowly, this week why don't we go and sit in the corner" she gestured to two armchairs in the furthest corner by the door, "and Mom can sit by the door so she's still in the room, that is if you don't mind her being in here?" She looked Shelby in the eye and was glad to see her nod, signalling she was okay with the suggestion.

"How about that darling?" Shelby asked Rachel, "I'll be just by the door."

"And you won't leave?"

Shelby shook her head, "I'll be just there by the door and you'll be right across the room."

Rachel thought for a moment before nodding, "okay."

"Good girl" Shelby kissed her head, "I love you" she stood to move over to the door.

"I love you too." Rachel said as she reluctantly let go of Shelby's hand and moved to sit in the corner of the room with Alice.

"Hi" Alice smiled softly as Rachel curled herself into the chair

"Hi" Rachel couldn't look the woman in the eye.

"Do you want to jump straight in at the deep end or would you like us to wade in slowly?"

"I don't mind" Rachel mumbled almost inaudibly.

"Is it just you and your Mom at home?" Alice asked, "no brothers or sisters?"

Rachel shook her head, "My, my mom was a surrogate for my fathers, they were, they are gay. They said having me put them off having any more children."

Alice nodded and knew she was probably approaching a minefield, "have you lived with your Mom long?"

Rachel shook her head, "two weeks today."

"If I ask something you don't want to answer then tell me, or ignore me and I'll take the hint and move on." She took a moment before asking, "why do you live with your Mom now?"

"They got sick of me, they left me on her doorstep, I didn't even know who she was. It was pouring with rain and they didn't even know if she was in before they left but she loved me, from the minute she opened the door she's loved me." Thoughts were spilling from Rachel's mouth almost as fast as the tears were spilling down her cheeks and Shelby raised her magazine higher so that Rachel wouldn't be able to see her tears if she turned round.

"Do you want to tell me what things were like when you lived with your fathers?"

Shelby heard Rachel take a shaky breath, "I was only allowed out of the basement to go to school or do chores" she whispered, her head bowed, tears rolling freely down her cheeks, "when I got home from school I had to wait on the back porch until one of them unlocked the door to let me in."

"What if the weather was bad?"

Rachel shrugged, "it didn't matter. Sometimes it was dark before they let me in" she admitted.

Alice nodded, "what happened after you were let in the house?"

Rachel sighed, "I had to do more chores and make dinner for my fathers, once their dinner was made I had to go into the basement, there was no light so I tried to sleep but..."

"But what?" Alice prompted carefully.

"I wasn't allowed a bed, I had some blankets but I had a nightmare and, and" Shelby could tell Rachel was getting worked up, "I had an accident because of the nightmares and they told me I was disgusting, I didn't even deserve the sheets so they took them away and gave me puppy training pads to sleep on."

Alice smiled sadly, "have you had any accidents whilst you've been living with your Mom?" Rachel nodded, her gaze fixed firmly on her knees, "how did she react?"

"The first night, she stripped the bed and gave me some clean clothes to change into but she didn't have any clean sheets so she let me share her bed. She bought extra sheets the next day and a cover for the mattress but, we, erm, I don't have the nightmares when she's there so she's let me sleep in her bed."

"Here's the question you've probably been waiting for since you walked through that door, how do you feel about that?"

"A, about my Mom?" Rachel clarified.

"Yeah" Alice nodded, "if you don't want to talk about it while she's in the room then that's absolutely fine."

"She, she already knows that I think she's doing too much."

"Can I tell you something?" Alice asked, only continuing when Rachel nodded, "your Mom is always going to worry about you, she's got an inbuilt 'Mom switch', once it's turned on there's no turning it off. I'm, well, let's just say I'm more than twice as old as you are and my Mom still calls to check I'm eating properly and to ask if I'm wearing a hat and a vest in winter. She says I'll understand when I have a child of my own."

"My Mom said she doesn't think I'll ever understand how much she loves me until I have my own family"

Alice smiled, "I think she might be right, mom's usually are. Alice glanced at the clock, "our hour's almost up but I think our session's gone really well, no matter what you might think right now, we can get you past this, It sounds like what your fathers put you through was awful and we don't want to brush that aside, but at the same time we need to help you realise that that's not what you deserve, your father's are in the wrong, not you. You deserve all the love you get from your Mom, we'll work on trying to get you to trust her a little more so you don't have to worry that she's going to leave you. We can get you through this Rachel, it won't be quick or easy but we'll get there, things will get better."

Rachel nodded, "that's what my Mom said."

"See" Alice smiled and nodded to Shelby signalling that she could come back over to Rachel, "Mom's are always right."


	14. Chapter 14

**Saviour **- What if the men Shelby gave her baby to hadn't been the loving parents she thought they would be

**Rating** - T

**Characters** - Shelby & Rachel

**A/N -**Really wanted to update this before I went on holiday but I couldn't get all the parts to link together how I wanted them to. I hope it was worth the wait!

The next couple of chapters will be Rachel's birthday Christmas so let me know if there's anything you'd like to see happen.

* * *

Shelby glanced over at Rachel on the drive home, it was the first day in a while that Rachel had gone without a nap and Shelby could tell her daughter was exhausted, both mentally and physically, "are you okay?" She asked Rachel. Rachel nodded but said nothing, "you look tired" again Rachel nodded but said nothing, "you can have a lie down when we get in if you like. Have a bit of a nap before dinner and then we'll have an early night."

"Will you lie with me?" Rachel asked quietly, speaking for the first time since they'd got in the car.

"I'll lie with you until you fall asleep but I need to call my Mom and Amy, I'll do that while you're sleeping, is that okay?"

Rachel nodded, she could hardly say otherwise could she. "Thank you."

"It's okay darling, if I'm not there when you wake you can come and find me, don't be afraid to walk around the house , you don't need to wait until I say it's okay for you to get up."

"Thank you."

"Don't thank me darling, you're not staying in my house, you're living in our home, you have just as much right to get up and wander around as I do, and I'll warn you now, there will be many times when you walk into a room and find me trying to wonder why I'm in there."

Rachel smiled before yawning slightly, she knew nothing she could ever say or do would show Shelby how grateful she was for everything she'd done so she said the only thing she could, "I love you Mom" although she wasn't lying it was partly a selfish action, she couldn't get enough of Shelby's response, a response Shelby was more than happy to give.

"I love you too darling." She was convinced if she told Rachel she loved her often enough, the scared teen would begin to believe it.

They were soon pulling onto the drive and after a small snack Rachel took her painkiller and within minutes was fast asleep on the sofa wrapped in the same blanket Shelby gave her to warm up the night her fathers left. Shelby kissed Rachel's head and straightened out the blankets before taking her phone into the kitchen and calling her sister, "Hey Shel" Amy answered after two rings, "is everything okay?"

"Yeah, are you okay to chat?"

"Fine" Amy said, as she made herself comfortable, chats with Shelby were never short, "how's Rachel?"

"She's okay I think" Shelby said truthfully as she turned on the radio to help Rachel find her should she wake up, "we had a meeting at the school today, and she had her first appointment with the therapist so she's pretty worn out, she fell asleep almost as soon as she got through the door."

"How did it go with the therapist?"

"Better than I expected. She had a bit of a meltdown when I suggested I waited outside but the therapist dealt with it, I sat by the door but in the room whilst she and Rachel were in the far corner, she said we'd work up to Rachel going in alone whilst I waited in reception. I was surprised at how quickly she opened up though." Shelby paused for a minute, "I think I might ask her if she can recommend someone for me to see too."

Amy sighed, "that might be for the best. I know Rachel's been through a lot but this can't have been easy for you either."

"I guess I'm just a little worried about telling Rachel, I don't want her to blame herself for me needing therapy."

"I think you just need to be honest with her, tell her it's hard for you to get your head around the fact she wasn't being treated like a princess and you need someone to work through that with. Being a parent is tough Shel, it's okay to say you need help, you don't need to fight through this on your own." She paused for a moment, "it's better that you act now instead of leaving things until they blow up, and don't worry about Rachel, she can come over here while you do whatever you need to do or I'll take the kids to Mom's so Rachel doesn't have to put up with the chaos that seems to follow Max and Lil wherever they go. Things might not be easy but you're not in this alone Shelly, I'm going to help you both, and you know Mom will be suffocating when she meets Rachel, and you'd just have to call Luke or Matt and they'd drop everything to come help you out."

Shelby sighed, "When did my baby sister get so smart?"

Amy laughed, "Your baby sister's got two babies of her own."

"I know. I love you Amy."

"I love you too Shellybelly"

"I'll tell Dad" Shelby warned, trying to lighten the mood, "he's told you not to call me names. I'd love to see Maxie's face when Dad puts you in timeout!"

Amy laughed again, "Won't happen Shellybelly, you know I can wrap him around my finger." There was silence for a minute before Amy spoke again, "Mom said we're having Christmas on Boxing Day?"

"Yeah. Is that okay? It's just it's Rachel's first Christmas here, it's probably the first Christmas she's celebrated in God knows how long, I, I don't want her to be overwhelmed by everyone, and there's a part of me that really just wants to do something quiet, the two of us. I want to give her all the things she's never had, I'm going to take her to the beach when the weather starts to get better, and I've been looking at summer vacations. I think I'm going to get her a pet too, I thought maybe a cat but I quite like the idea of one of those big house rabbits."

"Lily would want to ride it" Amy laughed, "but I think she'd love that."

"It's her birthday soon, I've got her an iPod and some other bits I've ordered online but I thought we could get the rabbit or cat or whatever then too."

"What can we get her? I've no idea what to get her for Christmas or her birthday, maybe some iTunes gift vouchers if you've got her an iPod?"

Shelby nodded, "that would be good. I'm going to order her a tv to go in her room for Christmas, I'll probably have it delivered to your house so she doesn't see it, but maybe you and Jim could get her a DVD player or something? I'm going to ask Mom and the boys if they'd get her DVDs or amazon vouchers or something. She's never had anything Amy, I'm sure she'll be grateful even if you just got her a card."

"Yeah" Amy laughed slightly, "not going to happen, we'll get her a DVD player for Christmas and maybe an iPod dock or something for her birthday. I'll get gift vouchers from the kids, even though they'll probably pick her something out themselves."

"Don't go mad" Shelby almost begged, "I don't want it all to be too much for her."

"I'll talk to Mom and the boys" Amy told Shelby, "I'll bring her presents over the night before her birthday if you'd like, then you can do what you think best, give her a few at a time throughout the day or whatever, I know everyone's excited to meet her."

"She likes reading" Shelby told her sister, "I've ordered a bookcase for her room and bought her a couple of books but she hates me spending money on her..."

Amy took the hint, "I'm sure Max and Lily would love to choose some books out for her."

"I hope it won't be too much for her. She gets overwhelmed so easily, I want this to be something she can remember in a good way."

"It won't be" Amy told Shelby, "Mom's already called the boys, told them to speak to all the kids, she said she doesn't want everybody piling on you and Rachel the second you walk through the door."

"Thanks" Shelby nodded, "I'm going to have a word with her before we go to Mom's, try and tell her that it's okay if she wants to go upstairs or outside for a few minutes to get away from it all. I doubt she will though, she'd rather suffer through it"

"I'll have a word with Jim, we'll keep an eye on her."

"Thanks Amy."

"Don't worry Shel, you've done more than enough for me, It's only fair I repay the favour now I can"

Shelby didn't have time to reply before she heard a loud crash and almost immediately Max's voice yelling, "Mom, you need to come quick!"

"I've got to go Shel" she said quickly, "give my love to Rachel."

"I will, text me later, let me know your house is still standing."

"Mom, come now" Max shouted again.

"I'm coming, I'm coming" Amy told him, "I'll talk to you soon Shel" Amy said before hanging up and going to see what chaos her children were causing now.

Shelby meanwhile called her Mom, they talked for a while about how Rachel was doing, and then, much like it had with Amy, talk turned to Rachel's birthday and Christmas, the former being less than a fortnight away. Shelby's Mom promised to talk to her brothers and get Rachel's presents to Amy before her birthday, there was no way any of her family were going to be talked out of spoiling the girl and Shelby could only be glad that they weren't insisting on visiting or throwing a party. Even if they did nothing but cuddle all day Shelby wanted Rachel to be happy, she wanted the girl to have a day to remember for all the right reasons.

Shelby frowned as she heard a knock at the door, it was late Friday afternoon and Rachel was once again dozing on the sofa, she frowned as she moved to answer the door, she wasn't expecting anyone, the only person who ever dropped by unannounced was Amy and she never knocked she just came straight in. "Hello" She frowned again as she came face to face with a woman she'd never met in her life.

"Are you Mrs Berry, Rachel's mom?" The woman asked, slightly unsure of herself.

"I'm not Mrs Berry but I am Rachel's mom. Shelby Corcoran" she held her hand our for the stranger to shake.

"Nina Kempton" the woman introduced herself, "My son, Sam, he was one of the Hockey players that have been bullying Rachel, the police came to interview him yesterday, I, I wanted to come round and apologise, I couldn't believe it when they said what he'd done, I thought i raised him better than that I really did. He got into trouble last year, he got into a fight with a boy who'd been bullying his sister so I thought he'd know better. I, I've got three kids, I work two jobs but I wanted to give you this" she held out an envelope to Shelby, not giving her chance to reply before speaking again, "it's two hundred dollars, I know it's not a lot but it's all I can afford, you can use it to pay off your insurance or treat Rachel. I wish I could give you more."

Shelby shook her head and refused to take the envelope from Nina, "please, you don't have to do that."

"I need to do something."

"It's not your place to, I don't want your other children to go without because of this."

"I, please, I'll make Sam work off the debt."

"Shelby shook her head, "I'd rather he worked off his debt to Rachel by working with disadvantaged children or something."

Nina nodded, "if you're sure."

"I am" Shelby said firmly, "I really do appreciate the gesture but it's unnecessary."

"I'm ashamed to call him my son right now, I thought he was better than this. It sounds awful but I want you to press charges, he needs to learn a lesson from this. I won't allow him back to McKinley, he's been suspended while this is investigated but I'll make sure he doesn't go back, Rachel should feel safe at school and punished or not I doubt Sam being there will help that."

Shelby nodded, she was still taken aback by this woman turning up on her doorstep, "thank you. Would you like to come in for a drink?"

Nina shook her head, "I should be going, I've left my girls at home, I guess I just wanted you to know I don't, I don't approve of this and I'm not going to try and talk you into dropping the charges, he deserves any punishment he gets." She didn't let Shelby reply before she turned and walked back to her car.

Shelby's phone started to ring almost as soon as she'd closed the door and she rushed to answer it before it woke Rachel, she wasn't surprised to see it was Sue calling her but she was surprised when she heard that Figgins had been suspended whilst what happened to Rachel was investigated and Sue herself was standing in as principal in the mean time. She was also surprised when Sue told her a pupil had asked for Rachel's address to pay her a visit, Sue had told the pupil she would check with Shelby that it was okay for her to give out her address. Shelby agreed it was okay for Sue to tell the student where she lived, Rachel had told her that she didn't have any friends but surely the fact someone wanted to pay her a visit said otherwise.

It was early Sunday afternoon when Rachel finally got a visitor, "Is this Rachel's house?" A tall boy asked Shelby as she opened the door, he wore ripped jeans and a white tshirt, his head was shaved apart from a thick strip down the middle of his head and he held a small box in his hands.

"It is" Shelby answered, "can I help you?"

"I'm Noah Puckerman" he told her, "I erm, I met Rachel at temple when we were younger. I heard what the hockey players did, I erm, I wanted to see how she was doing. I, I" he dropped his gaze to the floor, "I wanted to apologise to her too"

"Apologise?" Shelby raised an eyebrow.

"I'm on the football team" he said almost shyly, "I used to join in with the slushy facials and the name calling. I, I haven't joined in in a while but I didn't stop it either."

Shelby nodded, "any boy can do bad things to fit in with a crowd Noah" Shelby told him, "but it takes a man to be able to admit he was wrong and seek forgiveness, I'll have to ask Rachel if she's feeling up to visitors, but come in, you can wait in the hall while I go speak to her."

"My Ma made hamantashen" Noah told Shelby before she left, holding out the box towards the woman, "Rachel used to love them when we were younger" he explained as he held out the box towards Shelby.

"Thank you" Shelby smiled, "I'll be right back." She took the box Noah had given her through to the living room, "you've got a visitor" she said, setting the box down on the table, "Noah Puckerman. His Mom sent something you used to like when you were younger" she opened the box and Rachel's face lit up.

"Noah came round?" she asked, unable to believe what her mother was saying.

"He's in the hall, he wants to see you but I said I'd make sure you were okay with seeing him before I let him in." Rachel nodded slowly, "do you want to see him?"

Rachel took a deep breath, "I, I think I would."

"Okay" Shelby kissed Rachel's head and smiled, "I'll send him through, I'll either be in my office or in the basement if you want me." She stepped back out into the hall, "do you want to come through?" Noah nodded and slipped off his shoes before following Shelby into the living room.

"Hey" he said softly as he sat down beside Rachel.

"Can I get you some soda or something before I go?" Shelby asked

Noah nodded, "That'd be great, thanks."

Rachel looked at her Mom and Shelby could tell there was something on the girls mind, "soda Rach?"

Rachel took a shaky breath, "could I have apple juice?"

Shelby smiled and nodded, "of course" she left the room, returning a few moments later with soda for Noah, juice for Rachel and a bottle of water for herself, "can I take a couple of these with me?" she asked Noah as she gestured to the box of pastries, "they smell amazing".

"Sure, Ma made loads, there's chocolate, raspberry, apricot and apple" he gestured to the different flavours, "Ma made prune ones once, Rachel thought they were blueberry, she was so disappointed when she bit into it that Ma hasn't used prunes since."

"She always used to have them when I came round." Rachel admitted.

"She used to keep a supply ready just in case you came round" Noah laughed.

Shelby smiled, she'd have to speak to Noah's mom, see if she could find out more about what Rachel was like as a child, "I'll leave you to it" she said as she walked towards the door, "call me if you want anything."

"I'm sorry" Noah said as soon as Shelby left the room, "I, I'm sorry."

"You used to be my best friend Noah"

"I know and I'm sorry Rach, I shouldn't have done it, I should have stood up for you."

"It's okay" Rachel said quietly, "i understand, you did what you needed to do."

"It wasn't right though. You were my friend, I should have picked you over the jerks"

Rachel shrugged, still not able to look Noah in the eye, "we can't change that now" she said sadly.

"No" Noah agreed with her, "but it'll be different from now, I won't let them hurt you again Rach."

"Thank you." They sat in silence for a while before it became unbearable, "do you want to watch a DVD?" Rachel asked hoping Shelby wouldn't mind

"Sure" Noah smiled, "what have you got?"

"I'm not sure" Rachel frowned, "I think they're in here" she opened the cupboard under the tv and found Shelby's DVD collection.

"How about this?" Noah asked as he pulled out Aladdin, "for old times sake."

Rachel smiled, she and Noah had watched the film so many times when they were younger she was sure she could probably recite it word for word and she couldn't even begin to count the number of hours they'd spent in the Puckerman's back yard pretending to be Aladdin and Jasmine with nothing but an old bed sheet to use as their magic carpet and their imagination to entertain them.

"I'm about to make a start on dinner, would you like to stay?" Shelby asked Noah as she walked into the living room at almost 6.30.

"I'll have to call my Ma, make sure she's not made a start on anything."

"Okay, let me know when you've called her, I can run you home if she needs you back."

"Erm, Miss..." Noah trailed off as he realised he didn't know her name.

"Corcoron" Shelby finished off his sentence, "but call me Shelby."

"Shelby" Noah tried again, "Rachel's asleep. The movie finished ages ago but I didn't want to wake her."

It was only then that Shelby realised Rachel was curled in her usual position on the sofa with her head in Noah's lap and the tv was showing the opening menu to Aladdin, the remote on the coffee table just out of Noah's reach, "it's the painkillers she's got for her arm" Shelby explained, "they knock her out. I'll lift her so you can get out and call your Mom."

Shelby lifted the upper half of Rachel's body slowly into a sitting position, allowing Noah to slide out before she laid her daughter back down and covered her with the blanket that had been used more often since Rachel had moved in than in all the time Shelby had owned it. "I should get off" he gestured towards the door, "Rachel obviously needs to rest. She erm, she said we should hang out more" he ran his hand over his head, "me and some of the other guys are thinking of going to see a movie next week, Rachel's welcome to join us if she wants to, and if it's okay with you."

Shelby smiled and grabbed an old envelope and a pen from the sideboard, "do you want to leave your number? I'll get her to give you a call or a text or something."

"Thanks for letting me visit" Noah said as he scribbled down his number and made his way towards the door.

"It's okay" Shelby told him, "everyone deserves a second chance Noah, just make sure you don't waste it up."

"I won't" Noah said as he stepped out of the house, "I promise."


	15. Chapter 15

**Saviour **- What if the men Shelby gave her baby to hadn't been the loving parents she thought they would be

**Rating** - T

**Characters** - Shelby & Rachel

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"We're going to the cinema after school on Thursday" Noah had told Rachel on Sunday evening when she'd called to thank him for visiting, "you should come, it'll be fun".

Thursday morning saw Rachel have the cast on her arm changed, the bulky white cast she'd worn for just over a week was replaced with a lighter cast, she'd even choosen the colour herself, blue, it had taken her a while to decide but she'd made the decision all on her own, "it's okay to be nervous" Shelby told Rachel as they drove towards the cinema, "but I promise, if you want to come home you just have to call me and I'll come right back to get you."

"Okay" Rachel whispered.

"I've told you that I'll be at the mall for a little while" Shelby was going to use her time without her daughter to buy presents for her birthday in just a few days time, "but that doesn't matter, I'll still come get you, and if for whatever reason you can't get hold of me then don't panic, Amy's number is stored in her phone, I've called her already and she's promised she'll come get you too."

"Okay"

"You'll have a great time sweetheart, I know you will."

"Hey" Noah was waiting for Rachel outside the building, "you okay?"

"Yeah" Rachel nodded, "thanks."

"Cool" he smiled, "everyone else is inside."

"Call me when you're ready to come home" Shelby told Rachel before kissing her cheek and pulling $20 out of her purse, "have a great time."

"We were planning to get a pizza or something after the movie" Noah told Rachel and Shelby, "I can bring her home afterwards, it's no problem."

Shelby nodded and handed Rachel more money, "Okay, I don't mind picking you up, just let me know either way so I can be back from the mall in time if Noah brings you back."

"Okay."

"See you later darling" she kissed Rachel's head, "I love you."

"I love you too" Rachel whispered.

Noah waited patiently for Shelby and Rachel to say their goodbyes before leading her inside, finding the rest of 'the guys' by the soda machine, "Rachel, this is Mike and Matt" he introduced her to the two other boys, and "Quinn, Brittany and Santana." He gestured to the three cheerios and Rachel felt her heart stop, Quinn and Santana had, once upon a time, been the worst of the bullies but Quinn simply nodded in her direction and Santana didn't even look up from filing her nails, Brittany however almost knocked Rachel backwards as she flung her arms around her and pulled Rachel into a bone crushing hug, "B" Noah tapped her on the shoulder, "I think Rachel might need to take a breath."

"Sorry" Brittany grinned as she let go and took a step back, "I was just so happy that you're okay, Principal Sylvester told us you had to go to hospital, it made me sad." She didn't give Rachel chance to respond, "hey" she gently took hold of the fingers on Rachel's injured hand, "no one's signed your cast."

"It's new" Rachel explained quietly, "I only got it put on this morning."

"It' a cool colour" Brittany smiled, "when I fell off the cheer pyramid I got a pink cast, 'Tana and Q bought me unicorn stickers and we drew a magic castle on my cast so the unicorns had somewhere to live. We should get you some duck stickers and then your cast can be the duck pond, that would be so awesome".

Rachel was surprised when she found herself having a great time, Santana more or less ignored her but everyone else seemed to welcome her to the group with open arms, Brittany especially. She did however find herself worried when it came to ordering pizza but it didn't matter, they agrred to split the cost of three large pizzas and several sides then share everything, it meant Rachel didn't have to worry if she didn't order as much as everyone else.

"Do you need a ride" Noah asked once they were ready to leave the pizza restaurant, "I'm giving Matt and B a lift, San and Matt live closer to Quinn so she's taking them home."

"Sure" Rachel nodded, "I just need to call my mom and let her know."

Rachel hesitated for a moment when she got home, she didn't know whether she was allowed to walk straight into the house or if she had to wait for Shelby to let her in, but Noah was waiting to make sure Shelby was home so she took a deep breath and pushed open the door, pausing for a moment to wave to Noah and Brittany before stepping into the house, "Hey baby, I'm in the kitchen" Shelby called as she heard the door close. "Hey" she smiled as Rachel walked into the kitchen, "did you have a good time?"

"Yeah" Rachel smiled, "I did thank you...I, I'm sorry I just walked in, I was going to knock but Noah was waiting, he wanted to make sure you were home, I..."

"Rachel" Shelby interrupted, "this is your home, you don't have to knock, in fact I got you this while I was out." She picked up a small pink gift box from the sideboard and handed it to Rachel.

"It, it's not my birthday" Rachel was confused.

"It's a good job it's not a birthday present then" Shelby smiled gesturing for Rachel to open the box. Rachel gasped as she lifted the lid off the box to find a single key attatched to a large 'R' shaped keyring, "I thought, in the future, there are going to be times when I might be out running errands or something when you come back from spending time with friends or whatever, so you'll be needing your own key, you're free to come in and out as you like here, you don't need my permission to walk into this house."

"Thank you Momma" Rachel ran her fingers over the keyring as tears filled her eyes, "thank you."

"It's okay baby." Shelby pulled Rachel into a hug, if she was this greatful for a house key, Shelby could only imagine what she'd be like on her birthday.

"Hey baby" Shelby shook Rachel's shoulders gently a few days later, "it's time to wake up sweetheart." Rachel groaned and tossed in the bed for a while before finally opening her eyes, "Happy Birthday" Shelby said with a smile, "sit up, I've got something for you." Rachel allowed Shelby to help her to sit up before she was passed a small plate, "Happy Birthday" Shelby repeated as she saw Rachel's face light up at the sight of a chocolate muffin holding a lit candle.

"You remembered" Rachel whispered

"Baby" Shelby wiped a stray tear from Rachel's cheek, "I was in labour for the best part of three days, I won't ever forget, not to mention I'm your Mom, of course I'm going to remember, the day my beautiful daughter was born now you need to blow the candle out, make a wish but don't tell anyone or it won't come true."

Rachel blew at the candle, her wish was a simple one, she wished that her Momma wouldn't ever leave her. "What now?" she asked.

Shelby sighed softly, "you can either eat the cake now or you can save it for later and I can make you pancakes for breakfast, we could go back to sleep for a while or go downstairs and see if there's anything out of place, your birthday your choice" Shelby smiled to herself, She and Amy had spent almost two hours wrapping presents and blowing up baloons, Rachel was in for a big surprise when she got downstairs.

"Will you share the cake with me?" Rachel finally asked after thinking about her options for a while.

"If that's what you want" Shelby smiled, sitting on the bed beside her daughter, "do you want to eat here or downstairs?"

"Don't I have to get up?"

Shelby shook her head, "it's your birthday, you can do whatever you like, there's something I'd like to do later as part of your present but we don't have to do it today if you'd rather stay home."

"I, I get a present?" Rachel coudn't believe what Shelby was saying.

"Baby, Amy came round this morning before you woke with presents from everyone, you've got lots of presents."

"Why?"

"Because it's your birthday" Shelby said wih a smile before answering the question Rachel really asked, "because they are your family and they love you and they want you to have a great birthday."

"I, I, my fathers, we didn't celebrate."

"Okay" Shelby held her tightly, the muffin now forgotten, "but that doesnt mean we can't celebrate, but we don't have to if you're not comfortable, we can put the presents in the closet until you're ready or I can unwrap them for you, whatever you want."

"Can I see them?"

"The presents?" Rachel nodded and Shelby stood from the bed, holding her hand out for her daughter, "of course." They walked downstairs hand in hand, pausing only when they reached the living room, "go on" she smiled, "you go in first, I'll be right behind you." Rachel's hands shook as she reached for the door handle, gasping as she stepped into the room, "Happy Birthday" Shelby grinned as Rachel turned to face her, "is it okay?" She saw tears pooling in Rachel's eyes, "it's too much, I'm sorry."

"No, no, it, it's... thank you" Rachel flung herself into Shelby's arms, "thank you."

"You're welcome beautiful, would you like to open some presents?"

Rachel nodded slowly, "yes, yes please."

Shelby couldn't help but grin as she sat amongst the balloons on the floor, "these are from me" she pointed to the first pile of presents, all wrapped neatly in pink paper. Rachel sat beside Shelby for a while before Shelby broke the ice by passing her a present, she knew it was pyjamas, she wanted to start with something small, "here, open them, they're all for you."

Rachel turned the gift over in her hands for a while examining it closley before unwrapping it slowly and carefully without ripping the paper, her face lit up as she ran her fingers over the soft cotton fabric, "they're so soft, I love them, thank you."

Shelby wrapped her arm around Rachel's shoulder and kissed her temple, "it's okay my darling, I'm so glad you like them." Tears rolled silently down Rachel's cheek as she opened cds, dvds, clothes, books and her ipod she couldn't believe how much Shelby had bought her and she'd cried for almost 20 minutes when she'd opened the ipod, it was the most expensive thing she'd ever been given. "Open this one next" Shelby handed Rachel a small pink envelope, "I, I guess this is the gift I'm least sure about."

Rachel carefully opened the envelope, "Momma" was al she could say as she read the writing on the stapled sheets, Shelby had paid for her to be a zookeeper in the elephant enclosure for a day, "Momma, I, thank you, thank you."

"I'm glad you like it" Shelby kssed Rachel again, "I noticed how much you seemed to like them when we went to the zoo with Amy, Max and Lil."

"Yeah" Rachel afted with her mother, "I don't know why, I just like them, I guess they're so huge but at the same time they seem so peaceful. I can't believe I'll actually get to touch one" her tears turned into sobs, "this is the best day of my life" she whispered.

"Oh baby" Shelby pulled Rachel to sit on her lap, rocking her slightly as the teen cried into her mother's chest, "it's okay, you're okay."

"I'm sorry" Rachel sobbed, "you've done so much and I'm ruining it all."

"You're not ruining it at all darling, it's okay. Today is your day, we can take things as slowly as you like. I think we should leave the rest of the gifts for a while and get something to eat, is that okay?"

Rachel looked at the pile of presents noticing there was only one present left from Shelby, she sniffled and wiped at her eyes before quietly asking, "could I open the last present from you?"

"Of course" she kissed Rachel's temple and wiped at her damp cheeks before reaching for the last gift, "here you go baby."

Rachel carefully peeled off the paper to reveal a large wooden box with the words 'my memories' painted on the top, "Momma" she sobbed as she ran the fingers of her good hand over the lid of the box, "it's so beautiful."

"I'm glad you like it sweetheart, I saw you'd kept your movie ticket and I thought you might want to keep some birthday cards and things, photos, whatever you want."

"Thank you" Rachel smiled, she'd had a great time at the movies and Brittany had promised her they'd hang out again before they went back to school.

"You're welcome" she kissed Rachel's head, "do you want to go out for breakfast?" She looked at the clock, "well, I suppose it'd be brunch now, we could go out for a couple of hours then come back and open some more gifts."

Rachel nodded, "that sounds good."

Shelby patted Rachl's thigh, "jump up then so we can both get dressed and go or it'll be lunch time before we get anywhere."

After they'd eaten Shelby told Rachel she was taking her somewhere to get the final part of her present, "it's nowhere bad and I'll be right with there with you" was all Shelby would tell her.

"Mom" Rachel frowned as they pulled up outside Lima's animal centre.

"I thought that now we're a family we really need a pet, I filled in all the paperwork and had the home checks a few months ago but I never got round to coming and picking something out so I thought maybe you could help?"

"Mom" was all Rachel could say.

"Is that okay with you? I don't want anything huge, so preferably a cat or a small dog but other than that I'll leave the decision up to you.".

They walked into the shelter and were soon greeted by a volunteer who pulled up Shelby's file and offered to show them around the animals, they saw several dogs and cats, they were all adorable but none really stood out to either Rachel or Shelby, anything that jumped up at or yapped at Shelby was immediately a no in the mother's head, as was the dog that nipped her fingers when she tried to stroke it, "I'm afraid that's all we have" the shelter voulenteer told them.

"Wha, what about that one" Rachel gestured to the final enclosure where she saw a small ball of tabby fur curled up in the far corner making a noise that sounded like a whimper.

The voulenteer shook her head, "that's Jasper, he was in a bad way when he came in, he's almost back to full health but he doesn't like people, he won't let anyone approach him."

"Could I try?" Rachel asked

The voulenteer shrugged, "I guess so, but don't expect anything from him." Shelby and the volunteer saw Jasper look in Rachel's direction as she entered the enclosure but he only whined and curled himself into a tighter ball. Rachel was undettered though and she crouched on the floor a little way away from him, holding her uninjured hand out palm up in his direction before fixing her gaze on the floor infront of her.

It took almost half an hour, Shelby could tell the volunteer was getting bored but she wasn't going to give up, and she was glad they hadn't when Jasper slowly uncurled himself and began to limp slowly towards Rachel, he sniffed cautiously at her palm for a minute before rubbing his head against it, Rachel looked up at Shelby with a huge smile on her face and Shelby felt her eyes fill with tears, her daughter was so beautiful, "we'll take him" Shelby told the volunteer.

"Are you sure? We've made him a special case, lowered the adoption fees but no one wanted him"

"We'll take him" Shelby repeated firmly.

The volunteer took Shelby and Rachel out to the reception area where somone offered to help them fill in the adoption forms whilst the volunteer got Jasper into a carry box. It was this worker who explained Jasper had been found in a hedge, only a few days old, with several injuries including a broken leg, the cast for which had only just been removed which explained the limp, something the vet had told the staff at the shelter would probably go as Jasper got used to walking on the leg again.

Fifteen minutes later and they left the shelter with Jasper in a cardboard carry box, "we need to stop at the petshop to get some things for him" Shelby said as she strapped the carrybox onto the back seat, "it can be his birthday too."

They arrived home to find a giftbag on the doorstep with a 'happy birthday' helium balloon tied to the handles, as Shelby lifted Jasper from the car Rachel picked up the giftbag before unlocking the door with her own key, "what have you got there?" Shelby asked as she followed Rachel into the hall and placed the carrybox on the floor at the bottom of the stairs.

"I don't know" Rachel frowned, "it was on the doorstep."

Shelby smiled, "check the tag" she gestured to the gift.

"It's from Noah" Rachel smiled as she read the message scrawled on the gift tag, "he must have come over whilst we were out."

Shelby smiled, "why don't you open it while I get the bags from the car and then we can get Jasper settled."

Rachel slowly walked into the living room, kicking a few balloons out of her way as she walked before she sat on the sofa and opened the giftbag, her eyes filling with tears as she saw the gift Noah had chosen.

Shelby dropped the bags from the petshop on the floor beside the box that housed their new pet and walked into the living room making a mental note to move the balloons before they let Jasper out, she didn't want any of them to pop and scare him even more than he probably already was, "Rachel" her concerns about the cat were soon forgotten once she saw the tears rolling down Rachel's face, "baby what's wrong?" she asked as she sat beside her daughter and pulled her into a hug, "Oh sweetheart she smiled as Rachel passed her Noah's gift, a plain silver photo frame with a picture of them both as children, both hanging upside down from a set of monkey bars with huge smiles on their faces and both missing front teeth, they looked adorable.

"My daddies never took me to the park" Rachel explanied, "I only got to go when Mrs Puckerman would take me with Noah."

"I promise you we can go to the park whenever you want" Shelby told Rachel, "you just have to say the words."

Rachel nodded and wiped at her face, "can we let Jasper out now?"

"Yeah, I thought we could put his bed in here but leave his igloo in the hall where it's quieter." Rachel nodded, "I'll put his food in the kitchen and his litter tray in the laundry room, we can let him out near his igloo, give him time to get settled in before he has to face us."

"Okay."

"I'll cut the labels and stuff off his bed, can you shut all the doors upstairs? I want to try and keep him down here if we can, I'd rather not lose him under a bed just yet."

"He's like me isn't he" Rachel asked, "I mean he's scared but he'll be okay right?"

"Yeah" Shelby agreed, "we'll give him lots of love and lots of cuddles and he'll be fine, he'll need time to adjust to living here."

"Like I did."

Shelby nodded and kissed Rachel's head, "Yeah, but he'll be okay, just like you'll be okay."

Rachel smiled and nodded, "I, I think that I might be okay too."


	16. Chapter 16

**Saviour **- What if the men Shelby gave her baby to hadn't been the loving parents she thought they would be

**Rating** - T

**Characters** - Shelby & Rachel

**A/N - **I've got a busy few weeks coming up so it might be a while before I can update again.

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It wasn't until two days after Rachel's birthday that her last present, a game of mouse trap from Shelby's brother and sister inlaw, was unwrapped and Shelby decided it was time to prepare for Christmas. She'd never forget just how Rachel's face had lit up when Shelby had taken her to buy a 'real' tree, a large one for the living room and a smaller one for the bedroom, they'd spent the whole afternoon decorating both trees and every time Shelby looked at her daughter that evening the teen was smiling in the direction of the Christmas tree. Rachel would never admit it to anyone but she was starting to feel like Shelby's house was now her home.

"Okay, I'm coming, I'm coming." Shelby sighed as she ran went to answer the door the next day.

"Hey" she was greeted by a tall blonde girl who some how managed to hug her even though her hands were full with bags and balloons, "I'm Brittany" she introduced herself, "are you Rachel's mom?" Shelby only had time to nod before the girl continued, "Noah told us it was Rachel's birthday, he only told us yesterday or we wouldn't have missed it, I hope it was okay we came over, we bought cake and presents."

She finally took a breath and Shelby noticed Noah and four other kids stood behind Brittany, "no, sure, come in, I'll let Rachel know you're here." Brittany and Noah stepped into the house closely followed by Mike, Matt, Quinn and Santana who were quickly introduced to Shelby before she stepped into the living room, "Rachel baby" she walked over to where Rachel was lounging on the sofa, "your birthday party's here."

"My, my..."

"Noah, Brittany, Santana, Quinn, Mike and Matt, they've bought cake and balloons." She saw the corners of Rachel's mouth curl into a smile before calling the kids into the room.

Shelby wasn't surprised when Brittany greeted Rachel with yet another crushing hug, "I only found out about your birthday yesterday" Brittany told Rachel, "or I wouldn't have missed it."

"I'll leave you guys to it, Rae I'll be in the basement if you need anything" she had some christmas presents for Rachel hidden in the basement, now would be the perfect time to wrap them, "feel free to help yourself to anything in the kitchen" she told the group of teens before leaving the room.

"I got you this" Brittany handed Rachel a large stuffed bear wearing a 'Happy Birthday' tshirt and a small square present that turned out to be a cd of all Brittany's favourite songs and a sheet of duck stickers to decorate her cast.

She was overwhelmed as Quinn handed her a gift next, a small box which she opened to find a simple silver chain with a small 'R' hanging from it. Mike was next, he and Matt had clubbed together to get $50 of vouchers for a local book and music store, all the gifts came with warm wishes and hugs but what surprised Rachel the most was Santana, "Happy Birthday" she mumbled as she thrust the gift towards Rachel.

"Thank you" Rachel managed to stutter in response before Santana rolled her eyes and went back to sit beside Quinn. She opened the paper and smiled, "Thank you Santana" she whispered. The gift was simple, a set of 6 nail varnishes and a voucher for a manicure once her cast was removed but to Rachel it was the world, it was a sign that things were getting better, that things wouldn't be quite so bad if she ever went back to McKinley.

It was a little after 9pm when everyone left after hours of fun, laughter and a large amount of pizza. Even as Shelby helped Rachel climb the stairs to bed, the girl still had a huge smile on her face, "they signed my cast Momma". Rachel sighed as Shelby helped her change.

"I can see that sweetheart, and Brittany told me your cast was blue like a pond, that was why she bought the duck stickers"

Rachel held up her cast to examine it closely, a row of ducks 'swam' neatly around the top of her cast, "I had fun today Mom, Quinn painted my nails" she grinned, wiggling her pale blue, glittery nails.

"I'm glad you've enjoyed yourself" Shelby said truthfully, walking Rachel into the bathroom, she loved spending time with her daughter but she'd be lying if she said she wasn't only slightly relieved that Rachel was starting to relax more around her peers, even if the girl was so exhausted that Shelby had to sit the teen on the toilet lid to brush her teeth, "you'll have to invite them round again, maybe I could get a tv and a sofa to put in the basement for you so you can hang out down there, I'm sure the guys would like the gym equipment and the girls look like they'd appreciate the dance floor."

"They're cheerios" Rachel slurred sleepily, "and the boys play football."

Shelby smiled and handed Rachel a glass of water before helping her over to the sink, "rinse". She helped Rachel to the bed and her eyes fluttered closed almost as soon as she'd laid down, "Good night darling" Shelby whispered as she pulled the covers straight and kissed Rachel's forehead, "I love you." Shelby stood watching Rachel sleep for a minute, she couldn't believe how much Rachel seemed to have come out of her shell over the past couple of weeks, she only hoped that meeting her entire family didn't push her back.

Christmas day was quiet, once again the pile of gifts bought Rachel to tears, and her sobs only got louder as she realised she'd not got anything for Shelby, "you're here" Shelby had told her daughter, "I get to spend Christmas Day with you and nothing you could buy from a store would beat that."

Shelby cooked a roast chicken and all the trimmings for lunch, and made sandwiches from the leftovers for dinner before she curled up on the sofa to watch a dvd with Rachel, both smiling when Jasper jumped up to sit in Rachel's lap. They'd done nothing special but it had been the best Christmas both Shelby and Rachel had ever had.

"I'd like you to meet my Mom" Shelby said before they walked into the house the next morning, "but you don't need to meet anyone else until later, and if it all gets too much for you then tell me, we can take a break, it's not a problem sweetheart."

"Shelby darling" Shelby was pulled into her mothers arms almost the second she opened the door, "Merry Christmas"

Shelby smiled and relaxed into her Mom's embrace, "Merry Christmas Mom." She took a step back once her Mom let her go, "Mom, this is..."

"Rachel" Shelby's Mom whispered as she saw the girl stood nervously in the doorway, "come here, let me see you" she opened her arms and Rachel soon found herself in the same bone crushing hug her mother had been in just moments earlier, "I can't believe it's you" she sighed as she took a step back and took a good look at her eldest grandchild, "you're right Shelby" she placed her hand on Rachel's cheek, "she's beautiful." She shook her head and wiped at her eyes, "I'm Erin" she finally introduced herself, "you can call me Erin or you can call me Nanna" she told Rachel, "whatever you like."

"Thank you" Rachel whispered shyly.

"An'Lelby, Rae" they were interrupted by Lily running at them with a huge smile on her face.

"Hey monster" Shelby scooped Lily into her arms, "where's your indoor voice?"

"Santa come." Lily informed her aunt and cousin, "bring presen's"

"Lil" Amy called for her daughter, "What did I..." she saw her daughter with her sister, "Merry Christmas Shel" she kissed her cheek, "Merry Christmas Pretty Girl" she kissed Rachel too, "did you have a good day yesterday?"

Rachel nodded, "Yes thank you, and thank you for all my presents, you really didn't have to go to so much trouble"

"No trouble" Amy took Rachel's hand and squeezed it, "and you are more than welcome for the gifts." Amy had given Shelby Rachel's presents on Christmas eve so she could open them in her own time and unlike her birthday Rachel had opened all her presents on Christmas day, although she hadn't yet had gifts from Shelby's parents or either of her uncles.

Amy took Lily back into the living room whilst Shelby and Rachel took of their coats and shoes. As promised nobody paid any attention as mother and daughter entered the room and settled themselves on the sofa, Shelby quietly pointing everyone out to Rachel. "Your Mom said you were here, I can't believe you didn't come and say hi" a man Rachel assumed was Shelby's father walked over to them and pulled Shelby into a hug, "it's good to see you baby girl" he told her before turning his attention to Rachel, "and you must be Rachel, I've heard so much about you, it's good to be able to finally put a face to the name, I'm Paul, your Grandpa" he held out his hand for Rachel to shake, "I can't believe how much you look like your Mom when she was your age" he smiled, "maybe we can get the baby pictures out later, "embarrass your Mom, she had a huge perm when she was your age, her hair was so big I'm surprised she managed to get through the doorways." Rachel giggled slightly, "if looks could kill" he nodded at Shelby who was shooting daggers at her father, "anyway, I better go see if Erin wants a hand in the kitchen but come find me if you want to see those pictures" he said with a wink.

The day was going better than expected, Shelby's family had been respectful of Shelby's request for space and she was slowly introducing her family to her daughter and so far everyone loved her, not that she was surprised, "Rachel" Erin and Paul walked over to her later that morning, "can we have a word please?"

Rachel glanced at her mom, "I'll be right here Rachel, I won't go anywhere, you'll be okay." Rachel nodded and solemnly followed her grandparents out of the room and down the hall, "welcome to my man cave" Paul smiled as she stepped into his study, "take a seat" he gestured to the leather sofa and Erin sat beside her as Paul wheeled over the chair from behind his desk. "Every year" he began to explain, "we set a budget, we spend the same amount on everyone for their birthdays and Christmas regardless, we spend the same amount on you Mom as we do on the triplets, well, this is their first Christmas but you know what I mean."

"What Paul is trying to say is, that even though you weren't here, we wanted you to be, in our eyes you have always been a part of this family. We might not have been able to buy you gifts but we wanted to do something, so for the past fifteen years, every December 18th and every Christmas we've put th money away for you. Your mom said she planned to find you when you turned 18 so it's locked away until then but it's gathering a lot of interest, you can use it for whatever you want once you turn 18, a car, a deposit for a house, college fees, you could even pack up and go traveling if you wanted to. I know you'll think it's too much but darling, we'd have spent it on you anway so please don't argue."

"I, I can't take this" Rachel's hands shook as she looked at the papers Paul had handed her, one of which was a bank statement dated for the end of November, it was more money than Rachel had ever seen in her life, "it's not that I'm not grateful" she tried to explain, "but I can't, it's too much" she began to hyperventilate and, without Rachel noticing, Paul left the room to fetch Shelby.

"Rachel sweetheart" Erin spoke softly as she placed her arm around Rachel's shoulders, "you don't have to take these papers right now, you don't even have to take them when you turn 18, we'll keep hold of them until you're ready, but we're not going to take this back, just like we will never take back any of the gifts we give you. You have been a part of this family, in spirit if not in person, since the day you were born, I hope one day you'll be able to feel comfortable with us, we've waited fifteen years to meet you and I promise you, you will get nothing but love in my house I can be sure of that."

"Mom?" Shelby questioned as she stepped into the room to find Rachel sobbing into Erin's shoulder.

"We've been saving for Rachel" Erin explained, "every year, for her birthdays and Christmas, we've put the money we would have spent on gifts into the bank, she'll be able to withdraw it when she turns 18."

"Oh baby" Shelby knelt infront of the sofa and Rachel almost launched herself into her mother's arms, "shh, you're okay" Shelby sat on the floor with Rachel on her lap rocking her backwards and forwards, "you're okay sweetheart, you're okay." Shelby noticed Rachel's eyes drooping, "I'm going to take her upstairs" Shelby told Erin, "let her take a nap."

"Okay" Erin smiled, "I'll ask everyone to be quiet if they go upstairs. Lay her in our room if you like, there's a travel cot in there for the babies but they're all downstairs, it'll be more comfortable if you want to stay with her for a while."

Shelby smiled as she helped Rachel to her feet, "thanks Mom."

Rachel woke a while later in a strange room, it took a while for her to remember that she was at her grandparents house and her mom was waiting downstairs for her. She sat up slowly, frowning when she heard a noise that sounded like Jasper when he was scared, when she heard it again she realised it came from a travel cot in the corner of the room. She slowly stood to her feet before walking across the room and peering into the travel cot, a tiny baby dressed in a pink baby grow stared back at her, she continued to whimper for a couple of seconds before beginning to scream.

"Phoebe's awake" Charlotte, Shelby's sister in law stated the obvious as they heard the crying over the baby monitor, "I'll go" she told Matt as he made to stand from where he was sat cradling another of the triplets, grabbing the diaper bag and leaving the room.

"I'm sorry" Rachel sobbed as Charlotte walked into the room, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make her cry."

"Hey" Charlotte lifted Phoebe from the travel cot, "you didn't make her cry sweetheart, she's just hungry that's all" she looked at Rachel for a minute, "would you like to feed her?"

Rachel couldn't look Charlotte in the eye, "I, I don't know how."

"I'll show you" Charlotte sat on the bed with her back against the headboard and gestured for Rachel to sit beside her, "here" she moved the pillows and cushions on the bed so Rachel could use her broken arm and the cushions to support Phoebe without too much trouble, "rest her head in your elbow" Charlotte laid the baby on Rachel's lap, "there you go" she reached into the diaper bag for a bib and fastened it around Phoebe's neck before handing Rachel a bottle, "just hold that so there's always milk in the teat so she doesn't get wind" she handed Rachel the bottle, "there we go" she smiled as Phoebe began to suck hungrily at the bottle, "it's simple isn't it."

Rachel nodded but didn't tear her eyes away from Phoebe, "I've never held a baby before" she admitted.

"Well you're doing a great job." They sat in silence for a while before Charlotte spoke again, "I'm Charlotte by the way, I'm married to your Uncle Matt, and that's Phoebe, Cora and Edie are downstairs, don't worry if you get them mixed up, I'm not even sure Matt can tell them apart" she laughed, "the kids certainly can't."

"You have three boys too right?" Rachel asked.

"Yeah" Charlotte nodded, "although sometimes they're more like monsters than children, Alex, Henry and Sam, apart from Rhys, the baby, all the boys downstairs are mine." Charlotte made small talk with Rachel until Phoebe's bottle was empty, "here" she lifted Phoebe from Rachel, "let me wind her then you can have a proper cuddle if you like." As promised she winded Phoebe before settling her back amongst the pillows on Rachel's lap.

"How old is she?" Rachel asked quietly.

"Four months tomorrow" Charlotte smiled, "she's the middle one, Cora's the oldest and Edie's the youngest, they were eleven weeks early, they've only been out of the hospital for three weeks."

"Are, are they okay?"

"Yeah" Charlotte smiled as she leant over and ran her fingers lightly over Phoebe's cheek, "they all needed some help breathing and feeding when they were first born but they're all okay now."

"She's beautiful."

"Thanks" Charlotte smiled again, "I think so too." They sat in silence for a while before Charlotte spoke again, "we should get back downstairs, your Mom will be wondering what I've done with you."

"Thank you for letting me hold her" Rachel whispered as Charlotte lifted Phoebe from Rachel, laying the baby against her chest, holding her tightly with her left arm.

"Anytime, you can hold any of them, you don't have to ask" Charlotte slung the diaper bag onto her right shoulder and held out her hand for Rachel, "come on, Erin said dinner will be ready soon."

"Hey baby" Shelby pulled Rachel onto her lap as soon as she saw her, "how are you feeling?"

"I'm okay" Rachel snuggled into her mother, "Charlotte let me feed Phoebe and then when Charlotte had winded her she let me hold her for a while."

Shelby smiled "I wondered what you were up to up there."

"I'd never held a baby before Momma, I thought I'd hurt her but Charlotte laid cushions on my lap to help because of my arm."

Shelby kissed Rachel's forehead, "of course you wouldn't have hurt her darling."

"She's so small."

"I know, but she'll grow, you were about that size when you were born."

Shelby sat talking quietly to Rachel until Erin announced lunch was ready. It had been years since the family had been small enough to fit comfortably around a dining table so Erin instead made a buffet style Christmas dinner, it was informal, like the family, and it meant Rachel didn't have to worry about not clearing her plate of a 'normal' sized portion.

"Shelby" Erin called over her eldest child about an hour after everyone had finished eating, "come help me do the dishes."

"But Rachel..."

"Will be fine with the rest of her family, you'll only be in the kitchen."

Amy glanced over at Rachel a while after Shelby had left with their mother, the girl looked terrified. She was sat on the sofa with her knees curled up to her chest as if she was trying to make herself so small she'd disappear. Amy glanced at Jim and tipped her head towards Rachel, Jim nodded and smiled in response letting Amy know he was okay watching Lily and Max so she could go see to Rachel. "Hey" she walked over to Rachel slowly, "go grab your coat."

"Why?" Rachel asked quietly, "where am I going?"

"We're going to get out of here for a bit, these kids are driving me crazy and I want some company."

Amy already had her shoes on so she pulled on her coat and made two cups of cocoa before Rachel appeared in the kitchen. "What are you two up to?" Erin asked, causing Shelby to spin on her heels to face her sister and daughter.

"Rach baby, what's going on? Where are you going?"

"Aunt Amy asked me to keep her company whilst she takes a break from the children."

"Do I need an excuse to get to spend time with my niece Shell? Maybe I want to tell her some embarassing stories about my favourite sister."

"Yeah" Shelby frowned, "thats what worries me."

"Come on Squirt" Amy handed Rachel a mug, "let's get some air."

"She's okay" Erin reassured Shelby, "she's just sat outside with Amy. She'll be fine."

Amy lead Rachel around the porch to sit on the swing at the back of the house, "hows it going?" She asked as they got settled on the swing and Amy covered their laps with a thick blanket she'd bought out with them, "I've not spoken to you since you came out of hospital."

"I'm okay" Rachel said quietly, "the doctors said the bleeding's all gone now and I don't get headaches as often."

"That's good" Amy smiled, "and how's it going living with Shelly?"

Rachel couldn't hold back her smile, "it's great" she grinned.

Amy smiled too and rocked the swing gently with her left leg before taking a sip of her cocoa, "Shelly said she'd put my number in your phone, for emergencies." Rachel nodded, "I want you to know that you don't have to wait for an emergency to call me, of there's ever anything you don't feel like you can talk to your mom about, or if you have an argument and need to get away for a while, hell even if you just want to chat about something you've seen on tv you can call me Rach. Day or night, it doesn't matter."

"Thank you" Rachel whispered softly.

"Its okay" Amy smiled back, "Shelly, she's like my best friend, my big sister and my therapist all rolled into one. She's done so much for me, I want to do the same for the two of you. We're family right, we might be loud and more than a little bit crazy but we're all here for you. We all love you and I'll be honest we're all a little bit surprised that you're here but we're so happy to have you. We can't wait to get to know you. Lily and Max adore you. They keep asking if you can come over and play, I keep putting it off but I'm not going to be able to stall forever."

"I think I'd like to see them more often, if that's okay? Maybe when my arm's better?"

"Of course it is" Amy put her now empty mug on the floor and reached out to wrap an arm around Rachel's shoulder. "They'd love that."

They sat in silence for a while before Rachel spoke, "did you, did you know my mom had had me?"

"Yeah" I was only about 10 when you were born, I didn't find out until I was pregnant with Max, I had horrible morning sickness and Shelly told me about something that had helped her. I asked what she was talking about and then she told me about you. I'll be honest I couldn't understand how she did it. I was 19 when I had Max, the same age Shelly was when she had you. Jimmy had just turned 21 and we were both terrified but we couldn't even think about giving him away. She was there, when my Maxie was born and the second the nurses put him in my arms I started yelling at her, there was this beautiful little girl somewhere who needed a mother and she'd given that up for money but then she broke down, she was on her knees in the delivery room sobbing about how much she missed you and how she regretted giving you up. I felt like a complete bitch, I knew she'd get you back one day though, what Shelly wants Shelly gets. I just wish it had been under better circumstances." Tears were rolling slowly down Rachel's face as Amy began to rub her back. "You just need to remember Rach that your mom loves you so much, she always has, please, if you only ever do one thing I ask you to do, don't ever doubt the love she has for you."

"I don't" Rachel said shakily, "I won't"

"Good" Amy kissed Rachel's temple, "she's going to kill me for making you cry". They rocked in silence for a while until Rachel calmed down, "are you ready to go back in now?" Rachel nodded, "Okay" Amy helped her to her feet before picking up the mug and the blanket and leading Rachel back inside.

Shelby was still in the kitchen when Amy and Rachel walked back into the house, only now she had Rhys on her hip and was filling a sippy cup with juice. She frowned when she noticed Rachel had been crying and Amy held her hands out for her nephew once she'd put the mugs in the sink, taking him back into the living room and leaving Rachel and Shelby alone.

"Baby" Shelby opened her arms, "what's wrong?"

Rachel almost ran into Shelby's arms, squeezing her mother as tightly as she could, "I love you" Rachel sobbed, "I love you so much."

"Oh baby" Shelby sighed, "I love you too."


	17. Chapter 17

**Saviour **- What if the men Shelby gave her baby to hadn't been the loving parents she thought they would be

**Rating** - T

**Characters** - Shelby & Rachel

**A/N - **A couple of people have been asking about Rachel's dads, they won't be back but you will find out what happened to them, probably in the next chapter, you'll find out whether or not Rachel's going back to school in the next chapter too.

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Rachel spent most of the day just watching, she curled into the end of the sofa watching her family interact with one another, she knew if she approached them she too would be included in whatever it was they were doing but for now she was happy to just watch.

She saw seven year old Alex push four year old Holly, causing her to stumble backwards into the coffee table, Emma was quick to pick up her daughter and comfort her but Rachel's breath caught in her throat as she saw Matt take hold of his son's wrist, "Seven minutes buddy" he said firmly as he moved his son into the corner of the room and turned him so he was facing the wall, "we've already spoken about your temper once today, if you want a toy someone else is playing with then you ask them nicely. If they say no then you wait for them to be finished. I'll call you when your time's up. If I see you turning around or leaving the corner before then I'll start counting from the beginning."

Rachel couldn't take her eyes off Alex and she was terrified when, seven minutes later, Matt called Alex over to the armchair where he was now sat, "sorry daddy" Alex mumbled.

"It's not me you need to apologise to Buddy. Do you know why I put you in the corner?"

"I pushed Holly cos she wouldn't give me the car"

Matt nodded, "that's right Al, you need to go say sorry to Holly and find something else to play with okay. You can get the car as soon as Holly's done with it."

"Okay daddy"

"I love you Buddy." Matt wrapped his arms around his son.

"I love you too Daddy."

"Okay" he kissed Alex's head, "go say sorry to Holly then grab your new game, I'll play it with you."

Rachel was shocked as Matt simply ruffled Alex's hair before allowing him to run off, apologise to and hug Holly before going to find his game, she was shocked, she knew Shelby had said her family weren't into physical punishments but watching Matt punish Alex had just confused her, she'd been beaten black and blue for getting a D on an essay yet Alex had only had to spend seven minutes in the corner for pushing his cousin over.

"Hey, who said you could sit in my chair?" Rachel was broken from her thoughts by her grandfather's voice and she turned to find him stood by 'his' chair by the fire, the chair where Lily was currently sat.

"Read me story Pappy?" she asked with a cheeky grin holding out a book she'd unwrapped earlier that morning.

"A story eh?" Paul raised an eyebrow, "you know what you need to do before Pappy can read you a story."

Lily giggled and stood up in Paul's chair, the grandfather crouching slightly so Lily could use his shoulders for support, "Love you Pappy" Lilly smiled before giving him a sloppy kiss on the cheek.

"I love you too Lil. Let me get my glasses and we can read your new book." He picked up his glasses from the mantel piece and put them on before lifting Lily from his chair and sitting down with her on his lap.

"Tired Pappy" Lily sighed as she made herself comfortable on her grandfathers lap.

"Okay" he reached for a blanket that was thrown over the back of his chair, "I'll read to you, you close those pretty eyes and get some sleep okay."

Lily nodded, "Love you Pappy."

"I love you too Lil" he kissed her head before beginning to read the book, "Once upon a time..." Lily fell asleep almost instantly but Paul knew Rachel was still listening to the story so he continued to read, "and they all lived happily ever after." He stood from his chair and laid a sleeping Lily on the sofa beside Rachel, making sure she was covered by the blanket before moving back to his chair, "come talk to me" he said softly as he turned his attention to Rachel and patted his lap once he sat back down.

"I, I'm too big" Rachel protested as she stepped over to the chair, "I'll hurt you."

"Nonsense" Paul shook his head, "Your Mom and Aunt Amy still like to sit with me when things are tough, if I can sit with them I can sit with you, besides, I've cradled all my children and every other one of my grandchildren in this chair, humour me and let me get the full set." Rachel slowly stepped closer to the chair and sat cautiously on her grandfathers lap, she told herself her mother was only at the other side of the room, Shelby had promised Rachel she'd never be hurt, there was no way Shelby would let Paul hurt her right? "Your Mom said you've had it rough" Paul's voice was soft and gentle as he moved Rachel to sit properly on his lap and began to rock the chair slowly.

"Yeah" Rachel sighed, "I guess you could say that."

"I don't know all the details" Paul said truthfully, "and I won't ever push you for those details, if there comes a time when you want to talk to either me or your Nanna about everything then we'll be here to listen but right now I'd like to tell you something if you don't mind?"

"Okay" Rachel whispered, unsure of what her grandad was going to tell her.

"The tap in the kitchen keeps dripping" Paul began, confusing Rachel, she didn't know why he was telling her that, "I've fiddled with it, Matt and Luke have fiddled with it, I think even Jim's had a go but nobody's managed to stop it dripping. The porch door rattles in the wind because it doesn't fit in the frame properly and every single step in that staircase creaks but you know what, I love this house. Your Nanna and I moved in here six weeks after we got married, three of my babies and two of my grandbabies were born upstairs and I know for a fact your Mom spent hours when she was just a little older than you trying to work out how she could sneak in after curfew and miss all the creaky floorboards on the stairs. Those squeaky stairs have had tiny feet pounding up and down them more times than I could ever remember, that porch door has been slammed, swung on and kicked open and the leaky tap has washed hundreds of dishes, cleaned tiny faces and little hands and filled hundreds of water bombs and water pistols, you see that corner of the hearth?" Paul pointed to the wooden frame of the tiled hearth in front of the fire and Rachel nodded, "Luke got three stitches after he hit his head on it when he was five, he wrapped a towel around his shoulders and jumped from this very chair thinking he could fly like superman. I guess what I'm trying to say Rachel is that this house is far from perfect and so are the people in it but I still love them. We argue, the kids sometimes fight, they get dirty and sometimes the little ones, well they smell bad" Rachel smiled slightly "but I love them anyway, you don't have to be perfect here Rachel, you just have to be you, we all want you to be here, we want to get to know you, one of the reasons I love this house so much is because of all the memories it holds for me, I'm getting old Rachel and Erin and I like to sit at night and reminisce, I want to be able to reminisce about things you've done, things we've seen you do, funny little things you've said. I'm probably just rambling on but what I want you to remember from this rubbish anecdote is that we are your family and we will love you no matter what okay. I know it might take you a while to be comfortable around us and that's fine. There are no limits, no conditions, we will love you exactly how you are okay?"

Rachel nodded, "thank you."

"You don't ever need to thank us for loving you."

Shelby smiled, she'd been listening to her dad speak to Rachel for a while now, "Hey" she finally made her presence known, "can I borrow Rach? Me and Mom have got something to show her."

"Sure" Paul smiled, "remember what I said kiddo."

Rachel stood from her grandfather's lap and followed Shelby and Erin from the room, she allowed herself to be lead up the stairs and up to Erin and Paul's bedroom where she'd taken her nap earlier, "sit down baby" Shelby sat Rachel on the edge of the bed, "I'll be right back." Rachel watched as Shelby and Erin walked over to wardrobe by the door, talking quietly to each other as Erin reached for something obviously on a high shelf, "this is for you" Shelby handed Rachel something wrapped in tatty sheets of tissue paper before sitting beside her daughter, and watching as Erin sat at the other side of Rachel.

"What, what is it?" Rachel asked as she held the bundle on her lap.

"Why don't you open it and find out?" Erin suggested.

Rachel placed her broken arm on top of the bundle to hold it still as she began to unwrap it with her good arm, "It, it's beautiful" she gasped as she saw the blanket the paper housed, it was made of crocheted squares in various soft, pastel colours and Rachel knew it had taken someone a lot of time, effort and love.

"My great grandma made it when she was pregnant with my grandma, her eldest daughter" Erin explained, "My Grandma used it with my Mom, her eldest daughter and I used it with your Mom, my eldest daughter."

"So now it's yours" Shelby smiled softly, "I was going to give it you, with Edward Bear, when I found you after your eighteenth birthday, but I thought that now you're here..."

"I can't take this" Rachel whispered, "it's, it's..."

"It's yours" Erin said softly, "I made blankets for all my other grandbabies just like my Mom made blankets for Matt, Luke and Amy, but you, you're the eldest daughter of my eldest daughter so this one, this one is all yours."

"And maybe one day, in the very, very distant future" Shelby emphasised, "you can use it to bring my first granddaughter home."

"I can't take this." Rachel sobbed

"Baby" Shelby wrapped her arm around Rachel's shoulder and pulled her close, "this blanket is yours, it's been yours since the day you were born but if you're not ready to use it now then that's fine, we can take it home and put it away somewhere until you are ready."

"Your Mom's right, Rachel, whether you take this home and keep it in a drawer or whether I put it back in the wardrobe this is yours, it will always be yours, even if you don't use it for yourself it will still be here if or when you want to use it for your own child."

"What, what if your first daughter hadn't had a daughter?" Rachel asked cautiously.

"But she did." Erin argued before answering the question Rachel really asked, "your mom would just have kept it. It's not my blanket Rachel, it stopped being mine as soon as I wrapped your Mom's wrinkly little butt up in it" she smiled, "just like it stopped being your Mom's blanket as soon as she gave it to you."

"Thank you" Rachel whispered as she ran her fingers over the blanket, "thank you so much."

"It's my pleasure Beautiful."

Rachel sat with Erin and Shelby for a while before they made their way back downstairs and Rachel was ambushed by Max almost straight away, he'd got a new set of felt tips for Christmas and he wanted to draw on Rachel's cast. Shelby didn't see Rachel for almost an hour as all her nieces and nephews surrounded her, even 8 month old Rhys added his name in black pen, with a lot of help from his dad Luke and Charlotte signed the cast from the triplets. It was a little after seven and Shelby could tell Rachel was exhausted, "I think it's time to make a move" she told her Mom, "Rachel looks exhausted."

Erin nodded, "yeah, she does poor thing, it's been great to meet her though, she's an amazing girl."

"Yeah" Shelby agreed, "but then she's mine, I wouldn't expect anything less."

"Careful" Erin warned her daughter, "you don't want your head getting so big it won't fit through the door. You get Rachel ready to go, I'll get your presents together and let everyone know you're going."

"I'm tired Momma" Rachel whispered as they walked out to the car.

"I know sweetheart but we're going home now, we can change into our new pyjamas" Erin bought everyone pyjamas every year, "and snuggle up with Jasper and a dvd."

"Do you think he'll be okay?"

"I think he'll be fine, he had food and water, I left the heating on so he wouldn't get cold, he's probably been exploring the house while we're not in just like you did when I had to go to Carmel."

"I'm sorry" Rachel whispered.

"Don't be sorry darling, it's our house, not mine, you are more than welcome to walk around if you want to."

"Thank you"

Shelby sighed, she knew telling Rachel not to thank her would be useless, "we could order takeout too if you want."

"I, I'm okay, I'm still pretty full from earlier."

"You need to eat darling, I'll see what I can fix up for us, maybe just a sandwich or something."

Jasper froze on the stairs as the front door swung open, it was almost as if he thought he'd been caught doing something he shouldn't be doing, "Hi boy" Shelby put the bags of presents down before crouching down and stroking him gently between his ears, "have you missed us?" He rubbed back against Shelby's hand and Shelby turned to Rachel, "see, I told you he'd be okay."

Rachel took her shoes and coat off before sitting on the bottom step and allowing Jasper to step into her lap, she said nothing as the cat made himself comfortable and Shelby knew it wouldn't be long until Rachel was fast asleep. Shelby took off her own coat and shoes before carefully lifting Jasper from Rachel's lap, "go get settled on the sofa" she carried Jasper through to the living room and waited for Rachel to get settled under the blanket before she put Jasper back in her lap, "I'm going to change" she told Rachel, "I'll get your pyjamas out for you and you can change when you're ready."

"Could I have a shower?" Rachel asked.

"Of course" Shelby smiled, "do you want to shower now?"

"If that's okay?"

"Of course it is" Shelby smiled again, "come on, I'll help you cover your cast."

Half an hour later Shelby and Rachel were settled at opposite ends of the sofa, Beauty and the Beast was playing on the tv and they'd both eaten a light meal, "I was talking to Amy earlier" Shelby told Rachel as she grabbed the teen's feet and lifted them onto her lap, "she wondered if we wanted to go over there on New Years Eve. She said she'd cook and we could play games and watch movies and then Jim's got some fireworks for midnight. I said I'd see how you felt about it."

"Would everyone be there?" Rachel asked, unable to look her mom in the eye, she knew Shelby loved her family but Rachel had been completely overwhelmed by them all.

"No, just me and you and Amy, Jim, Lily and Max, and if you want to come home early or go to bed before midnight then that'll be fine, but if you'd rather stay here then that's okay too."

"I, I think I'd like to go. Is that okay?"

"Of course it is sweetheart, but it's okay if you change your mind too."

Almost before Rachel could blink it was New Years Eve and Rachel found herself at Amy and Jim's. Max was the only child that was still awake as midnight crept closer, Lily fell asleep a little before 10 and Rachel only lasted til 11, but at 10.50 Amy woke Lily and Shelby woke Rachel, "come on monkey face" Amy lifted Lily onto her hip, Lily's head lolling against her shoulder, "let's go see what Daddy and Mad Max are up to" she smiled at Shelby and left the room to give Rachel some time to wake up.

"Hey beautiful" Shelby smiled as Rachel's eyelids fluttered open, "it's almost midnight, do you want to come watch the fireworks or do you want to sleep?"

"I want to get up" Rachel mumbled sleepily, "I want to come with you."

They slipped their coats and shoes on and walked hand in hand into the garden to where Max, Lily and Amy were drawing shapes in the air with sparklers, "Here" Jimmy lit another sparkler as he saw his sister in law and niece leave the house, "you've got to write your name" he told Rachel as he passed the sparkler over, "it's the law." He smiled as he saw her begin to wave the sparkler in the air and took another stick from the packet, "Shel?"

"Like you have to ask" Shelby laughed, taking the sparkler and moving to stand with Amy and the kids.

"Five, Four, Three, Two, One... HAPPY NEW YEAR" it was as if the whole street joined in the countdown before the sky was amass with colours.

"Happy New Year Beautiful" Shelby wrapped her arms around Rachel as Amy wished her own children Happy New Year, "we're going to do great things this year I just know it."

Shelby and Rachel gave hugs to Max and Lily as Jim pulled Amy close and kissed her softly, "Happy New Year Pretty Girl" Amy grabbed Rachel from behind and squeezed her tightly as Rachel watched Shelby kiss Jimmy, "This is going to be the best year of your life kid, just you wait and see, I promise you, this time next year your face will ache from smiling so much."

Amy moved on to Shelby and Jimmy slowly walked over to Rachel, "Happy New Year" he smiled.

"Happy New Year" Rachel replied softly.

"Can I give you a hug?" Jim asked? Rachel nodded slowly, she was quickly learning that Shelby's family loved to give hugs and Rachel didn't mind that at all. "It'll get better" he told her as he held her tightly, "in a years time we'll do this again, we'll get together and you'll see, things will have changed so much, things will be so much better for you, we'll all make sure of that."

"Thank you" Rachel whispered as tears filled her eyes, "thank you."

Jimmy squeezed Rachel tightly, "I'm only saying it because it's true Rachel, you've got a family who adore you, and trust me, I've been the new one, they're crazy and they're loud but they're amazing people, the second anything goes wrong, the second you need anything, they're all there. They're good people, it just takes a while to get used to how loud they can be."

"Jim-bob" Amy shouted her husband, "stop making my niece cry."

Jim laughed and finally let go of Rachel, "see. Loud and overprotective but they'll love you no matter what."

"Daddy" Lily frowned as she approached Jim and Rachel, "No make My Rae sad" she said firmly as she wrapped her arms around Rachel's legs.

"I'm sorry" Jimmy ran his hand over Lily's head, "and I'm sorry for making you cry Rachel."

"It's not your fault. I didn't mean to, I'm sorry, I..."

Shelby had been standing back, watching Rachel and Jimmy, she knew Rachel was beginning to build a relationship with Amy but was still nervous around Jimmy, Shelby couldn't blame her, the last men she'd trusted had left her on a stranger's doorstep in the middle of the storm. She was glad to see Rachel seemed to be okay in Jim's presence but now she knew it was time to step in, "take a deep breath baby" Shelby put her hand between Rachel's shoulder blades, "you're okay, you're okay."

"I'm sorry" Rachel sobbed as she crumpled into Shelby's arms, "I'm sorry."

"You've got nothing to be sorry for sweetheart, nothing at all."

"Can, can we go home?"

Shelby felt her heart swell as Rachel called her house home, "of course we can baby."

They said their goodbyes and were soon in the car, "I'm sorry I spoilt the night" Rachel whispered.

"You didn't spoil anything darling."

"We left early because I..."

"I want to stop you there, firstly, it's almost 1am, it's not early, and secondly, I'm glad we left Rachel, I'm glad you feel comfortable enough to tell me when you're comfortable. I'm happy you're able to tell me you're not happy and trust me to change that."

"I'm..."

"You're perfect" Shelby told her as she pulled onto the driveway and switched off the engine, "you are my perfect baby girl and I love you, exactly how you are. Your life has done a complete 360 recently and you're still going, so many people, people so much older than you, wouldn't have been able to still be as strong as you are." She placed her hand on Rachel's cheek and wiped away a stray tear. "I don't know what this year's going to bring for us sweetheart, but I can promise, no matter what it throws at us we'll face it together. You won't ever feel like you're on your own again. I know it's a big change sweetheart, no one expects you to hit the ground running, it's going to take a while for you to figure things out, to get used to how things are now but that's okay, we're here, we're not going anywhere. You have a family now Rachel, a whole bunch of people who want nothing more than you to be happy, whether that means you take a nap on their couch when we're visiting, you cry for an hour or you leave ten minutes after you arrive, as long as you're happy no one minds at all."

Rachel nodded, she didn't know how to respond to that, like always she was overwhelmed by the love she felt from Shelby, "Mom" she sobbed.

"I know" Shelby whispered, "I know" she glanced at the clock on the dashboard, "it's getting late and Mrs Puckerman is expecting us for dinner tomorrow, so let's get inside and get some rest, we'll take each day as it comes. Things will get better Rachel, I promise you, I promise you won't feel like this forever."


	18. Chapter 18

**Saviour **- What if the men Shelby gave her baby to hadn't been the loving parents she thought they would be

**Rating** - T

**Characters** - Shelby & Rachel

**A/N - **Really struggled to get this chapter to 'flow' right, but I've done my best. I've had a couple of reviews and pms asking for Rachel to get her period, so here you guys go. Planning on making the next chapter quite Puckleberry centred, those of you wanting Finchel may be disappointed!

* * *

_The new year got off to a great start for both Shelby and Rachel, they spent New Year's Day at the Puckerman's, Noah's mom had pulled Rachel into a hug the second she opened the door, "Oh my darling" she'd sighed as she'd held Rachel tightly, "you should have told me, I'd have had you out of that house quicker than you could have blinked, I'd never have let you stay there so long" she kissed Rachel's forehead, "Promise me sweetheart, if you ever need anything, ever again and you can't tell your mom you come to me. And I hope I'm wasting my breath saying this but sweetheart, if you ever need to get out, my door is always open for you."_

"_Thank you Mrs Puckerman" Rachel had mumbled into the older woman's chest._

"_Mrs Puckerman?" She frowned, "you always called me Ma, I understand you have your Mom now but there's no need to be so formal, you call me Ma or you call me Sarah okay?" Rachel nodded, "and you" she looked to Shelby, "as long as you're looking after this beautiful girl, you can call me Sarah."_

_Sarah had called Rachel into the kitchen after dinner, "did you get your Mom anything for the holidays?"_

_Rachel had bowed her head, "no, I, I didn't"_

_Sarah opened a cupboard and pulled out a neatly wrapped gift, "give her this, it'll mean more coming from you than me."_

_Rachel had shyly offered the gift to Shelby when she'd left the kitchen and Shelby had sobbed with happiness as she flicked through the photo album, watching Rachel grow from a cute toddler to a beautiful young woman with each turn of the page, each photo was labelled with the location, occasion and date and Sarah spent several hours talking to Shelby, telling her the story behind all the photos alongside many silly little stories from Rachel's childhood and as they left the Puckerman house Shelby knew she'd made a firm friend in Sarah._

_Rachel had her cast removed and got the all clear from her head injury, she was still working things through with her therapist but things were getting better, although she preferred the comfort she got from sleeping with Shelby, Rachel had spent several nights in her own bed without accidents or nightmares and she was even back at McKinley two days a week. Principal Figgins had resigned not long after Rachel had been pushed down the stairs, Sue had taken over as principal and her no nonsense stance on bullying made both Shelby and Rachel confident that she'd be safe now._

_Rachel was slowly coming out of her shell and every day Shelby found more to love about the girl she was getting to know, even Jasper no longer seemed scared of them and was happy to run around the house chasing shadows on the wall or occasionally his own tail. _

"_Rachel sweetheart" Shelby called her daughter as she hung up the phone and sighed, this was a conversation she didn't really want to have with Rachel but she had no choice and she figured it was better to get it over and done with, "Rachel, can you come down please, we need to talk."_

"_Is everything okay?" Rachel smiled as she walked into the room and flopped onto the sofa next to her mother._

_Shelby took a good look at the girl beside her, Rachel seemed so much happier lately, she always seemed to be smiling and Shelby hated that she was going to be the one to wipe the smile from her face. "I've just had a call from the police, I'm not going to sugar coat this Rachel, they found Leroy in a hotel room in Florida, he was quite badly beaten up, he said Hiram did it."_

"_Is he okay?" Rachel interrupted._

"_He spent the night in hospital but he's okay, nothing that won't heal given time. He told them that Hiram had gone to Mexico, Leroy said he wanted to try and find out if you were okay but Hiram got angry."_

_Rachel nodded, her head bowed, "Daddy, I mean Leroy, he, he used to sneak me food sometimes and if Da-Hiram was late home from work he'd let me sit in the kitchen until Hiram came home instead of making me wait on the porch."_

_Shelby smiled sadly, "Leroy said it was his idea to bring you here, he said Hiram wanted to leave you locked in the house." Leroy had also told the police Hiram had wanted to set fire to the house before they left but she wasn't going to tell Rachel that. How could you tell someone that the man they'd called Dad for almost fifteen years wanted to burn down the house you were locked in?_

"_Could, could you take me to school please?" Rachel asked quietly, it broke Shelby's heart, in less than five minutes Rachel had become the girl she was when she first moved in._

"_It's almost four darling, no one will be there" Shelby assumed Rachel wanted to go to school to see Noah or one of the other friends she'd been spending a lot of time with recently._

"_I want to, I need to, to run, on the track" she clarified._

_Shelby nodded, she understood, she was just glad Rachel felt able to tell her that, "sure, go change, I'll wait here for you darling." _

"_I, I'm ready" Rachel whispered as she walked back into the room a few minutes later dressed in sweats with her hair pulled back and her ipod and a towel in her hand._

"_Rachel" Shelby sighed as she stood from the sofa, "I'm sorry"._

_Rachel shrugged, "it's not your fault, they'd have been found eventually anyway."_

_Shelby sighed again, "do you want to..." she gestured to the door._

_Rachel nodded, "please, just let me grab some water."_

"_I'll wait here for you" Shelby told Rachel as she pulled into the school parking lot, "take as long as you need" she looked at Rachel for a moment, "Rachel, I, I" she shook her head, she didn't know how to put what she wanted to say into words, "I love you Rachel, no matter what happens, you will always have my love."_

"_I know" Rachel smiled, "I love you too."_

_Shelby leant across the centre console and kissed Rachel's forehead, "go run before it gets too dark."_

_Shannon was just packing up in her office when she noticed someone running on the track, she watched them run a few laps before picking up her stopwatch and heading out to the track. She made her way over to the bleachers without being seen and timed the girl as she ran a few laps, she was impressed. No one on the track team managed times like Rachel's, especially over such long distance, the girl just kept going. Finally Rachel began to slow down and jogged a couple of laps before finishing by walking for a while to cool down, she headed over to where she'd left her towel and water bottle and jumped slightly when she saw the football coach sat on the bleachers, "I didn't realise anyone was here" she said as she pulled out her earbuds._

"_I didn't want to disturb you" Shannon said truthfully as she handed Rachel her water bottle, "you seemed to be in the zone." Rachel said nothing but sat on the bleacher beneath Shannon, "you're fast" Shannon finally broke the silence, have you thought about joining the track team?"_

_Rachel shrugged, "I, I don't, I, I had, still have some problems, at home. I, I guess I ran to try and run away from them, I never, never, I just run."_

_Shannon placed her hand on Rachel's shoulder and squeezed softly, "Can I tell you something?" she asked, only continuing when she saw Rachel nod, "I only got into sport when I needed an escape from reality too."_

"_Really?"_

"_Yeah" Shannon sighed, "I was eight when I was taken into care, I spent ten years of my life bouncing between foster homes, and then last year, I left my fiance, the man I wanted to spend forever with, because he hit me so hard he fractured my cheekbone, so I guess what I'm trying to say kid is that you never really realise just how strong you can be until being strong is the only choice you have left. It might sound hard but you have to hold your head up high and keep walking, it's a long road but it'll lead you to better places." Rachel could only nod in response, her cheeks wet with tears, "do you need a ride anywhere?"_

_Rachel shook her head, "My mom said she'd wait for me in the parking lot."_

_It was Shannon's turn to nod, "come on" she stood and held out her hand to help Rachel up, "I'll walk you out front." She walked to the parking lot, "if you want to come to some track practices" she told Rachel, "you're always welcome, even if you don't want to be officially on the team, and if not, the track, the field, its yours whenever you need it."_

"_Thanks" Rachel smiled._

"_Anytime" Shannon patted Rachel on the back before heading back to her office to collect her things._

"_Feeling better?" Shelby asked as Rachel fastened her seatbelt._

_Rachel nodded, "yes thanks, I, I think better when I run, thank you for bringing me here."_

"_Anytime sweetheart, anytime." _

_It as a little after 8pm when Rachel told Shelby she was going to bed, she'd hardly eaten any of her dinner and Shelby was understandably worried, she'd called Alice and scheduled an emergency appointment for Rachel and then she'd called Amy to cry. Amy had tried to comfort her sister for over half an hour and then sent Rachel a text to remind her that she was there should she ever need to talk._

_Shelby tried to watch a movie after Rachel had gone to bed but she hadn't been able to concentrate, her mind was focused on one thing, Rachel, and it was almost 10 when Shelby finally broke herself from her thoughts and made her way up the stairs to bed. She sighed as she found her bed empty but found a little relief when she found Rachel was actually asleep in her own bed. She kissed her daughter, "sweet dreams baby" she whispered as picked up the family quilt from where it had fallen on the floor and placed it how Rachel liked it, rolled up against the left side of her body, before placing Edward Bear under Rachel's right arm and straightening the covers. She paused in the doorway for a moment, praying Rachel would sleep through without any nightmares. "I love you" she whispered before leaving the room, making sure not to shut the door all the way._

Shelby showered and then climbed into bed, exhausted from the day's events she fell asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow. She frowned as she woke and rolled over to look at the clock, it was a little before 4am, and although the house was silent the mother in her knew something was wrong. She pulled herself from her bed and she knew the second that she noticed Rachel's door was wide open that she'd woken because her daughter needed her. She noticed the slither of light coming from under the bathroom door and knocked softly, "Rachel, Rach darling, are you okay."

Inside the bathroom Rachel stood at the sink, tears rolling silently down her cheeks, she froze as she heard Shelby knock on the door, she was for it now, Shelby was going to kill her.

"Baby" Shelby tapped again, firmer this time, "are you okay." When she got no response she tried the door handle and was only slightly relieved when the door swung open, "sweetheart" Shelby found Rachel hunched over the sink, "what are you doing?"

"I'm sorry" Rachel sobbed, clutching at the sink as she felt her legs turn to jelly, "I'm sorry Momma, I'm sorry."

"What for darling?" Shelby moved to take Rachel in her arms as the girl began to sob harder.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry" Rachel choked between sobs.

Shelby glanced into the sink to find Rachel's bed sheet laid in pink tinged water, a small red stain in the middle. She took a moment to glance at Rachel's pyjama bottoms, and found a similar red stain on the once grey fabric between her daughter's legs, "Oh baby, it's okay, it's okay, there's no need to get worked up, we just need to get you cleaned up and changed, it's no problem sweetheart."

"I'm sorry" Rachel sobbed, shaking almost violently in her mother's arms.

"Oh baby" Shelby sighed, before pushing Rachel towards the toilet and lifting the lid as she felt Rachel begin to heave. No sooner had Rachel fallen to her knees did she vomit into the toilet, "oh sweetheart" Shelby sighed, sitting beside her daughter, holding back her hair and kissing her temple softly, "it's happened to us all, there's no need to get worked up like this. Amy" Shelby laughed at the memory, "once a month Amy used to stumble down the stairs first thing in a morning, push her sheets in the washing machine, tell us all to fuck off and then go back to bed. There's no need to get so worked up."

They sat on the floor until Rachel finished being sick and Shelby helped her to her feet before sitting her on the now closed toilet lid and filling a glass with water, "here" she said softly, as she dampened a wash cloth, "drink this slowly" she began to wipe at Rachel's forehead with the wash cloth, "let's run you a bath" she saw Rachel begin to shake again, "oh sweetheart" she sighed, "you need to calm down" she reached over to turn on the warm water in the bath, "come on beautiful, take some deep breaths" Rachel took a shaky breath and tears filled her eyes once again, "baby, I think you need to take one of your pills, I don't want you making yourself sick again." She refilled the glass with water before taking one of the small pills from the bottle in the cupboard by the sink.

Rachel swallowed the pill without saying a word and Shelby felt tears pool in her own eyes, "you need to get cleaned up sweetheart, do you want me to help you or do you want to do this on your own?"

"No" Rachel cried out, clutching at Shelby's hand, please, please don't leave me."

"I wont darling" Shelby promised, "but I need to get you some clean clothes." Shelby reached over and turned off the tap, checking the water wasn't too hot, "so how about you get in the bath, I'll go grab you some clean pyjamas and then come right back."

Rachel nodded slowly, "okay".

"I promise you" Shelby looked Rachel in the eye, "I will get something for you to change into and then I will be right back, you wont even be here for alone for five minutes."

"Okay"

Shelby kissed Rachel's forehead, "I love you."

As promised Shelby was gone for just a couple of minutes and she returned to see Rachel sitting motionless in the tub. Shelby reached for the washcloth she'd used to wipe Rachel's forehead earlier and passed it to Rachel, "here sweetheart, you need to get cleaned up." Rachel's breath was still shaky as she took the cloth from her mother, "you're okay darling" Shelby crouched beside the tub, "I'm not angry, not at all. I'm worried about you but I'm not angry, you're not going to get punished for this but you need to calm down baby."

Rachel's tiny body still shook as she began to wash herself, Shelby turned away to get a sanitary towel from the cabinet, she and Rachel had talked about tampons but there was no way in hell Shelby was even going to suggest she used one now. She placed the pad in Rachel's panties before taking the bottle of pills from the cupboard. The doctor had told her that if Rachel still hadn't calmed down after 20 minutes she should take another pill, and as much as Shelby hated drugging her child, she knew Rachel's mind wasn't with her and although she could comfort the girl it wouldn't calm her down the way it usually did and Shelby was willing to do anything she could to stop Rachel having another meltdown.

"Oh baby" Shelby sighed, pulling Rachel into her chest once the girl was dry and dressed, "it's okay, you're okay."

Rachel said nothing but allowed Shelby to hold her close as she breathed in her Shelby's relaxing scent and tried to slow her breathing down to match her mother's, "I'm sorry" she mumbled sleepily, "I'm sorry."

Shelby had been warned the anti anxiety meds might make Rachel sleepy which was why she'd asked the school to ring her if Rachel took her meds there, "there's nothing to be sorry for baby, nothing at all" she kissed Rachel's forehead and lifted the girl easily into her arms, "come on, let's get to bed." She laid Rachel in her own bed guessing Rachel wouldn't have put clean sheets on hers. "I'll be right back" she promised, collecting Edward Bear and the family quilt from Rachel's room, "here" she made sure Rachel was settled before climbing in beside her, not at all surprised when Rachel immediately snuggled up to her, reaching out to grab the hem of Shelby's shirt, "close your eyes" Shelby whispered as she flicked off the light, "go to sleep, you're okay now."

Shelby got herself settled in the bed before she pulled Rachel closer, allowing her daughter to rest her head on her shoulder, "I love you Momma"

"Oh sweetheart" Shelby kissed Rachel's forehead, "I love you too baby, so much more than you'll ever realise" she began to run her fingers gently through Rachel's hair, "I never asked you darling" Shelby spoke softly, "do you have any cramps or anything? Do you need a painkiller?"

Rachel blinked back tears again, "no, I, I'm okay, but could you, could you just..."

"Could I what sweetheart?"

"Could you maybe sing to me for a little while?"

"Of course" Shelby kissed Rachel's forehead again, "close your eyes beautiful." She hummed for a while until she thought of something to sing, "_This is a crazy world, these can be lonely times. It's hard to know who's on your side most of the time. Who can you really trust? Who do you really know? Is there anybody out there who can make you feel less alone? Some times you just can't make it on your own. If you need a place where you can run, if you need a shoulder to cry on, I'll always be around. When you need some shelter from the rain, when you need a healer for your pain, I will be there time and time again. When you need someone to love you, here I am._"

Shelby felt Rachel's grip on her shirt loosen and knew her song was working, Rachel was slowly drifting off to sleep. Shelby paused only for a moment to kiss Rachel again before she continued her song, "_If you have broken dreams, just lay them all on me. I'll be the one who understands, so take my hand. If you reach emptiness, you know I'll do my best to fill you up with all the love that I can show someone. I promise you you'll never walk alone. Well if you need a place where you can run, if you need a shoulder to cry on, I'll always be around. When you need some shelter from the rain, when you need a healer for your pain, I will be there time and time again. When you need someone to love you, here I am."_

"My beautiful girl" Shelby sighed, running her fingers through Rachel's hair, "I love you so much, I hope you know that. Today might not have gone our way but we've got tomorrow, you'll get another chance to be happy I promise you" Shelby sighed as her eyelids suddenly became heavy, "I just hope that chance comes soon."


End file.
